Friday, November 11, 2011

Mish Mash Congruence

Ahaha! Hello Social Networking! Where I can so confidently tell you I am a smooth wise attractive sensitive intelligent thin (oh even thin!) fascinating passionate beautiful and very wealthy gem of a woman

Ahaha! Isn't it great that for the most part we (each of us) know how to tell the real deal from the phony baloney. Myself, I've misjudged only one time in my relationships born from the blogs, and although it was a huge misjudgment, I can't say it wasn't meant to be.

Congruence. One of my favorite words. It means being the same on the outside as you are on the inside. I teach my clients about congruence. Being someone other than who you are is no way to love and take care of yourself or to love and build trust with others.

By the way, I am again in Provincetown for three days where autumn could not look more beautiful. I bought holiday wrapping paper today, a sure sign that my eager childish self is already planning and plotting my tra-la-la's.

I have a friend who needs prayers. Please offer them for her health.

I am writing on the days when I don't work and when I can see my way past my chores. I am writing and I love it and it is agony. At this rate this book will take me a decade to finish. But I know I should just keep chugging along at it, and I will. I comfort myself knowing I won't let it go until I am satisfied it is the very best I can write.

Best wishes for a good weekend. I will be looking for little boy pajamas on sale, ordering books from Amazon, reading my blog entries from 2007 (for the book), fine dining with JB, breathing in salt air, and walking the bay. As far as I know, I will not be complaining again until Sunday night. :^)

With love, kj


  1. Love that pic.

    I think I am a congruent person (if that's how you would say it). I suspect you are, too.

    Keep on truckin' with the book; I know how hard those words can be.

    Enjoy your surroundings. They are a gift, for sure.

  2. hahaha nice post KJ!
    It is a pleasant reassurance to find out the people you blog with and you connect with the most are congruence (Learned a new word here:))
    Most of the time my intuition is correct but eh.... not 100% flawless. I think that keeps you sharp.
    Love your new header but I also loved the one you had before with the welcome sign in P-town, thought that one was perfect for your blog as well.
    Enjoy your days there in P-town! Good for you you make time to write.
    Today I will continue to paint my corridor. I won't have any time for art the coming weeks. But I am not complaining. My home and garden are getting close to the way I want them.
    When finished inside my shed will arrive in December so more work.....
    But next year I will have time for art and who knows I will finally get my studio :)

    Have a wonderful weekend:)

  3. OMG I love the dog thing. I've ventured into the world of Internet dating and ran back out in a heartbeat. Had chats with two men and scared the shit out of me I think I might turn gay is that possible? UGH. Sadly, I'm congruent, honest, wear my heart on my sleeve and fall in love with the wrong men for now, just me and my camera (oh alright and a webcam....and...well you know who/what) Have a great weekend yourself.

  4. So, one of the most authentic people on the whole planet is again at Provincetown, writing! Great news.

    Without looking it up I suspect that we get the word incongruous from congruent. ?

    Love that you were so enthusiastic about dVerse Poets Pub, and really hope you carve out some time to be there. xo

  5. well, I hope you have a lovely weekend down there in p'town. Lot's of driving these days eh?

    Prayers for your friend and love to you

  6. The only thing I know for sure is that I am not duplicitous enough to be one creature on the inside and another on the outside...but I am smart enough to know that if I can live with me that is the most important thing in my psychology. If I perhaps stumble upon someone who I don't annoy or vice versa then I can live with that as well.

  7. so glad you are in P-town again and looking FWD to the holiday gift season.

    congruence. if only. I am totally different on the inside than on the outside sometimes. i often do not speak out, for example, about what i think about things. i often think i want to go one way, but then go another.

    in college i did a lot of acting and was very good i must say at pretending to be someone else.

    in writing I did for many years i was not me, but rather some other voice, sometimes the voice of people not me nor like me and inside me i was different from the projected me's of the novel.

    it would be lovely to me if it were so simple, to congruent the inside with the outside. that is my goal in meditation and yoga practice actually, however it only happens sometimes. not always.

    have a great time in ptown.

  8. I'm feeling like I need a little Christmas more than usual for this time of year. I was in Michael's yesterday (buying unneeded art supplies) and lingered because they were playing Christmas carols! Enjoying the moments that I get. :) Don't know if I am congruent, but I like saying the word. Ptown is gorgeous. Hope you get some miles done on your book. I'm doing same! Love and prayers sent - xo Pam

  9. Beautiful post, KJ! I find that usually things that happen to me are congruent with the way I feel. And in the blog world it has been nothing but positive for me and I am grateful! As I am supremely grateful for you, my friend!! Love, Silke

  10. i don't know where to start, but the dog is hilarious. oh how we humans love our masks and social networking unfortunately only reinforces them in many cases.

    yes, writing can be agony....and sometimes ecstasy when you read something you've written - maybe only one sentence sometimes - that resonates with your soul...which brings me to congruence. that will be my new favorite word. i've been using authenticity lately in the same vein, working towards being the same on the inside and out. work in progress but i slowly chug away at it. as barbara said, i suspect you are already there.

    finally. LOVE the new header foto. there is something so mysterious and moving about a dark sky hovering above a phalanx of flaming fall trees. gorgeous pic - did you take it in provincetown?

  11. hello barbara! thanks for the encouragement. i am congruent most of the time but not always. the 'not always' is because i am more sensitive and more vulnerable than i present xoxo

    tsup! marianne, what a great feeling, to be giving your house and yard a facelift of your choosing! i like that 'welcome' header for my blog too. no doubt it will show up again. have a great weekend. ♥

    hells, shake it up, baby! xoxo

    lydia, thank you so kindly, but see my comment to barbara. it counts that we try though :^) i hope to visit the poets pub and get in the groove of joining the prompts. you know i loved your recent one. xoxo

    thanks, mim. it is a weekend of crisp bright sun and super sales. the remaining open shops don't want to carry inventory into the winter, so there are deals to be had. i'll bet you are riding your bike right now!

  12. suki, your honesty is both touching and refreshing. i try to keep in mind the wise words of mary chapin carpenter: sometimes you're the windshield and sometimes you're the bug'. :^) life tosses us around. but through it all, somewhere somehow, we are still ourselves ♥

    pam, hahaha, i can just see you in michael's swaying to holiday music! you are TOO cute. p.s. the fall photo in my header is in northampton, not a half mile from my house. ♥

  13. So many wise words about congruency here... I see where Suki is coming from...(I was a Drama Major in College..) but I love your Mary Chapin Carpenter is so true! The older I get, the more congruent I am....these days - what you see is what you get.. the beauty about our group of friends is that we don't need to pretend.... we are...

    For the first time in two years,
    I am looking forward to Christmas too...

    Love the header...and love the fact, I saw those beautiful trees last year!

    My prayers are joining with yours as we surround our dear friend with love and strength.

    Enjoy P-town....I know you are savouring every minute there!

    Love to you, JB and Stella,

    ♥ Robin ♥

  14. HAH, I have a houseful of people coming to a too small house for Thanksgiving, and staying almost a week. I am, however, determined to be just as delighted on my insides as I'll appear to be on my outside.
    Does this count,,,,I hope so!

    Enjoy your P-Town time!
    The Mary Chapin Carpenter quote reminds me of a personal favorite:
    "Equal time being both the hammer and the nail is true balance."
    Prayers for your friend,,,

  15. mark, i have no doubt you are you! but i laugh when you come across that you your relationships with others are haphazard. i don't believe it! xoxo

    silke, i agree. my friends here are now REAL friends. i accept that without question. and i'm so much the better because of it! xoxo

    hello amanda, if i'm congruent, part of my congruence is a combination of wisdom and confusion! thank you always for your comments. it's so apparent you read what i write and take the time to respond so thoughtfully. and this description:
    "dark sky hovering above a phalanx of flaming fall trees."
    oh my amanda, that is one gorgeous image! ♥

    wrobin, it gives me great pleasure that you are looking forward to the holidays. i am so very glad. and of course the sharing of them among friends is such a special exciting treat. my mailbox starts to dance with anticipation :^)

    hahaha babs, that is a good quote!it reminded me of one i tell clients that describes rigid thinking: "When you're a hammer, everything's a nail!"
    babs, i know your house will be filled with everything good. how wonderful that you will host your family, and i know there will be ample room. ample and abundant! ♥

  16. it's so nice your in a place you love doing the things you love too, nothing could be better than that. it's just beautiful here too. enjoy dear kj.

  17. From my perspective your blog is very congruent with who you are in person. (A delightful person and a good friend and both those things shine through.) I'd like to think my blog is congruent with me, although I'm not inclined to tell every bad thing about me. Unless it can be made into a funny story - then I throw it right out there! But I have no need to present myself as wealthy or sophisticated or beautiful or clear-headed or temperate or other things I know I am not. And I'm okay with being the flawed but still pretty good person that I am. I sure hope that appears in my blogging.

    (Word verification is "monsu," which was my little brothers baby word for monster.)

  18. well darling i had noooo doubt that you were thin and stunningly gorgeous and well as incredibly wise and kind! And the book will be fine...just keep chippin you honey

  19. lori, a friend once explained to me that places have astrological signs too, and some are more compatible with ourselves than others. ptown is that for me. i feel completely at home and myself there. ps. ♥x100

    csw, aw, what a sweet compliment. thank you so much. as for YOU, i can't comment on the wealth part but i can confirm that you are sophisticated and attractive and clear-headed, okay not always temperate (haha that last part, but really, you and your blog are definitely congruent and worthy)♥

    keep it up, dear chrisy, i'm going to show up at your back door with flowers in hand :^)

  20. i was actually on the vineyard this weekend - awesome wonderful awesome. adore it.

  21. To my mind it takes too much out of your soul and it is too much work not to be congruent. I have known a few who weren't and they are no longer in my life.
    Wish I had me some of that salt air :-).
    Keep writing, never give up!

  22. Good post!

    I have a hard time weeding out the junk because I'm such a trusting people. People should be what they say they are and for the most part, it doesn't even occur to me to question it.

  23. You sound congruent.
    I feel congruent.
    Life is good! YES!
    Have a great week dear one.
    Prayers for your friend.
    Pictures of Fall???

  24. Super new header pic kj! The dog made me laugh - all will be revealed if he uses Skype - will he be like me and not answer a video call if he's not well groomed??!! Hope the days in P-town are good for you!x

  25. I always heard that a person should aim for incongruence (if not actual incoherence) because the longer the words that it takes to describe you, the smarter you must be.

  26. Did you know Amazon has a Visa!! Well of course you did. But I charge everything on my Amazon Visa and get to order free stuff almost every month. Wooohoooo. I LOVE Amazon.

    Congruence. Nicely put KY. You can't build trust with others unless you are yourself. I have learned that the hard way. You really have to care so much less what other people think in order to do it. You are brave and wise.

    ((Hugs)) to you and prayers to your friend.


  27. I actually haven't felt true congruence in my life for at least the past couple years, which is unsettling and unnatural for me. It's a goal :)
    I hope you enjoyed your weekend, and I have added your friend to my prayer list for healing.
    sending love, K