Monday, January 11, 2010

The Year in Review: Part 2

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There is once again no order to these snippets of my 2009. This is more my exterior landscape than my interior one (Be still my heart!) but I have to say I like looking back in this way. It leaves me feeling hopeful, as if nothing was as bad as I might have thought.
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We are emptying the house my Mother and Father lived in for 56 years. My father and his father built the six room ranch I grew up in with their own hands and my Mother lived in it alone until three years ago. It has sat empty until now, because we couldn't bear to confirm to her that she cannot live there anymore. But now it is time. Most of the furniture and belongings are old and will be discarded, but I am determined to find homes for each of her china cups and saucers. I'll take eight myself and I'm giving the rest to special people who want them.
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This incredible quilt arrived in the mail one day last year, totally unexpectedly, It was uncanny because it is the most beautiful greens and browns for my new granbaby Baby Drew, who's bedroom happens to be green and brown. . No picture could do justice to the love and skill put into every stitch. I didn't know at the time that the maker (artist) and sender of this baby gift would this year be confirmed as a friend I want to hold on to for life. MIM. What an act of kindness. And what a treasured piece of art. ♥
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Mr. Ryan spends some weekends here at # 9 with his grandmothers Gram (me) and BB (JB). We are exhausted to the bones by the time we return him to his parents, but manohman is he fun. Mostly everyone knows that there is something special between grandchildren and grandparents, but for the life of me I can't put my finger on it. Partially, it's just so easy to PLAY.
And there are things I want to teach him, at a time I (finally) feel wise enough within myself. Mr. Ryan turned 3 last Sunday. His party is next Sunday. He is an Angelboy.
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How often do you look at the sky? What is the metaphor around the fact that the clouds do not, cannot stay still? Can you imagine what would happen if they refused to move? There would an interplanetary face off explosion. Better to flow: a painful lesson for me in 2009 but one I hope will treat me gently and serve me well in the years ahead.
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This little girl believed in the Easter Bunny and believed in all things 'yes'. When she grew up she learned about boundaries and betrayals and beginnings and bottlenecks, but she still chases 'yes' whenever she can.
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And this little girl has finally settled into the life she deserved all along.
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If you were 2 and you had your own flashlight and you wanted to see how it looked in the dark except it was early morning and there was no dark to be found, how clever would you be to figure out a solution, right there in the back hall?
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For some time last year I was lost and forlorn and my friends Heather and Gordon cared for me for the weekend. So did Marsha and Norm. And Lolo. My friends were lifesavers in 2009. They listened, they listened, they listened. They fed me. They told me I'd be fine. They told me it was not my fault. God and the Goddess were wise to create friends. The planets would not spin so evenly without them.

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I love Seattle, but I couldn't live there because of the too often grey skies and too often drizzle rain. Still, the architecture and energy of the city is really great. This is the city Market Place: food, fruit, fish, fresh vegetables, flowers, and plenty of funky tee shirts.

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My View from the kitchen sink.



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All year I kept asking myself, 'How much love can a heart hold?' I started wondering if I was playing with fire by believing that love is unlimited, that it will exist whether you want it to or not. But every so often someone (or some two) would remind me that what I believe to be true is true: love is unlimited. This is my Jess and her Baby Drew. No limit no way no how.

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What a thrill to see my book in this bookstore window for the first time. 'The Light Stays On' was released in December 08 so last year was a year of relishing being a published author. There was a book reading in Provincetown that was a little unexpectedly dicey (hee hee) but what a wonderful trip it's all been. Maybe in 2010 I will hire a Publicist and give this book it's due, promotion wise. (Thank you so much to everyone who's read and supported it. I am very very grateful.)

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And finally: kjbabe's First Annual Sex Survey. This was the year I got healthy (okay, healthIER) about sex. If you haven't seen the results and responses of this survey, and you are interested in who thinks and who does what, this is not to be missed. It's in my archives. I'll find the link if anybody's interested but you have to ask. :)
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2009 was quite a year. Actually, one way or another, every year is, don't you think? But I've heard quite a few people say a fast and furious goodbye to 2009, anticipating a much happier and easier 2010. I shouldn't end with a political statement since my blog is not political, but 2009 also saw the end of George W. Bush and a very uncurious presidency. According to strictly me, that might count for something hopeful all by itself.
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Love
kj ♥
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23 comments:

  1. What a fabulous post.

    Now kj this is the kind of book I would love to read. This and the other powerful snippets you have written which are paragraphs in sentences, novels in pages.

    Excellent post.

    Oh and I love yellow and that yellow tea cup and saucer. If they want to come to Winnipeg with maybe a companion cup for my sweet Josephine and me to have tea, well then you send away.

    Love Renee xoxox

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  4. Hi KJ,

    Lovely look back.

    Some things I have witnessed some just missed....... Think I will do better this year and the missing pieces of the puzzle will fall in itś place.
    2010 will be a better year for everyone , I know!
    I took all my Momś China cups and saved them on my attic. Couldn bear to trow them away. Once I will have a nice place for them , maybe in my new kitchen.
    I see life was hard on you someties but I see a lot of good things and your positive attitude will guide you to better times and we will accompany you.

    I am much better thank you and in the meanwhile I am in Cairo where I will enjoy some ME time!the weather is crisp and a little sunny, so a little escape from the bad weather at home.

    love (can make the little hearts on this laptop.....)
    >M<

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  5. what a fabulous post kj. i so enjoyed 2009, and although i hate decembers, i am relieved it is now 2010 and we can get on with things again. love that quilt, love the pics and stories,absolutely love mr drew, and simply LOVE your header. 'ms snooty' will be knocking at your door real soon to stay forver.' she is yours! thanks for always saying nice things on my blog, met you through lolo, and it was a very lucky day for me. xxx

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  6. I remember most of this, but not the survey! It occurred to me that it might have happened while I was on hiatus, so I checked that month of the archives. I'm surprised how openly some people answered. I'd have to think about whether I wanted some of that to be public knowledge - I tend to be fairly private about thinga like the exact number of partners I've had.

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  7. Looking back is always wonderful..2009 gave me new friends I will always be thankful for. You are definately one of them..I remember debates with u and snowbrush over art...LOL...and out of that two great friends bestow love, butt kicking, and laughter. Emily also made my heart skip a beat, how I love emily.

    I love you my dear friend.

    xoxoxoxoxox

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  8. I remember these fondly alongside you.

    I know you'll choose the most perfect cups to go to Winnipeg ;)

    I'm already off to a kick-ass start in this new year and loving it! I've been waiting so long for the switch to flip on and it finally did.

    Girlfriend, we're going to have a blast this year!

    Love you!
    xoxo
    Lo

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  9. Great post. Loved it all.xoxo
    ♥ ♥ ♥ :-).

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  10. Oh my gosh kj, what a post. i have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat.
    i say what renee said (except she should have the yellow cup!) i just loved seeing all that matters to you. and oh that little girl with the bunny, could there be a more precious photo? (aside from those two perfect gbabies of course).
    how beautiful to remember the year this way. i really love it.
    have a great day today making more memories okay kj?
    love,lori

    p.s. the poem was incredibly beautiful too in your previous post. and the same goes for your writing, it always goes straight to my heart.oh you can write.

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  11. HA! "The Reading". That really was a good giggle! Oh how can you give away the tea cups??? But if you must, I have my family china cabinet that is over 100 years old with china of the same age that would always welcome a newbie. We did not sell Hubby's Mom's home until after she passed...as you said, it just seems too final. However, I am certain that "Grandma" now has custody of my Bear! She ALWAYS wanted to steal her. **kisskiss** Deb

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  12. The quilt is so lovely. I'm really going to have a go at making one someday. There's love in every stitch and no two are alike. Not sure I'm ready to be a grandma but at least you can give them back! And yes kj, love is indeed unlimited. Amazing our capacity for love and how rarely we actually share it.
    Oh, I have two Shelley China tea sets which I have never used. They belonged to my Grandma and I haven't the heart to risk breaking them. Silly really.

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  13. Thanks kj... I enjoyed visiting 2009 through your eyes.

    I'm hoping to email you and the others within the next couple of days with more info for fun times.

    best wishes always
    Ribbon xx

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  14. PS...

    kj i'm sorry for you and your family for having to close up your parents life.
    i guess it's something that most of us get to do at some stage, but i know from experience what a heartache it can be.

    it's not all bad as you know, but take care and be kind to you

    x Ribbon

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  15. I love how you remembered the year kj, the good and the bad. How you recognized the good in the bad is truly wonderful, I forget to do that sometimes.
    I am glad 2009 is gone but I don't regret it, I have learned and that is good. I have also met some truly incredible people. You are one of them.
    Bless you and everyone you love in 2010. May it be your best year ever.
    Good luck in the giveaway.

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  16. Dear KJ,
    Another wonderful and meaningful post!

    My home is filled with antiques - so I would be happy to have a cup and saucer from your Mother's collection....but, only if you have any left after your "regular" bloggers requests.

    Always,

    Robin

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  17. renee my moon sister heart sister, it makes total sense to me for that yellow tea cup and saucer to go to winnipeg. and a companion of course for josephine. you must wait until i get back to my mother's house but when i do i will inform the yellow tea cup of the happy news. :)

    mark, third time worth it. you are a good good guy. xo

    cairo! my god, marianne, how much of the world you see. i would love to see along with you! i am very hopeful about this year. i want health for everyone i love. then i want crazy wild love and silliness,

    soulbrush, ms. snooty is coming to MY door?? that is beyond exciting and very very thoughtful-kind. it has been a year of knowing you too, joss, and i am very glad of that. xoxo

    cs, looking back, i can't imagine you NOT participating in the survey. it would seem incomplete without you! being detailed was optional, although enlightening....
    :)

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  18. sonia, it feels like i have known you for so long. i love you too my dear friend. you know, in some ways you remind me of emily.
    please consider that a huge compliment, if you know what i mean. :) ♥

    poet lo,

    yes kick-ass
    we'll have a blast!
    fiesty and fast
    with plenty of sass


    thank you, annie. i am hoping your days are de-light-full this week.

    lori♥ i love your comments. they make me happy. for sure a teacup from my Mother's house will choose you. lori, that little girl with the Easter bunny is....me.
    xoxoxo

    aw deborah, you remember my erotic book reading? gulp... :) now i am someone who does not pack anything very well. so how am i going to pack all these teacups, to winnipeg, california, arizona? okay i will figure it out next time i'm there. deb, i am glad 'grandma' now has bear. that is a comforting and wonderful thought. xo

    'Amazing our capacity for love and how rarely we actually share it.'
    you know what, hells, i want to share it, give it away, get it back and live like this over and over. i still feel that way. i don't want to lose letting myself love wide and deep. i want to THINK too of course. :) xoxo

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  19. renee ♥

    ribbon, more info for fun times? bring it on, girl, bring it on.

    ribbon, it helps alot that my Mom is so happy and content right now. i appreciate that you understand..xoxo.

    marie, yes, incredible people in 2009. i don't have regrets either. still, i'm glad to be looking ahead! i hope i win, i hope i win, i hope i win... :)

    robin, there is a teacup for you. inside it will be magic dust that will totally eliminate, heal and revise two events from last year. how does that sound? :) robin, it will be some time before i get the cups but i will at some point..

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  20. KJ, I loved this. I feel like I know you so much better now.

    It is good to have a year in review. So much happens in life and it changes so rapidly and when we feel things are too big, we look back and get perspective.

    much love

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