Thursday, October 13, 2011

Animal Wednesday & Emily Rabbit: See For Yourself

Dear Ms. Rabbit:

You are in violation of General Law No. 207-334-27-331. Possession of sling shots in the state of Massachusetts is punishable by a minimum of thirty days of community service and the selling of sling shots is punishable by that plus a very large fine. You are ordered to cease and desist immediately.

Officially, O. W. Stopnow

Dear General Whirl and Ms. Emily Rabbit:

The United States and England do not have a trade agreement that will allow the General to serve as business manager to the Green & Mean Shooter Company unless you are able to produce evidence that this business will serve the common good. Relief of stress, anxiety, worry, resentment, and retribution will qualify.

Sincerely, The United Nations

Dear Emily Rabbit:

You are hereby ordered to produce the full name and address of one said "Anne" for her solicitation and endorsement of the use of liquid nitrogen. We have checked our records and she does not have a permit for that.

Sincerely, The Department of Homeland Security

Dear General Whirl:

We are fascinated that you are managing the business affairs of a young rabbit, especially with your background as a Commissioned Officer. We think this is worthy of a feature story. Please contact us.

Sincerely, Esquire Magazine

Dear Ms. Graham:

Your name has been given as a possible poster of bail for one Emily V. V Rabbit who was taken into custody on Sunday last for removing a case of very expensive wine without payment from a local establishment and soliciting that wine for the purpose of purchasing avocados in bulk. Please be aware that there are additional damage charges due to Ms. Rabbit's unprovoked temper tantrum while resisting arrest. Sincerely, Your Carpinteria Police Chief

Dear Hospital Adminstrator:

As a concerned citizen and volunteer, I noticed an ususual number of emergency room admissions this week due to head bumps as well as several other body part bumps and/or lumps. Is there a public safety issue that is being kept from the public?

Sincerely, Prissy Lamont


  1. Oh, dear Emily!
    Hardly a marvellous week for any one connected to your enterprise. I am so so very sad to learn of all the misadventures that you and others have experienced.
    Perhaps you should have come to Canada and taken shelter in my den when you started advertising your products. Homeland Security would have a terrible time finding you. Why, even the Mounties don't know where to get me, when they head out in their bright scarlet coats.
    Blessings and (kindly, gentle) Bear hugs.

  2. Oh dear Emily!

    I know how you must feel. Sometimes a week is just full of setbacks.
    If that is the way the US is treating young entrepreneurs how will your economy get that new boost it is waiting for?
    I think you really needs some good staff. First of all a company lawyer and a personal assistant. Too bad I am living so far away.....I could have applied for the second one.
    Well you just don't give up dear.
    All things are difficult at first. Just surround yourself with the right people first.
    I hope you are bailed out by the time you read this.

    ♥your best friend

  3. (prissy lamont? Really?)

    I knew there would be trouble over this - I just knew it!

    I forgot it was Wednesday. Oh well.....

  4. Emily Emily Emily. I knew this would happen.
    Christian T-Shirts

  5. HEY!
    Homeland Security can take a hike. I'm an Officer's Wife and I am gassed with all sorts of noxious substances every time I have to visit the Air Base!
    Furthermore, I caught the NSA going through my computer and called and reamed them out, so WHY should I be concerned about this?
    (no joke---that really did happen...)
    Emily, come to Indiana.
    We have no laws here and the people don't even know what the hell avocados are.


    P.S. good shooting..... >:-)

  6. ha. it's all hearsay. i know nothing of very expensive(delicious) wine. and avocados disappear all the time around here.


  7. You are so clever dearest!
    ps be assured that there's a hideout waiting here in Australia anytime...think you'd fit right in...

  8. Well, I just love the header! It makes me happy just to look at it! Emily is so damn cute!

  9. Oh, I don't know which is more clever, the post or the comments!
    Not to mention very funny.

    Good job, all!

  10. mr. rob-bear: please reserve me a room. i will need jellybeans and extra radishes in case i have to hide out for a long time. i cannot tell you where i am writing this from. i might be on the run.

    marianne bf, i have jos, marianne and a personal assistant will be great but first i have to straighten out all this legal stuff i certainly don't deserve. thank you for agreeing with me; i am just trying to take care of my jellybeans and what the heck are all these letters? and where is lori?

    but mim, what is life without trouble, right?

    christian woman, you knew?! who are you, how do you know me? do you want to do some teeshirts together, with avocados on the front of them?

    lori! lori! yes! yes! but i'm not sure what to do next. i snuck out during exercise class at the county jail. but now what? should i head to canada? or maybe i should stay with you but would owen bite me? and can you imagine the authorities are trying to shut down my business? WAAAAAAA!

    emily r.

  11. anne, i agree completely with you and i will get kj and lori and marianne and jos to take up arms and avocados and take our freedom back if you get arrested.

    chrisy, that is very kind of you and thank you very much. do you think frozen avocados will sell in australia?

    dear ms wine and words, thank you for saying i am cute and it's all true even when i have to look innocent

    babs, but babs, i am too young to get arrested again, don't you think? i had to escape. maybe i should head for oklahoma? or texas? or canada or australia or under lori's couch?

    yours truly

  12. Fear not, dear Emily. You are always welcome here.
    I'm a bit short on radishes, but have an abundant supply of carrots and lettuce. Will those do?
    And just down the path and over the road, a jelly bean factory. I learned how to raid it years ago. We could have such fun doing that. The guard doesn't have a gun!

  13. Dear Emily,

    Come visit me in NY - your idea could "take flight" here (pun intended, of course)!

    According to section 265.01, slingshots are okay here (as long as they don't have a wrist strap)...


    p.s. Please ask k.j. if that carrot photo is for real (Oh how I hope it is)!

  14. Well, Emily ... this scenario is just becoming sooo complicated. If I were you I would drink the wine, to hell with the Avocados - ditch em - in Malaysia you could bribe everyone with Durians - they smell so bad you'd be able to get away with anything! In the meantime keep KJ on your good side, you'll need her!

  15. ROTFLMAO.....and again and again!