Wednesday, December 29, 2010

About Love

I planned to use this drawing by Brian Andreas to talk about what matters most as the new year approaches, but I did not expect I would also be acknowledging and mourning the unimaginable loss of Tessa Edwards. Once I am able, I will include some of her incredible art here on my blog, but for now I can only say how vibrant and talented she is ( I can't say 'was'), how much her compassion and friendship will be missed.
And I cannot talk about what matters most without again asking for prayers for Allegra. She needs a miracle and I know the power of love and hope is strong here in our blogs.
So what about love? I am surprised and honestly sometimes even annoyed when I am described as all heart. It's true I feel deeply, but I know well how to think and navigate my way in the world, and I don't hand out my loyalty and caring haphazardly.
I have made mistakes in love. Who hasn't? I have failed and lost and lamented and to this day I can't understand the cause or the fault line. But as I age I know the importance of loving more, not less. Tessa has died and Allegra is critically ill. Renee is gone and my Father is gone and I know that life can change in a flash.
Honestly, at moments when you may lose it all, what's more important than love?
I cherish the people I love. There are those whose backs I have covered and I know they feel that way about me too. I can't imagine living without deeply and authentically loving them. But I've also learned that love is not just about people. It is about passion: doing good work, creating or building or learning or helping or doing for the sheer love of it.
This is something I want to never forget. No doubt at all that sometimes life is rough and unfair and confusing and demanding and uncertain and unkind. Hearts break. There will be times and choices where hope is hard and bitterness beckons. But at the stillpoint love sustains and endures.
In the new year I wish each of us some part and parcel of love: not just the receiving part, but the giving part, and the recognizing part, and the appreciation and acceptance part.
This, I wish we will not forget.


  1. oh kj.........i had just gotten to know tessa's blog and i did not know of her utterly and horribly tragic---i am aware of many, many bloggers out there who loved tessa.....she will be terribly missed

    and i am so sorry to hear of your friend allegra's illness. i will say a prayer and light a candle for her tonight.


  2. This news has taken my breath away.
    I'll come back another time for a catch up.
    love to you
    x robyn

  3. Ah KJ, large hearts do not squeeze the space taken by intellect. The two walk happily hand in hand. To know and nourish our inner child does not separate us from being the adults we are. Quite the opposite in fact.

    Only through visiting here was I guided to visit Tess's blog and find her incredible art. I am sad that she walks in another world now. I hope she meets many loved ones there.

    It rarely eases our hearts to think such thoughts in the initial stages of loss. I know that. And I know that faith in what is to come wavers in even the most stalwart of hearts. Even so ... a part of me wants to believe it and I guess we all have that wish.

    I continue to pray for Allegra. I hear she is doing a bit better. I am glad of the time zones as I pray whilst some sleep.

    Love you KJ. xx Jos

  4. I will not forget....

    So sorry for the loss of your friend, obviously someone I wish I had known. I don't know Allegra either, but certainly have whispered a prayer into the night for her.

  5. kj The best part of love is that it gives you reason to look forward with hope and backwards with kindness.

    Be Well

  6. I am sorry to hear of the death of Tessa Edwards and send prayers for Allegra.

    May your wishes for us be true for yourself too. Thank you for being you.

  7. Tessa is another one who walked this earth with reverence and grace in every moment. Her art will continue to reach out and touch people across the globe. And her generosity to her many causes will live on in the lives of those she providied water and nourishment and hope for.

    This hit me hard even though I knew her from a distance. I'm happy to have had some blog exchanges with her as well as emails, and to have shared our love of art and life.
    My heartfelt condolences go out to her family and all who loved her.

    And speaking of love, you put it so perfectly. Even if we're not involved in a relationship we still have love all around us in many forms. Just the love for life can be enough sometimes.

    And you know I'm one who has your back ;)

    Love you~

  8. Dear KJ,
    I am still stunned by the news about Tessa when we spoke yesterday.... I "met" her - thanks to you...and enjoyed the few, but meaningful exchanges we had. We shared a deep love of travel, literature and music....

    She was so gifted - in every way - and she really "lived the adventure".

    You are so right about the many ways to love - and to be loved.
    The essential element in any form of love is: passion. To believe deeply in everyone and everything you care about IS Love, IS Passion....not just romantic passion - but a passion for living - for Life. Renee had it, Tessa had it, Allegra has it - and so do you, my friend.


    ♥ Robin ♥

  9. I am in tears about Tessa. I have many pieces of her art, and just adored her.


  10. P.S. Forgot to mention how I adore the Brian Andreas drawing and the words.....

    ♥ R ♥

  11. I did not know Tessa well, but I know she was a bright spark and you can't put a spark like that out, not ever. Same with Renee, not a day goes by that I do not think of her.
    Prayers for Allegra.
    I love what dear Jos said.

  12. Well, as I think it was you who pointed out, I'm very much in love with my new kitty, Brewsky, and I'll add to that my wife, Peggy, and my old pup, Bonnie Blue Heeler.

    I loved the art that you included here, and I loved reading your pensive thought too, my dear.

  13. Sending love, love, and joy to you from cold California.


  14. Loss seems doubly difficult for everyone during this time. I've been falling back to the thought that we are all atoms made of stardust. Stardust.

    Again, I send love to you and Allegra and all her friends.


  15. My word veri is 'jounero'. May our journey(o) in this life and after be filled with love love love and light.

    I love all the words everyone has left here for Tessa, and you k.j. Love you too. This is really hard.

    Xxx Lori

  16. amanda, tessa will live through her art and her good works. thank you for your friendship & prayers xo

    robyn, i am so sorry you learned of tessa's passing here like this. i did as well through maithri's facebook, and i know full well what you mean. what a loss, robyn. i love you.

    jos, more and more and more i am thankful to walk along side you. thank you so much

    lydia, thank you friend. i will say that i am sure i am blessed with the most wonderful blog friends and visitors, including you

    mark, you are the milk to my morning cereal. thank you friend. ♥

    thank you suki. likewise and ditto xoxo

  17. lo,our friend tessa: just like you &hearts
    please be rooted and when you fly look both ways: i couldn't bear to lose you ♥

    robin, i hoped to meet up with tessa in swaiziland. :( she embodied grace and gravity xoox

    mim, you at least i know i can cry with on the couch. love always

    annie, december 2010: great women paint the skies.

    thank you very much snow. very much. ♥

    thank you sharon. i sometimes think stardust and seaweed. equally brilliant. i look forward to visiting you in the year ahead sharon. glad to have made your acquaintance.

    lori, really really hard. thank you for softening the loss with me. i love you too. for sure.

  18. No one can love anything in this world but his own Self.

    We grasp something, and find it slips through our fingers, and then we grasp something else. We say that a wife loves her husband. She thinks that her whole soul is absorbed in him; a baby comes, and half of it goes out to the baby, or more. She herself will feel that the same love of husband does not exist now. So with father. This world presents to us manifold stages of love. Every work whether its a duty or a filthiest of animal passion, all comes through one source; love.

    We always seek return from our emotions. But, Love knows no bargaining, it is not a matter of return. if we expect, it becomes a mere matter of shop keeping. We may fancy that we have it but is a fancy after all; it is a long long way off. Then what is the meaning behind all those emotions? There is a meaning behind everything and the meaning behind our emotions is the subtle power which every moment impelling us forward to seek the real object. And that’s the spirit what I see in you, what you may be see in me. Even a part of it is sufficient to give a spark that illumines our whole being. Love is always expanding and all contraction is death. Sometimes before of our vain ego, we contract, and the moment we contract we are dead. And this is the idea of perfect love.'Love is always for love’s sake.'
    This is an incredible post. I like the header painting. Wish you a very happy New Year!

  19. I love to read all those comments from various humanities. It only proves that the world is not death. We all have so much goodness in our hearts..just remove the dross, just push away the cloud a bit and the Sun shines in full glory. It's a great education indeed.