Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Importance of Being Known

I can't remember when I wrote this poem, but it's a theme I think about. Congruence means being the same on the inside that you are on the outside, but being known requires not only that but also another person's willingness to "get" you, and then accept you.
I'm blessed with a few people who really know who I am, who know I am emotionally brave, who know I cry too easily, who know I can be stubborn and who know I am total fun on vacation. It's easy to play a role to impress or protect, but these days I prefer to be myself. That's saying alot right there, but when I let myself be known to another person, and they return the favor, well, that's hitting the jackpot.
I thought it was that chuckle when you lean back and laugh,
Your willingness to dare even when the forecast’s grim,
The details and years piling up until you are now your age,
And the plans that don’t materialize but still sometimes thrill.
To my surprise it’s so much less:
It’s being known.
To lose that
Is reason
To try


  1. what a powerful post. i agree 100% with this. i am who i am now and love me or don't bother (which means I am often alone, but prefer it that way).I still have a hubby who understands me very little and kids who often think I am nuts...but that's okay!!! I just wanna 'BE' now, and I love myself for just 'being'! Thanks for this and I am so glad we have 'found' each other again here in bloggyland. and i love mr drew, keep those pics coming gran!

  2. You know kj I'm still not quite 'there' I still care too much what ohers think but I am getting more comfortable in my own skin so kudos to you.

  3. soulbrush, from my view, you are 100% who you are! you have a fire that reaches out and connects--it's why i always enjoy seeing your avatar.

    oh baino, i know. you could be me who can find herself so vulnerable or i could be you who has figured out how to brace yourself, but you know what? we are both living real and doing our best. we both love to laugh and neither of us wants to pass up life's adventures. we are kind. that's enough. whenever i see a comment on your blog that is too direct or may hurt your feelings (rarely of course) i want to protect you. that is because you are so honest and sweet and sensitive, and people "get" who you really are. i love your own skin! :) plus xoxo

  4. being the same on the outside as you are on the inside. i still find this a struggle. esp when angry at which times i often just let the anger be inside me and don't let the person/place or situation know i am upset. sometimes this is good, sometimes not. as sometimes it is a betrayal of self. other times, i know the anger is but a fleeting emotion which will change soon and to lash out would cause harm to another whereas the anger part, the reaction, is about me and my own thoughts and self.

    i dont think, for me, it is an easy black and white either or situation but more a both and situation.

    thought provoking post and poem. thanks.

  5. Sometimes I'm in shock that the years have piled up and I'm now this age. And that I survived beyond the smaller pile when I reached 25.
    Most people 'get me.'
    The problem is I don't get myself sometimes. I'm uncomfortable with the kudos and compliments.
    There's nothing like sharing your whole self though and trusting someone enough with all that info.
    An entire person is a lot to process.
    One thing I do know about myself these days though is that I'm genuine. What you see is what you get~take it or leave it. And I've learned to like who I've become and that was HUGE for me. Huge.
    Well, let me clarify that. I like the inner person. My physical image and I are still battling!

    Have a sweet saturday my friend. We'll talk later ;)


  6. suki, as long as I (emphasize "I")know i'm the same in and out, i don't think it matters so much how i share or don't share that. i certainly don't open my raincoat to most people and put myself out there, vulnerabilities and all. but the one or two people who i do choose to be that real with, well, i'm pretty grateful they care to know me. xoxo

    lo, yup, i know what you mean. i'm not sure i ever share my WHOLE self all at once and sometimes never, and i don't feel i need to. we are who we are. you are a kind, creative, smart, wonderful woman. so you're not perfect. same with me and baino and soulbrush and suki. but still, i'm thankful for the times when a special moment or a special person just walks on in and you just f---- KNOW you're understood! and when it's mutual: that's jsut wonderful!!! xoxoxo

  7. jeez, i write heavy stuff sometimes, don't i?


  8. We are all made up of many "things". I choose to project myself mainly through my appearance and my art. I'm a visual person, quiet and an observer. - From your description I see you as... "Donkey" from Shrek! (giggle)

    Not everyone has to know me. In real life it takes me a long time to get to know a person or to let them know me. I don't need many friends, only a few good ones. I have to make sure they are worth my time and effort.

    Online for some pairs of people there is a connect through shared interests and perhaps a sixth sense. A mental connection (intuition?) which dares one to take a step and look closer. To read deeper between the lines of the blog posts and "get" the person.

    Oh... I should be painting! Right? Later.

  9. donkey from shrek?? okay, chewy, you are in big trouble!


  10. kj of course you are brilliant.

    It is important to be known. And to accept oneself is even more important.

    As to my bunny rabbit, I think Ms. Emily Rabbit would appreciate her more. All rabbits come in all shapes and sizes.

    Even eyes that are very wide apart.

    I see Mr. Drew.

    Happy Easter.

    Love Renee xoxo

  11. Awesome, KJ ... I'm getting more comfortable in my own skin and you've helped. Thank you for sharing this with us! I love your 13's, too, and it was fun to read another one this week. :) Your bumper sticker rocks! I used to have one on my Jeep that said, "God bless the whole world, no exceptions." Have a beautiful weekend. xo

  12. You are right... it is better to be true to our own self.
    I don't think you need to change since you are such a good person!

  13. renee, emily told me she thinks you rock! she said if she could have sent you your very own colored rabbit pellets, she would have. and she wishes you a wonderful Easter, and many more after that.

    melissa, 'god bless the whole world, no exceptions'. i love that! happy easter to you and eli and my favorite little girls. please tell charlotte to try the magic wand again. xoxox

    sidney, (blush) you and i are our own mutual admiration society. and i like it that way! xo

  14. "Stubborn" pictured an um... ass... (excuse me) or mule/donkey in my mind... and he was brave at some times and he is fun... right? Most of all he is a loyal friend... only problem is that Donkey drives Shrek crazy. hmm? I'll have to think on that one.