Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Animal Wednesday: Emily's Great Idea


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Hello everyone, it's me, Emily. Everyone knows that rabbits do not have their own charge cards, right? So it would definitely not be my fault if I had to use kj's charge card for something very important, right? Okay so I didn't ask her but that was because she would say no and then I would have to be double or triple sneaky to use it anyway so I thought just doing it was better for both of us to do it my way; don't you think that's right?
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Anyway, it's not my fault that kj is still not over the Newslettter for the Rosie Fan Club even though that happened years ago. I charged each person who signed up $10 for a whole year of doggie newsletters but Rosie was supposed to write it and I think mail it too and she did nothing so when the police got involved I was blamed totally and kj even said that I should not have expected Rosie to do anything because she is (was) a dog who was not interested in money or writing, just swimming and kissing. I was very upset because I almost got sued and I am sorry to admit that kj did not feel one bit sorry for me, can you even believe that?
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It's a good thing rabbits do not hold grudges or hold on to the past so I am moving forward and if I have to sneak alittle until my new idea is a huge success I think this is okay, right?
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TADA! I am starting a special garden in kj's yard. I got the idea from the newspaper story about chocolate. But then I thought, why stick with just chocolate? You should know by now that JellyBean Therapy works and I think so does Lollipop Counseling. And of course everybunny knows that carrots are good for your health and also help you get in trouble without feeling guilty afterwards.
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So TADA!!!!! Here is what I will be planting:
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First, this is the chocolate part:
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Then the lollipops, and I already have some that have starting growing thanks to the ones Sonia sent kj and me which I have taken for myself and let's hope kj doesn't make a scene about it:

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And then the Jellies, which I won't be surprised if they will be the big seller, and someone who I am not supposed to name but it starts with "Auntie" and the next word starts with "M" I think is going to help me set up a JellyBean Stand.
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And finally, can you believe I even found these seeds???!!
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If you think I may be biting off more than a little rabbit can chew, I am going to whisper to you right now that I am also being helped by a secret friend who also has very good ideas and we are not letting kj know who she is until we have both made a lot of money from this. (Here's a hint: her name is 3 syllables and they all rhyme with each other). (oh, and the first letter is 'L'.)

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I will keep you informed how I am doing once the seeds arrive and I start planting. In the meantime, if you need any help, don't forget to whine and yell from your stomach, not to mention roll down some hills too.

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Sincerely

Emily Rabbit

Monday, March 29, 2010

Trouble Ahead

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This morning I discovered an
unauthorized charge on my credit card.
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Shortly after that I found

a patch of my back yard dug up.
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I didn't put the two together

until the credit card company called me back.
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I am bracing myself for trouble ahead.
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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Bullets


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I have a job at first I thought I was too old for, and I actually might be, because it requires driving and parking and walking and visiting clients in some parts of a poor inner city where violence can spark.
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It's been two years since I became a psychotherapist in a community mental health center. There are offices to use, but most of what I do is see clients and sometimes their families in their homes.
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At first I was nervous about going to the low income projects. There is one I won't go into again. Then I was careful around Mason Square, where I'm told gunshots sometimes come out at night. And I have learned some things that surprise and even bowl me over: what to do if a client grabs my hair, how to figure your exit in advance if a quick exit became necessary.
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All of this has proved to be pretty innocuous. I'm not saying I don't have to be aware and street-wise, but generally I am comfortable and most people I see smile and I smile back. Once when I stopped to use the bathroom in McDonalds a middle aged black man told me he would stand outside the door until I came out--no problem, he said.
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Another time a woman stared at me and said, "You're not from around here, are you?", and I leaned over and grinned, "Why do you say that?" I asked her. "You don't look like everybody else." I can't believe I hadn't thought about it. I looked around and sure enough, there were black faces and Hispanic faces, and my white face.
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So where am I going with this? Well, I work all over the city and there are parts that are treelined with single family or duplex houses and some have two parent families, well maintained yards. I tend to see clients there at the end of the day because the street is safe and I can stretch the dark a little longer.
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Well. So much for that. Two weeks ago there were three bullet holes on the front porch, a drive-by shooting at 2 am. No one was hurt, but my 18 year old client had left the living room only ten minutes before the bullets.
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And one of the bullets happened to come through the living room wall not more than eight inches from the couch where I sit every Tuesday at 5:00 pm. It richoceted off the woodwork and into the side wall, probably two feet above my head.
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Ironic, huh? There is no reason for me to change anything, really. Sometimes I'm part of the drama: that' part of the work and I love the work. So many of my clients worry about their neighborhoods and potential violence and my risk is far less than theirs, even if it's far more than if I were doing a different kind of job. For me, I feel reasonably safe, I feel reasonably confident about my judgement, and it's another reminder that you can't get too comfortable with assumptions. Trust in God but tie up your camel. I've always liked hearing that.
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It's Renee's Birthday tomorrow (Sunday). Just a year ago I was writing to her and falling in love with her wild and wonderful ways as if I had known her for years, not for barely two months.
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I am positive Renee, even if she has been required to become somewhat holier, will like this birthday cake. I wish I knew what she would say. I miss her fantastic comments so much.
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I am completely in love with this wonderful watercolor by Caroline Soer and I can so easily see it as the blog header, and perhaps the cover, for Renee's Book of Love. I look at this and I think of Renee, of wings and flight, ascending from plane to another, free, strong, beautiful. Caroline has said yes, and offered another--a gorgeous meadow with wild yellow flowers. But I keep coming back to this one....
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One last thing: the Sex Survey. I don't know how I am going to shake up the questions and not repeat last year's, but I will try. If you haven't yet read last year's first annual sex survey, I can't help but direct you there because really truly it is hilarious. I think even if you are uncomfortable with the subject matter or the details, you will find yourself really laughing. I was laughing non stop by myself last night. It started with Renee and never stopped.

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kj

Friday, March 26, 2010

A Mish of a Mash

For someone who promised herself that her blog will always and only remain voluntary and not obligatory, keeping up with posts and comments after a week in Aruba and then a week of off-and-on being sick has been a challenge: not because of guilt, but because I MISS my friends and visitors.
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This morning I finally have time to write and linger. And I have time to hold in my hands memories and gifts that are the wind for my sails, even when I've lost my map and my compass.
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This morning, please join me:
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Mim, Marianne, Soulbrush. I have never offered an ATC and I give each of them so little--hopefully an honest or silly word here and there and certainly the sincere hand of friendship--but in return I am the recipient of the happiest mailbox in town. I don't say'thank you' enough. THANK YOU so much! I love every stroke!

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JB and I have gotten in habit of hanging our favorite cards and memories on our front door. Renee's Christmas card was there for the longest time, her silly happy goose, and maybe I will return it to the front door and keep it there all year. I miss Renee as much as I thought I would.

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. My friend Ms. Sonia Rodriquez decided to send me her handmade and heart filled presents without notice and for no good reason. Awww Sonia. What shall I keep in this box? Letters and cards? Jewelry? Jellybeans?

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Emily Plush arrived this week from Pam of Yoborobo and she has promptly gone to work with JB. She is made of the soft fleece personified and honest to God, what have you done, Pam, that it is impossible to look at her without smiling?
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I also spread my weary body on the couch one night this week and read one of Pam's childrens' book, called The Last Burp of Mac McGerp. Anyone who knows me knows I shrivel at hearing the details of bodily functions, burps included. But this wonderful little book was totally compelling. I read it until I finished it, and I loved it.
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My friend Caroline. I adore her watercolors. I think of Renee when I look at this painting she called Blur. How free and strong, her expert paint strokes, those angel wings....
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My Jessica caught the sunset in Aruba, which I utterly failed to do because I was too busy hightailing it to the Casino. I love those slot machines. I didn't win, but I really didn't lose either, and to slot machine aficionados, not losing is actually winning.
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Jess, Mike, and Mr. Ryan. I love seeing my family together and happy. If they're not I'm not. Any species of Parent totally understands that.
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I've been blessed with a special friend, one that I hope to have and hold for a lifetime. You may know her: her name is Laurel Gaylord and her moniker is Studio Lolo. She's a great listener, a prolific artist, an impish and clever and compassionate and fun-loving friend. But if you are reading this perhaps many many of you know this already?

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I can't resist posting my kj Angel again. It was a Christmas present from Angela Recada--this one and another. I was overtaken by her kindness then and even now I look at this with such joy. Look at her wings. Isn't she just beautiful?
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And finally:
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It's time for kj Babe's SECOND Annual Sex Survey.
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Should I?
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Should I?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit & the Power of the Purr


This is Uncle Kitty. He has a little rip in his left ear because he gets in fights but not because he starts them. He lives behind the Magic Cottage in kj's yard and when he visits sometimes he rushes by and sometimes he stays awhile but no matter what he purrs and JB always relaxes when he does and she might give him milk and little pieces of tuna fish but sometimes she doesn't give him anything because she is already in bed and the purrrrr puts her to sleep.
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A lot of times Uncle Kitty, who is related to Mr. Kitty but I don't know exactly how, shows up late at night and purrs. If you think this sounds weird I agree with you but I have never said that to JB because why tell someone they are weird if what they are doing relaxes them and then they are more likely to be nice to you and maybe even take you shopping?
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So anyway, did you know that purring is very healthy? How many cats do you know with orthopedic problems? They usually don't have problems with their hips or ligaments or bone cancer and they don't have arthritis like Stella does and even kj does but of course I don't because I am too young but still, most animals and people get stiff but cats don't.
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If you are wondering why I am telling you this, it's because this scientist studied something called bioacoustics which is about animal sounds, like their pitch and frequencies and loudness and duration and guess what?!
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Purring can heal people and animals just by the sound of it. I am not going to tell you about the Hertz frequency ranges that create this healing because who cares unless you do and then if you do you can research it yourself, right?
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And I'm not just talking about cats purring either, but also cheetahs, pumas, even lions and tigers. And I think--this is just my opinion but you know I can be very smart sometimes--I think even if you purr to yourself it can help calm you down. Okay, maybe this is not as good as kicking your feet in the air and crying BOOHOOHOO from your stomach, but why not try a little purrrr here and there?
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There is some fancy research that says that cats can sympathetically help cure illnesses in people (and I think in rabbits too) simply by being around them because the purring can lower blood pressure and eliminate headaches and even vets say "if you put a cat and a bunch of broken bones in the same room, the bones will heal."
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So I called my Uncle Bunny who owns that pellet business in Cleveland and I told him he should talk to Uncle Kitty because maybe they could start a purrrrring business and if they did I would get a bonus for coming up with the idea and then I might even do kj's blog for $ 8 instead of $10 because I wouldn't need the extra money so much and kj and maybe other people too would think isn't that nice of me and I would like all the nice attention from it.
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I think when you go to bed tonight you should include a purr. Maybe you have a cat or a cheetah already so that would solve that, or maybe you have a family member or friend who would purr to you but if you don't why don't you just purr to yourself and see what happens?
I am not charging for any of this advice this one time.
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Sincerely
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Emily Rabbit

Sunday, March 21, 2010

More More Novel in a Paragraph

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A word of explanation: I am writing a novel where short snippets will hopefully tell a story all by themselves but will also combine with other short snippets to reveal a deeper story. Here in my blog, perhaps once a week, I will share a few snippets, but in no sequence or logical order. That part comes much later.
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Magic
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Undercover until her deficits were pushed to the brink, at some unknown point Casey had been abandoned to the point that she had learned how to reconfigure reality, to sculpt, to cling, to redesign things more to her liking. She was very good at not taking no for an answer, very skilled at good naturedly making things happen. But she could not decipher the rules that governed Catherine’s social and moral code. With Catherine she was uncharacteristically patient, tolerant, even subservient. That was Casey’s failing and fault and she did not understand this was a weakness until it was far too late to resuscitate herself or the complicated bond that was Casey and Catherine. As the months passed without Catherine, Casey regretted that she did not protect Catherine’s closet values and homophobic fears. And no matter how often she tried to bathe in the well of acceptance for either of them, she was unable to wash herself clean.
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Charm School
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Catherine hated weakness. And she was not one to temper either her emotions or opinions. So it was not surprising that Casey felt her withdrawal so fiercely it was as though ice had been poured on warm sheets. Her voice was abruptly different: cold, flat, unaffected. She continued to call Casey; for three weeks or so, she called every day, making no reference to the fact that Casey was no longer calling her, but their conversations were short, perfunctory. This continued through September and by October, and into November, when the calls had stopped altogether, until one day Catherine called and the softness was back. “I need my best friend,” she said. “Are you still my best friend?”

Talking to the Divine


Talking to paper is talking to the divine. It is talking to an ear that will understand even the most difficult things. Paper is infinitely patient. It will receive small fragment after fragment of the large network you are working on, without yourself knowing it. It will wait for decades for you to put together the first traces of your own code, a code you might have understood as a small child, but which you are now gathering on a new level of understanding. The white paper is waiting. Each time you scratch on it, you trace part of yourself and thus part of the word, and thus part of the grammar of the universe. It is a huge language but each of us tracks his or her particular understanding of it. Nina Holzer, A Walk Between Heaven and Earth.
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Most of us are on this path. I think about my twinkly twin Angela Recada picking up her paints and brushes and uncovering angels and textures that have been waiting for her all this time.
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And Silke, who is so excited to know she is indeed an artist, whose women are so excited to be seen and heard.
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And my friend Walking Man Mark and my beloved Human Being, whose poetry is so prolific and so beautifully honest and well crafted.
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And Robin, who has just and finally started a blog of her own.
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And Soulbrush, who was told her art was not good enough; Mim's Aunt Em, who you cannot look at without breaking into a hopeful grin; my dearest Lori, whose photographs light up the world she lives in and invite us along; the elegant Tessa who paints and writes under African skies; Caroline who paints those heavenbound watercolors; Marion and Baino and Annie and Linda and Ribbon and Deborah and Snowbrush and Marianne and the wonderful Lo, each whose colors and words sing on the page and whose joy breaks through the computer keys.
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This weekend I met with four other women who are writing memoirs at the same time I am. We meet every six weeks after completing thirty pages at a time, after reading each other's thirty pages ready to help one another discover, uncover, honor the truth of transformation. We are blessed with an incredible writing instructor named Nancy Rose. She is teaching me how to write at a level that excites me to no end.
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I have creative wonderful people all around me now. I don't know how it happened, but I can barely contain my giddiness. I know I am not alone in feeling this way, in thanking my lucky stars.
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Congratulations to all of us. We are sharing with one another. And we are talking to the divine.
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Love
kj

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Renee's Book of Love

Lovingly designed by Renee's Raven Sister Laurel Gaylord/Studio Lolo
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In time we are going to put together and distribute Renee's Book of Love.
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We are going to do this for ourselves and for Renee's Family.
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It is going to consist of special blog posts, letters, and stories
about the love and relationships Renee offered to so many of us.
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Please add this wonderful image on your sidebar.
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And please use it to spread the word.
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So far we have about twenty contributors.
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I won't be surprised if we have 100.
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I will soon add a running list of contributors on my sidebar:
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purple means I've received your material
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and red means I know it's coming.
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Renee has so many friends.
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Please do not assume they know about the book.
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Write a post, send emails, please let anyone you can think of know what we are doing.
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There is still no rush.
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Do you like this, idea, Renee?
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Didn't Laurel do a great job on this design?
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You are so missed and so loved.
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Love always
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Your Devoted, Loving & Funfilled Friends.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Aruba Part 2: Blue

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Family, Friends, Food & Time.
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Breezes, Teases, Cool Water with Lime.
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Floats, Boats, Hopes, and No Coats
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Every So Often: Just the Right Note.
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Love
kj
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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Renee & YOU


It's been a long week since our beloved Renee got her official Senior Angel wings. It's not the same without her, and yet thankfully she is free of pain.
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I've been fascinated by the number of truly special relationships Renee had among her blog friends. It strikes me that each one was uniquely different--some informative, some playful, some supportive, some spiritual--and that has given me an idea for how we can come together to honor her and help her family and ourselves.

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I know many of us want to somehow reach out, express our grief , our caring, our love for Renee and her family. For myself, I've found comfort in reading about WHAT she did and HOW she managed to connect so privately with so many, how she managed to reach right into all our hearts and take permanent residence there.

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I believe Renee had a special ability to figure out what essentially mattered to each of us and try her best to support that. Every time I hear how she has helped someone or changed their life in some way, I feel closer to her and it makes me even prouder to call her Friend.
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So I'm thinking: what if we put together a collective "book" that consists of our stories about our relationships with Renee? The more specific, the better. For example, what did Renee offer you? How did she let you know how much you mattered to her?

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Did she rave about your art or poems or personal courage? Help you with resources? Restore your hope? Teach you about treatment alternatives? Encourage you to find your voice? Play with you in a special fantasy? Send you words or gifts or healing thoughts that made a difference?

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I am inviting anyone, everyone who wants to and can to write and share your own story about your relationship with Renee, and I will try to organize the steps needed to create a chapbook for her family and anyone who wants a copy. I hope this could be a treasure, a comfort to keep forever.
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I am not sure how to incorporate graphics, artwork, images, both in terms of size and cost. But that will come later, as our project unfolds. For now, you may leave your story and images here on my blog and I will copy it into a collective book, or email it to me at karenjasper@ comcast.net, or you may leave a comment here directing me (and others) to your blog, and I will copy-paste from there.

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I own a very tiny publishing company that has published one book--my own--so I know alittle something about how to put a collection together. If it turns out to be a chapbook (e.g. 16 or 32 pages, folded in half, and stapled to bind it together), I think I can handle that myself.

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If the response is great, and it becomes clear we are taking about something more substantial, I will outline our options and arrange the help needed to move from text and layout to a finished book of some kind. If needed I may ask for a contribution of $ 5 or so from anyone who can help. But, again, that will come later.

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Now the first step is to write about and share what Renee meant to you and why, perhaps how you came to know her, how she touched you. And of course what you wanted to give back to her. (Renee told me her blog friends were her three pack a day habit: one she would never want to give up. If you do not know with certainty how much you meant to her, let me assure you the last year of her life was made purposeful and fun and wonderful and tolerable because of YOU).

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The second step is to spread the word. Please feel free to mention this on your blog, and contact friends and followers of Renee's who would not know of this idea otherwise.

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You can leave your story via a comment on any of my posts, or you can email me. In a couple of weeks, I'll let everyone know how this idea is unfolding. There is no pressure to rush your contriubtion. This will take some time to pull together, so when you can, just let me know whether and when you will be submitting something. Please try to limit your words to a page or less, to 1 or 2 or 3 paragraphs.

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Feel free to wash us all in the gratitude and humor and kindness and love that is Renee. We have experienced a true angel in our lifetime. I have a feeling our sharing with one another will do us all a world of good. And I know this will be another We-Treasure-You for Renee's Wahid, their children, grandchildren, sisters and brothers and friends near and far.

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Love
kj

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit in InAruba

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Hello everyone, it's me, Emily. I have been visiting InAruba for a week, having fun in the sun and making some money on the side, which I will tell you about but first I'm sure you will be very disappointed to know that I was NOT invited on the trip and had to sneak my way by hiding in kj's suitcase.
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It was the middle of the night when kj and JB left for the airport so I was not discovered until kj took off her shoes and was going through that big machine and by then when she saw me she gave me a terrible look but she didn't say anything until we got on the plane, and then she told me I would be punished for a year but I took my chances that she would forget and sooner or later relax, which fortunately for me she did.
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For the first couple of days I relaxed by the pool which was very nice and I managed to nibble on extra carrots and celery from the bloody marys and once I ate Mr. Ryan's bagel when he wasn't looking. But then I got the idea that I would socialize so I started wandering around and maybe I could locate some jellybeans or find a way to make some money.
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I got the idea that I would interview some interesting inhabitants on the island and then maybe I could make a movie and sell it to a Hollywood agent who would market it something like "Visiting Very Smart and Interesting Rabbit Makes Local Movie".
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First I asked the owner of a little restaurant why he thought anyone would care about rude fish. He looked at me like I was crazy until I showed him this sign and I told him that I thought he would make more money if he advertised polite fish instead of fresh fish. I thought he might pay me for the advice but instead he just laughed, although he did give me one celery stick and three pretzels.
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Next I interviewed a bird who had very unique eye makeup and I asked if she was interested in giving beauty lessons but I was surprised to find out she was a he bird and he was already doing that for the gay-straight feather alliance in InAruba. I was invited to a meeting but Donatella (her name) told me I would be the only rabbit and why did I want to go if everyone would be chirping and clucking and cooing and I wouldn't even understand most of what they were saying?
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I also met two iguanas and one was nice and one wasn't.
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The first one was named Isabella Iguana and really needed a manicure but I didn't say anything because at first I didn't know she was nice and those nails looked very scary to me. It turned out
she came in first three years in a row at the annual lettuce eating contest sponsored by one of the hotels and Isabella said it was because her nails were so long she could scoop up the lettuce faster than anyone else. She also had a very long tongue but I don't think there is any award for that in InAruba but you never know; maybe someday she could find a way to show off that tongue somehow, right?
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The other iguana was named Rusty and he was a big grouch. He told me he wouldn't even bother to talk to me unless I climbed up a tree with him and normally I wouldn't mind climbing up a tree because after all I've done that many times with my friend Gregory Squirrel but I was afraid this Rusty guy might push me down for no good reason and then where would I be, so I said no and he said 'then get lost'. Hmmmpf. Very rude, don't you think?
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It serves him right that his nails are not as long as Isabella's and never will be. I don't know or care about his tongue.
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Finally I decided to teach Mr. Ryan how to pick up an iguana by the tail but it didn't work at all because Mr. Ryan started crying as soon as the iguana starting squirming and threatened him if he didn't let go immediately. It was not my fault that Mr. Ryan cried or that the iguana said several swears including the F one before he huffed away.

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Oh, one more thing. You probably know that kj brought her colored pencils with her to InAruba, so one morning I borrowed them while she was busy bouncing on her rubber tube in that lazy river.

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And guess what?! Some woman with a big straw hat bought my drawing for $ 5!!!!!!!!!! She told me she had been thinking about how to roll for a long time, since her second husband walked out on her and when she said that I offered to teach her how to roll down a hill and cry from her stomach at the same time, which we all know is a very helpful thing to do, and guess what else?????? She paid me another $ 5 for lessons and actually I earned the money because I had to give her a push two times and one time she almost rolled on top of me.

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Anyway, these were some of my highlights inAruba. I had a nice time and kj relaxed enough that she shared her cookies with me on the plane ride home.
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Have a nice week. Maybe you should practice your own rolling?
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Sincerely yours,
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Emily Rabbit