Sunday, December 21, 2008

Get Mad Instead

This advice came my way yesterday, probably none too soon, from one of my most loved and wisest critics. It was bracketed in between a few other gems, which got me thinking about how some of us move through difficulty: "Fake it till you make it." Okay, I can do that.
So in the spirit of Christmas, let me start with a few photos that reflect the world around me this weekend:

And let me end with the six boxes of 250 books that arrived at my back door two weeks ago. One hundred will find their way to book critics, reviewers and the like. One will be sent to Jodie Foster, who I think would play a perfect "Lily" on the big screen. A half dozen have already been dropped off at one local cafe and one independent bookstore. Thirteen have been sold, signed and mailed out from # 9, and a few have been lovingly given to special people for special reasons. Life could not be more paradoxical: at one of the more difficult times in my life, one of the more exhilarating achievements is unfolding.

And as of today, when I start to fold too, I'll do my best to get mad instead.


  1. Hello KJ - Well, you're doing a fine job of "faking it." The pictures are beautiful. I especially like the contrast between the inside and outside photos. We both have so much snow!!! It's still falling here, ever so lightly... I got your email today. I'm having a real problem with sending out mail. It's been going on for over a week, and i just haven't had the time and patience to figure it out. But yes - let's get together soon! In fact - I plan to purchase your book, so I will need to come on up and get it autographed! Love & Happy Holidays to you and JB xoxox - Carla

    p.s. set up a Facebook account!!!! Great networking for your book and a easy way to keep in touch.

  2. There you go. And the place looks beautiful. I like a variant of that saying (also from AA, I believe) - "Bring the body, the mind will follow." It works, even if it sometimes takes a bit of time.

  3. carla, it's soothing to hear from you! and i've just received your book order. it will be a total pleasure to sign the book for you. i might have to do that even before we meet for lunch!! xoxoxo

    cs, you really are an inspiration, you know. :)

  4. hey, a virtual visit to #9!

    I can smell the snow..does that make sense? I used to love coming in from playing in the snow and having some Lipton's noodle soup with extra noodles! That beat hot chocolate any day. And my mittens and snowsuit would be put on the radiator to dry for round two!

    I like your old, fat Christmas lights. I'm a little confused by the witch though :D I also enlarged the LR photo to see if I could snoop to read what's on your coffee table! Nothing is sacred.

    I like the advice you got, but one of the things that has been swirling in my mind is how much of your energy this is taking. In a way, it's giving the other person power over you. So yeah, rechannel the sadness and get mad instead. Or get stronger and take your power back ;)

  5. Thanks for sharing your Christmas photos. Lovely. And I guess you are having the same snowstorm I am. Yikes. How wonderful to have those books there, a concrete statement of your work and talent. Good luck with the book, I cant wait to read it. I chuckle at the book to Jodi Foster. I sent a copy of my novel to Julie Harris, who lived nearby me on cape Cod. When I lived there. Just in case.....

    Good thoughts to you as you struggle with foldings and anger. Blessings, Suki

  6. lolo, that witch is esther, who has hogged the couch for years now and refuses to move elsewhere. she is surrogate mother (barely) to mildred, who is also a witch and arrived without permission.

    old fashioned christmas lights, yes. always.

    rechannel the sadness. man on man i'm trying! :)

    suki, where did you live on the cape? i was in ptown for almost two years and still have a modest place there...

  7. I love you're snowy garden and Christmas tree. Don't fold now, life is like the seasons, it rolls on whether your happy, sad, or mad! Too short to dwell I say.

  8. WOW! a magical snowy wonderland!!! The magic cottage looks so perfect with a blanket of snow on the roof :) I feel lucky to have painted it and it lives on in peoples hearts, minds and homes! Thank You kj you did do me a favour! i haven't had internet so that is why it took me so long to reply...

  9. Then there's the saying, 'Don't get mad, get even'- altho' in this Season of Goodwill that may not be appropriate.
    A white Christmas! Lovely! I think ours is going to be grey - blah!! Hope you are feeling good soon - Hey! Those boxes of books must make you feel so proud of yourself!

  10. A wonderful snowly Christmas KJ

    I love these peaks into your world - it looks so warm and comforting :D

  11. it's the old "whenever you feel afraid - just whistle" advice. Most of the time it works pretty long as you're not deliberately walking into the danger zone. But yes...faking it can help alot during times of trouble or sadness.
    The snow is still coming down here in Stow, but hopefully we will leave tomorrow for warmer temps.
    Have a happy christmas and a wonderful new year

  12. baino, if you can roll on, i can too. thanks for the encouragement.

    val, i did you a favor? this is what i love about you. may i buy you a glass of wine? soon? :)

    chief, the boxes and books are awesome! 'get even'. yup, i know that one. for some reason, i don't want to go there. i want to accept, adjust, and whatever comes next.

    miladysa, i love every peek into your world too. i can just imagine what christmas looks like in your village...(is village the right word?)

    mim, just whistle? i'll do that too! i hope you relish in the warmth of whereever you are going. man, did we get snow, huh? i'm glad to get to know you, mim. and ms. em. :)

  13. I had to come back and leave you this quote that came in my inbox.

    "You can only work on yourself. Start there."
    Alice O. Howell


  14. Wow, I'm still deciding whether or not to work the Christmas tree I bought and was so excited about-about a thousand years ago it seems. You continue to amaze me.

  15. lolo, i had to laugh. alice's initials are HOW--an apt question sometimes!


  16. debra kay, amaze you? why? i can't imagine.. xo

  17. Its a beautiful world you live in, and its on the edge of an exciting still-new adventure, if getting mad doesnt do it, Id try another old saying: "Success is the best revenge!" Hugs!

  18. What gorgeous shots, KJ! Simply beautiful. But, you know what? I love that last one best. :) Love and merry Christmas wishes to all at #9 ... xox.

  19. Well it's called a village but it is really a town of sorts these days. You will see when you visit - you've an open invitation :D

    Merry Christmas to YOU and Yours KJ x

  20. Wow, so much snow out there in your part of the world:)
    And happy holidays, I wish you a good and quiet time, and time to sort out the good from the bad, and hug yourself:)