Hello everyone, it's me, Emily. You are looking at my new business! I'm going to call it the Mean & Green Shooter Company and I know you are going to be impressed when I tell you the details, which I haven't discussed yet with my business manager Jos but I am I am sure she is going to be really excited because I think we are both going to be very rich, which for me means all the jellybeans I will ever want in my whole life.
As you hopefully know I think it is very healthy and sometimes essential that you throw something as hard as you can when someone hurts your feelings or is mean to you or even when you are sad. If the situation is medium serious you should throw frozen peas and if it is really really serious, you can also through frozen brussel sprouts.
But now: I am introducing frozen avocados!! They fit perfectly in your hand and their shape makes them travel like a small rocket if you need to really really really make a point with someone who deserves it, or even if you just want to get mad or sad by yourself and throw frozen avocados at the back of someone's garage.
I know what you're thinking. Frozen avocados are a dime a dozen and why buy them from me and Jos if you can just go to the grocery store and get them there?
HA! This is where the Mean & Green comes in! The Mean & Green Shooter company includes a SLINGSHOT and you will be able to recycle the avocado pit after you are done throwing the frozen avocado and pull out the pit and you won't believe how far it will travel when you shoot it with the slingshot. If you need to see an example here is one I drew myself:
I have to admit that I got the idea of the pit and the slingshot from Anne and kj says that it is really her idea so I will need to pay her some percentage of the profits.
Imagine how easily you can bop someone on the head with an avocado pit and you'll be far enough away that you won't even get caught, but you have to remember to hide the slingshot because that might give it away.
Even kj says she can think of at least three people she would aim the avocado pit at.
Are you really really impressed?
But I still have a few things to think about:
1. How much do I have to pay Anne for her slingshot idea?
2. Do I need to worry about getting sued?
3. Is it a problem that the average avocado will thaw within an hour?
4. Is it a good idea to include examples of when you should use the Mean and Green Shooter?
5. How much can I charge for two avocados and one slingshot?
My Uncle Bunny, who don't forget was Janis Joplin's road manager, is going to be very proud of me, don't you think so?
I may give a discount to certain people....
Most Sincerely, Emily V.V. Rabbit, Proprietor