Emily Speaks Again

Well, this is the second time I am writing this blog for kj. She is paying me a measley amount of money to do this, which I will spend for jellybeans. But I really want a skateboard. You could send me money and I would put it to good use. You could tell the IRS it was for charity.

I almost said the "F" word because of Mr. Coffee Cream. He was very mean to mention what Glenn Close did to the family pet. It made my lagomorph blood boil (hahahaha).

When I first met JB I didn't speak but I sang silly words and she tried to understand me. One time outside a bookstore she got mad at me for talking too much--I was really singing rabbit opera but she told me I was giving her a headache. I don't know why.

So now I know people language very well and even some big words like lugubrious. I don't talk in front of people I don't know, except once.

If I get ignored for too long I say something as soon as I can. If that doesn't work, I either stamp my feet or whine directly from my stomach. If you don't know how to do that you should learn.

Today I am writingt about money:

1. Snowflake the Beautiful and Pieterbie said rabbits do not need money. That is totally not true. I used kj's computer and went on the World Windy Web (www). I found a place called Jellybeans International and I ordered 12 pounds of mixed colored jellybeans. They asked how I wanted to pay for them and I said, "Just send them and I"ll tell you that later". I am waiting to see if the jellybeans come in the mail.

2. kj and JB work in insurance sometimes. This is how it works: people buy insurance so they won't have to worry in case they get sick and can't work.

Then when they get sick the insurance company tries to find ways not to pay them, so they end up worrying anyway.

Where I live, if you buy a carrot, you get a carrot. Plain and simple. This is why rabbits are actually alot smarter than people.

3. At Christmas I expected big presents. I could not believe JB gave me nickels and dimes. I cried and cried. JB got mad. She said I was not nice.

I told my mother that I was going to ask JB for $ 50.00 so we could be friends again. My mother said, "Emily, nobody should be set for life--it makes them too comfortable and then they get careless. That is too much".

So instead I asked JB for five one dollar bills and she jumped at it. She agreed because we didn't know how else to be friends again.

4. My mother says money is the radish root of all evil. (But so what)

You might be happier if you send me money. If you are interested in some rabbit pellets in return, send extra money for postage and I will send you a supply.