Thursday 13: GRRRRRRR

A few weeks ago I sat down and whined my way through a Thursday 13 that reflected my state of impatience and bitchiness. I had no intention of actually posting it, but it felt good to just let it rip. I wrote out 13 things that irritate me and cause me to either complain or fume. Only because I am currently back to my calmer self , I can admit that most of the following 13 things that bother the hell out of me often begin with my hurt feelings and confused emotions and only after that do they become irritations and sometimes true-blue anger. Today I am not irritated or angry. I am happy and calm--so much so that I've decided to post my earlier bitch session and enjoy every complaining moment of it. I'veupdated my comments and embellishments, but in a nutshell, here's my original post:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm not in a very good mood. I am tired of making the effort to see someone's point of view at the expense of my own. So in the interest of letting off steam and enjoying the luxury of bitching, here are 13 things that irritate the hell out of me.

1. People who show up late and fail to apologize: Maybe I'm late myself sometimes, but come on--why can't you acknowledge that you've kept me waiting and say you're sorry? You can be sure I'm not going to bring up my irritation unless you are a really good friend or special person to me, but I'll make a mental note that you have a character flaw. By the way, your flaw is not being late--it's being thoughlessly rude.

2. Sloppy or shoddy work--I don't care if you're a physician earning $ 300,000 a year or a cashier at the grocery store earning $ 8 an hour: have some damn pride in your work. Don't cut corners because you're lazy or tired and expect me to accept that. Don't act like you could care less and don't blame someone else or say there's nothing you can do to make the situation better. Why can't you just be helpful and polite?! And it's even worse if you aren't awake or conscious enough to even know when your work is sloppy or shoddy.

3. You talk non-stop about yourself and neglect to ask anything about me: Generally I'm a patient person and a good listener. But I have to tell you--after about 20 minutes of hearing about you-you-you, I'm tuning out. Discussions involve more than one person, remember? How about a small inquiry into how I'm doing? Or a small acknowledgement that I am listening and supporting your talk-a-thon?

4. Making plans with me and then changing them to suit yourself: I can be flexible and it's not like my time is always rare and limited, but come on--I've set time aside for you and maybe even I'm excited to see you. When you nonchalantly change plans, or ask me to re-juggle--especially at the last minute--I'd like to think you have a better reason than "Something's come up" or "So-and-so has an extra ticket to the ballgame". Fine. I'll re-classify you. You can be my "who cares--maybe-we'll-find-time-and-maybe-we-won't friend."

5. People who complain about someone to me but then kiss up to them: I try hard enough to avoid gossip, but sometimes I listen and participate because it looks like you need someone to vent to. Ok. That's fine. But if you bitch about Susie's behavior and three hours laterI see you fawning all over her, count me out. I hate hypocrites. Don't waste my time with fair-weather games.

6. Borrowing something and not returning it : Listen, I hate to give up my stuff, but I will if you ask nicely and you need it. However, it's not part of the deal that I have to chase you down or uncomfortably remind you about the $ 20 I lent you or the book or gardent tool you asked to borrow. You borrow it: have the decency to return it before I'm wondering if you ever will.

7. Telling me I am too sensitive or too demanding. You say this, I shut down. End of story.

8. Asking multiple questions when it's obvious I don't know the answers: If you ask me a question, I will tell you what I know. I try to provide the amount of detail I think you want. But with a few people it's never enough. My poor partner JB. She gets alot of flak from me about this. This is how it works:

JB: Did you talk to Jessica today?

Me: Yes. She and Mike are going out to dinner tonight for their anniversary.

JB: Where are they going?

Me: I don't know.

JB: What time are they leaving?

Me: She didn't say. She just told me they were celebrating over dinner.

JB: Whose watching the baby?

Me: Gee, I didn't ask.

JB: Is Janna going with them?

Me: I didn't ask.

JB: Do you think Janna is staying with the baby?

Me: I don't know.

JB: What else did you and Jess talk about?

Me: Oh, she got an award at work?

JB: What kind of award?

Me: She was in a rush. I think it was for exceptional performance.

JB: For something specific or in general?

Me: I don't know.

JB: What did she say?

Me: THAT'S ALL I KNOW!

9. Taking advantage of my good nature and tendency to be kind: Listen, I'm a pretty nice person. I try to be reliable and for most people I care about I'm there in good times and bad. But don't take me for granted, and don't keep asking without giving back. It's about balance. If things get too one-sided, I'm apt to bail.

10.Moodiness--I've talked about this before. I don't want to be told that I'm "too sensitive", but if someone I care about is moody and I don't know why, I will think it's either something I've done or the person doesn't like me. And what's the harm in making an effort to be pleasant, anyway? If you have to be moody, at least paste a phony smile on your face or stay home and go to bed until it passes.

11. Failing to acknowledge an animal's hello-- If my dog approaches you with a sincere wag of the tail or head on your lap, that is a gift. Unless you are genuinely phobic, you should be grateful for any expression of love. If you miss it or push it away, you are a jerk. That's my opinion.

12. Being insensitive and then blaming me for not standing up for myself --Oh come on! You're rude or thoughtless, you overlook my feelings or take advantage of me, and then you tell me I should have said something.? Yes. How does this sound: "You are an a----e." How about you police your own behavior instead of expecting me to?

13. Complaining about the same problems over and over and over and over but not doing anything about them. Just how many weeks or months do you think I should listen to your sorry complaints and miserable lot in life before you either take my advice, follow your own, or accept things the way they are? Some people just love to be victims. Please--find someone else who is more sympathetic than me. I will hang in for quite a while while you learn and grow, but forever? No can do.

Gee. I feel such relief. I had no idea ranting and raving could be so therapeutic. I recommend it. Try it. You might genuinely enjoy unburdening yourself as much as I have....... You might even find yourself smiling..........