Dear Ms. Rabbit:
You are in violation of General Law No. 207-334-27-331. Possession of sling shots in the state of Massachusetts is punishable by a minimum of thirty days of community service and the selling of sling shots is punishable by that plus a very large fine. You are ordered to cease and desist immediately.
Officially, O. W. Stopnow
Dear General Whirl and Ms. Emily Rabbit:
The United States and England do not have a trade agreement that will allow the General to serve as business manager to the Green & Mean Shooter Company unless you are able to produce evidence that this business will serve the common good. Relief of stress, anxiety, worry, resentment, and retribution will qualify.
Sincerely, The United Nations
Dear Emily Rabbit:
You are hereby ordered to produce the full name and address of one said "Anne" for her solicitation and endorsement of the use of liquid nitrogen. We have checked our records and she does not have a permit for that.
Sincerely, The Department of Homeland Security
Dear General Whirl:
We are fascinated that you are managing the business affairs of a young rabbit, especially with your background as a Commissioned Officer. We think this is worthy of a feature story. Please contact us.
Sincerely, Esquire Magazine
Dear Ms. Graham:
Your name has been given as a possible poster of bail for one Emily V. V Rabbit who was taken into custody on Sunday last for removing a case of very expensive wine without payment from a local establishment and soliciting that wine for the purpose of purchasing avocados in bulk. Please be aware that there are additional damage charges due to Ms. Rabbit's unprovoked temper tantrum while resisting arrest. Sincerely, Your Carpinteria Police Chief
Dear Hospital Adminstrator:
As a concerned citizen and volunteer, I noticed an ususual number of emergency room admissions this week due to head bumps as well as several other body part bumps and/or lumps. Is there a public safety issue that is being kept from the public?
Sincerely, Prissy Lamont