Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit's Exercise Program

Hello everyone, it's me, Emily. I have been very busy reacquainting with Gregory Squirrel and Muck, Truck and Fuck Duck in Provincetown. Gregory and I have been swinging through trees and one time we knocked over some sculpture that looked like a naked wrinkled man but it was just standing there below the tree and when we jumped on it, the jellybean bag I was carrying knocked off the head but really what kind of a head would roll off like that just because a jelly bean bag hit it? We hopped and ran away very fast because you may remember Gregory and I were arrested last year and kj said I would have to use the allowance i don't by the way get if I have to ever get bailed out again so I am trying to avoid that.

Anyway, what I want to write about today is exercise. Did you know that kj is working with a trainer and she is pulling and pushing these bars with her stomach and arms and legs and even toes and she keeps saying her muscles like the attention but maybe I'm not supposed to say she is doing this anyway I have some exercises that I KNOW everyone will like:

The Bunny Bop: Jump off a couch and land on both feet at the same time. The more advanced version is to jump off a couch while holding a ice cream cone with one scoop of chocolate and the super advanced version is to jump off a couch while holding an ice cream cone with two scoops of mint chocolate chip , and whatever version you do, part of the exercise is making sure nothing drips.

The Push Somebody: This is easy: you just walk in a crowd and push some one who looks mean and you use your arms or hips or legs to push but the best part of the exercise is you have to look like you aren't pushing because if it's obvious get ready to get in trouble. The person you pushed could even have you arrested.

The Boo Hoo Kick: You lie down anywhere like the floor and kick your feet in the air in all directions, BUT you have to cry from your stomach at the same time while you are BOO HOO HOO HOO BOO BOO HOO ING. This exercise is also for temper tantrums and it works very well but you have to be sure you don't kick an 8 year old cry baby who will tell her mother and get you in trouble.

This is enough to get you started, right? I hope you will not be influenced by the fact that kj has refused to do these exercises except that she did jump up not down one time with a cup of cherry garcia ice cream but that shouldn't really count because cherry garcia is not even one of the exercise ice creams even though I might be willing to consider it.
Yours truly
Emily Rabbit


  1. I will try any exercise that involves ice cream :) hee hee!

    (I also think a stroll to a shell shop with a curious little boy on a warm summer day sounds like the perfect addition to any fitness regime)


  2. hmmm...this is alot to remember, jump and push, don't knock off heads, eat the right ice cream. emily, i hope i get it right.

    can you recommend an exercise to go with chunky monkey?

  3. Whahaha, this is the Emily I like best. Pushing mean people as an exercise :-))
    KJ: I will send you an e-mail about the translation of the furcoat of my mother.

  4. I love this idea and I think that this type of exercise will really catch on! You are one smart bunny Emily! I've missed you and your brilliant ideas

  5. Well FINALLY!
    An exercise routine *I* can stick to!
    Emily, do you know my Doctor told me to ride a bike that goes nowhere? Just sit there and pedal my ass???
    Do *YOU* think that's good exercise? Because I don't.....I like the jumping off the couch with the ice cream, and I am sure I could do that at the most advanced level. :-)
    In the meantime, my exercise has included the "Holding the full coffee cup, in PJS, while taking the big push broom in the garage and beating a massive spider to oblivion" (you'd like that one, as I get to SCREAM to, and I'm wearing BUNNY-SLIPPERS!). Being beaten to pieces on the John Deere while driving and mowing at FULL SPEED, which I am NOT supposed to do....hehehe! Then there is the *Lightening Dash*. No, I'm not moving that fast; it's me running up the stairs to unplug the TV and computer before the lightening storm gets HERE. (that can be very funny to watch and I cuss a lot too...)
    I really think we could be training partners. I bet I could teach you some fun exercises with a scythe, since you lopped of the statue head with just a bag of jelly beans.
    Yep, my Lepus Friend, you have a natural knack.


    Don't let KJ know I told you all these things---she probably would not like the cussing or idea of you brandishing a scythe..... ;-D
    And if you want a poem, I'll have to write it later when I have had ALL my coffee and my brain is awake. ♥

  6. Love these exercise tips Emily!! I will start right away..or perhaps in a hour or so...well maybe next week...pushing can be very tiring as you know..thank goodness..there is Icecream.Hugs,Cat

  7. Hey Emily, you are my kind of bunny! So smart and clever.

    Have a HAW.

  8. Emilwee! I have missed you....
    I KNOW P-town is thwilled to have you running amuck with your fwiends again!

    Wuv your excercise suggestions!!!
    (And I know "KJB" is too!)


    ♥ Wrobin ♥

  9. The last time I did any exercise involving ice cream, I ate the ice cream and forgot the exercise...

    I wonder why the head fell off, if you only hit it with your jelly bean bag, Emily...is there something you might not be telling us?

    I'm glad you're back though, I have missed you. I've almost forgotten how to cry deep from the belly. I need you to remind me! xx

  10. I always thought exercise was overrated but OBVIOUSLY I was doing it WRONG!!!

    I'll try it your way Emily Rabbit but I may have to use coffee and maple walnut ice cream from Greys in Tiverton ;)

    Welcome back buns!


  11. Emily, inquiring minds want to kno,,,,who painted the header? I adore it! Was it you? Somehow I feel you have an artistic bent.

    Your exercises sound kinda,,,well, hard. I prefer the more meditative type, such as turning my left big toe in circles,then eating a mouthfull of mint chocloate chip. Repeat the toe circling with the right big toe,,,,,at least 3 complete rotations for a really good work out,,,,open another carton of mint chocolate chip.
    At this point the easy part is finished and you must continue with the paw to mouth movements until the third carton is empty. Now is when you get the big cardio benefit by smashing all the cartons with both feet. Let me know how it works out, okay?

  12. Oh goodness, here I go on another exercise (strange) program. I keep sitting at my drafting table and my butt gets bigger and bigger. The ice cream part is great.

    I am a FAILURE at red velvet cakes and cupcakes.

    What is your secret?



  13. anne! we can have our own exercise book. if you teach me how to swing that scythe, i can give you advanced lessons on whining. would you like that?
    ps anne:
    i do want a poem
    with just the right tone
    do you think we could make money
    necause we are cute and funny?

    ms. cat, there is nothing wrong with delaying. you can eat ice cream first, during, and after. that is not a problem

    thank you teri. i like the attention

    wrobin, hahaha, i am running amuck with truck, muck and fuck duck.

    emily r.

  14. ms. kristin, i can see you have your priorities straight.

    lori, i think you should just stick with pushing mean people. there is only one step to that, but no icecream. maybe could use chunky monkey by putting a trapese over your bed either just before you swing or just after you land.

    wieneke, do you need instructions on how to push?

    hello mim, thank you for being as smart as i am.

    yours truly,

  15. marion, you are so smart about the head. i am keeping quiet about it for my own protection. to cry: fall on the floor. lift your legs in the air and kick in all directions. yell BOOHOOHOOHOOBOOBOOHOO for at least three minutes, deep from your stomach. try not to stop until you get your way.

    lololo, you cannot change the icecream just like that. you have to follow the instructions or it won't work. but i will consider maple peanut ice cream if you want. (did i get the nut right?)

    babs, lololo gave kj that card and i stole it so i don't know who drew it but doesn't it look just like me? this is a very good exercise babs, i like the three cartons of ice cream and the smash at the end. do you want to write the exercise book with me and anne?
    i have a good business manager named jos too

    sharon, if your butt gets too wide, eat more ice cream and extra jellies so the rest of you can catch up. i don't know about the red velvet cake but do you know it came in a box and not from the magnolia cookbook but i'm not sure kj will tell you that so don't tell her i told you unless there is some benefit to me. thank you.

    good wishes,
    emily v.v. rabbit