I don't know why. I'm in spot where much is happening though not so obvious to the eye. For one thing, I am changing/reconfiguring/decreasing/leaving/re-evaluating my work. I am staring hard into the eyes of practicality and money and insisting that they and I look at now, and a year from now: so what if it's at the expense of life at ninety?
Also, my Mother has had a small stroke. She leans to the left and is weak. For a number of days her green eyes, those eyes I will always see and love, seemed vacant, to varying degrees. (My Mother is now 97. She has broken her hip, her shoulder, her arm and her finger, all separately. She was in bed honestly dying for three months last winter. So I and everyone who knows her is not counting her out. ) What I am doing is treasuring this remarkable woman I have come to know, adult to adult, daughter to Mother.
And JB had a big round number birthday this week. I made her a cake, we took the day off and went to lunch and then to see Argo at an afternoon matinee. We had plans to spend Friday night in Boston at the Elliot Hotel but instead we have stacked firewood on the porch and are watching a blizzard unfold that is predicted to drop 12-24 inches of snow. Two feet is alot of snow.
We are not in Boston going to museums and acting sophisticated. Instead, we are home quietly and consistently eating birthday cake. :^)
Soon I am going to do a post on this poster.
One definite thing about predicted snow storms in New England is that people (over) prepare. We have flashlights and candles and batteries and food. I spent the morning casually and happily cooking. I made spaghetti sauce, my Father's recipe. I'm making beef stew in the crock pot. I may bake bread.
Like a Senior Squirrel Girl Scout, I want to be prepared if we lose our electrical power. Food. Fireplace. Light. I remember my parents planning for storms like this when I was a little girl. I remember how great it felt to lose power and glow in the dark. I remember I had a pretty happy childhood.
Here he is: Mr. Chase. He is getting abit softer. However, he howls in the middle of the night (like a wolf), he will not pee no way on a leash, he declines to come when he's called. And his seizure medications are too expensive.
That said, I'm glad for him. Today he we took him into Look Park as some serious snow and little wind gusts hit us. It was entirely new for him. He had on his fleece overcoat that greyhounds need in winter because their skin is thinner than a baby's. He liked it.
Chase is not always this relaxed. We think sometimes he has baby seizures and then his face is tighter. But all in all I think he is going to have a good life here.
Hmmm, now who is this?
the little speck of a yellow house is mine
JB and I are settled home until this blizzard ends sometime tomorrow night. I might get up at 3 am tonight just to see the height of the wind and drifts.
I am now finished with this post and I've ended up not writing about the whirlwind of my life currently. Instead, I've focused on a snapshot of a day or two, with good reasons to be thankful. I am thankful. But don't go thinking I'm at the place of peace where I want to be, and I want to stay, because I'm not there.