Monday, September 03, 2007

Update from the Nursing Home

Scene 1: An elderly woman is seated in a wheelchair with a food tray in front of her.

MOM: I'm just not hungry
KJ: Could you try to eat some for me?
MOM: Now, KJ, if I tried to eat some for you and it made me unhappy, would you want me to do it?
KJ: Umm, No...
MOM: Well then.

Scene 2: The same elderly woman is playing Crazy Eights with two adult women.
KJ: I'm warning you both: I'm going to win this game by a mile.
JB: Look at that smug look on her face.
MOM: She's not smug--she's just showing off her dimple.

Scene 3: An elderly woman is comfortably resting in a hospital bed with an adustable floor tray in front of her, and the same two adult women are seated in upholestered chairs next to her bed.

MOM: You two seem to always get along. Do you ever fight?
JB: Not too often.
KJ: Why bother?(Pauses and smiles) It's hopeless.
MOM: Yes, but do you fight with eachother?
KJ: I don't hold a grudge too long.
JB: That's true: KJ usually apologizes.
MOM: Well, she should. It was probably her fault.

Scene 4: Mother and Daughter are talking quietly at the XYZ Nursing Home

MOM: Where am I?
KJ: You're in a Nursing Home for rehab.
MOM: Why am I here?
KJ: You fell and broke your hip.
MOM: Oh. Where?
KJ: In your yard.
MOM: (thinking deeply) Tell me again, why am I here?
KJ: You fell and broke your hip.
MOM: How?
KJ: I'm not sure, Mom. It was in your yard.
MOM: Oh, yes. And where am I now?
KJ: Mom, I think giving you this information ten times in a row is enough.
MOM (thinking deeply again). Well, why don't we start over at the first time then?

She's doing well. At age 91, she won't be walking for another month or so, but her wit and will are strolling along just fine.


  1. She's a lovely woman and witty to boot, just like you.

  2. I also think that there is something very important here that I failed to mention, that this lovely lady has a most loving daughter.

  3. It is great to read that your Mom may have lost a bit her short period memory, but absolutely not her wits. 'Well, she should was probably her fault'.... I am laughing my head off. I hope your Mom will be back on her feet soon and live for a lot more years. Such a pretty person deserves to become 101 years old hahahaha...

  4. You're Mom's a card - she sounds like fun.

  5. What a great sense of humor. She is lucky to have you..and vice versa.

  6. 91 is a fine age.
    I admire how you approach the matter with humor.
    Yes, you may call met Peter, it is, after all, my christian name.

  7. Holy Marconi, shes a hoot!
    I hope her rehab and healing goes well for all of you. Savour the laughs!

  8. thank you ces. i am glad you know my Mother.

    wieneke, my Mother thinks 101 is just about right.

    cs, she is fun.

    he, nice to see you here. thanks.

    pieterbie, i got the humor from my mom. my daughter has it too. (ps i am glad we are on a first name basis!)

    lavender, she really is funny.


  9. Now that is written with humor ! All the best for your Mom !!

  10. These conversational anecdotes are a scream, kj: funny, touching, and they say bags and bags about you and your mother.

  11. Wow, KJ, your mom has a biting wit! I love it!!!!!