I don't know what to say.
I admit to being exhausted. I stayed up almost all of three nights with a terrified post seizure good dog. JB is temporarily on crutches. Two young women who lost their mother to cancer a few years back will now lose their father. And it is my favorite holiday. I can't bring myself to decorate y-e-t, but I've bought fresh bough for the fence and I want pine scent in the house. I've also given thought to the gifts I will give this season. I love that part; more than getting, I love the giving.
I am rightly concerned and consumed with the writing of my second book. It feels endless. Part of the problem is time: I don't have enough of it. My best style is to write for 8, 10, 12 hours at a time. I barely come up for air. But I don't have open stretches like that these days. This is not a gratifying or enjoyable book to write and I'm not sure when it's truly done that I will let it find its way to the outside world. I hope so, but I'm not sure.
I went to a writing conference a few weeks back and the first page of my book was read aloud for a panel of three agents to critique. They gave some helpful criticism, and they told the audience of 200 people that my opening preface was pretty fantastic. I was floored and stunned and of course determined to keep going.
But I have other characters that are starting to pull at me. They are impatient. Claudia and her eight year affair with a married man. Her brother Cole, the journalist who longs to hear his Mother's poems. The wacky landlady in her baby blue chenille bathrobe. The married man and his too tender infidelity.
But for now I have a book to finish. To finish the edits, decide on the names and the locations, write the bridges, improve the verbs. And discover the ending. This last part is pretty perplexing. I should know the ending by now. But I know I will know by the time it's time.
I imagine there will be some good cheer on my blog during this month. I love the season. If I sound somber tonight, I possibly am. But mostly I am so damn grateful.
love
kj
FYI: Here's the opening that landed some compliments from the agents:
Preface
Some of this story is true and some of it isn’t. A wise reader will probably figure that part out. Please don’t ask me. I have enough angst worrying about Bee’s reaction and whether Catherine will sic a Filipino dragon on me.
Also, don’t ask me if hearts heal. I have no idea.
Ah, the elusive ending (I wasn't nearly satisfied with mine, and expect a total rewrite someday). I've no doubt you'll ace it.
ReplyDeleteA great preface that makes me want to read more. Congrats on all the kudos.
I have an ending but I keep spacing it out! That says something! Thanks, Barbara. I hope you get back your book one of these days xo
DeleteHello my sweet friend. Well, what a time you've had; life's like that sometimes isn't it. No matter how much we try to protect ourselves and those we love, stuff comes and 'gets us'! Thank you for sharing so generously your life - both the good and no so good - with us. Your writing is sublime but that isn't surprising to me with the heart you have. Across the miles I send you a hug. If I was there we'd hang those boughs whilst singing tacky Christmas carols!
ReplyDeleteChrisy, I just love hearing my writing described. Thank you xo I'm going to look up the definition of sublime!
DeleteI send you a hug across the pond too xo
Love
kj
I've been a teeny bit worried about you, and was just about to email to see what was up
ReplyDelete...and will email. Ok?
ReplyDeleteMim, no need to worry. Nothing a little extra sleep won't cure :-) but thank you. And see ya soon
DeleteLove
kj
KJ, you just have entirely too much on your plate right now~~thus, the writing issues.
ReplyDeleteThe word is a tough Mistress with a whip. Demanding. Screaming. Reminding you that SHE is FIRST.
But real life tends to creep in and overwhelm, and thus, she is put on the back-burner, where she is unhappy.
I am delighted that they read your intro with a good response; I think it is personal and charming and something that comes from a real voice.
Here is hoping that you find/carve out a day for just getting lost in words.
Lots and lots and lots.
XXOO~~
Anne
What a fantastic comment, Anne! I laughed my you know what off thinking about ms word. She is indeed high maintenance!
DeleteThAnk you for being a great friend
Love
kj
well you got some good news...they liked the preface...i understand the birthing of the book and how consuming and hard...and yes even at times un-fun it can become....you have a lot going on as well...travel light
ReplyDeleteThe compliment felt great, Brian. I wonder how confused I would be if I were to work on two books at once!
DeleteHold your horses, Claudia! I'll get to you :-)
Love
kj
so much going on in your life. you must be a hardy soul. i'd be under water now for sure. i need simplicity. sending prayers to all, esp JB and doggie.
ReplyDeleteHahaha suki; I like simplicity too!! I think I make myself sound busier Andorra buried thAn I am. Tonight, I will eat dinner and watch tv :-)
DeleteLove love
kj
Ah KJ, how is it that I have this impression that you live your life at full pelt the whole time? It does seem to me that you are up against it on a lot of fronts just now. Lots going on and lots of pulls this way and that. I hope you are getting some respite ... and like you I love the gifting more than the getting, ho ho ho not long to go :^) hope things ease up with Chase and that JB is not in too much pain. Big hug from me xx Jos
ReplyDeleteHello my friend xoxo
DeleteYes, lots going on, but 70% of it is filled with activities and people and a dog I love. No complaints.
I always love hearing from you . We have a deal :-)
Love
kj
General comment: hmmmm. I don't think I have more juggles than anyone else. -)
ReplyDeleteIf Catherine dedoess sic a Filipino dragon on you, we all have your back.
ReplyDeleteI will decorate this weekend, as soon as December hits. Poinsettias. I need poinsettias.
Aww,cs.........
ReplyDelete♥
By the way, I have no idea why my attempt to use italics html for "does" didn't work.
ReplyDeleteI knew what you meant :-)
DeleteKj, I love the part about the dragon, got my interest :-).
ReplyDeleteThis is a hard Christmas for me, so I relate, I have decided no gift giving this year, not because I don't love it, but lack of money and time and still dealing with the grief of losing my mom. I will find ways to make it a happy time though and so will you.
I feel for those girls, losing both parents is hard, you feel very alone for a while, I am glad they have one another.
I hope JB is healing up, kisses to Chase.
As for your other book that wants to come, I would let it.
Love and hugs.xoxo
Hello dear Annie, sometimes something shines when least expected. I hope your holidays are peaceful with maybe a surprise or two. No gifts will free you up, and I have no doubt your art will benefit
DeleteJB is so sad for her nieces . A very unexpected second loss.
We'll keep in warm touch over the holidays, eh?
Love
kj
Extra kisses for JB, I am glad her nieces have her as well.
DeleteExtra kisses for you too.
xoxo
I like it very much as it reminds me of my blog profile. Writing 8-12 hours a day... A DREAM! I want to accomplish. YAY for you on where you're going and on the good reception :).
ReplyDeleteIt IS a dream! I get so much done writing like that! As you know, the thing about writing is you're never alone. :-)
DeleteLove
kj
Sometimes life puts a lot on your plate......
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for you Chase and JB . I wish it was easier .
But I know you will enjoy the beautiful things presented to you as well.
Exciting about the book coming to completion. If you decide not to publish it will have served another purpose ;)
But I am sure all will fall in place and the book will be worthy to be read.
Take care dear!!!!
hugs to all of you!
♥M
Doing better, Marianne . Heading to ptown in a few hours and chase seems a lot better. JB is limping and sad, but we will cacoon together for the weekend
DeleteAnd you? I hope things have settled on your end and your holiday can begin. Love always, Marianne ♥
Ok so you're busier than an ant trying to drag a dead mouse to the farm for food. There is no time line on boos so that one for now has to go into the want category. I know you will disagree but Christmas trappings can also go into the same place.
ReplyDeleteSounds to me the two kids, JB, the dog, and the other stuff that is world altering is the needs category. But then we all prioritize differently maybe the book is a need and sleep is a want. *shrug* when was the last time, even though you obsessed you failed to complete a task?
Haha mark, I know you meant books, not boos :-) and you are right . All in good time...
ReplyDeleteAs for your question, I normally finish what I start but I also have two unfinished manuscripts (how- to self help books) and a list of wants . I'm not driven. Actually I'm a good relaxer.
Love to you, mark
kj
I like that preface, it intrigues me. And here's hoping that you have a wonderful Christmas.
ReplyDeleteThanks deb :-)
DeleteI could have sworn I commented before. Brain freeze!
ReplyDeleteI love the preface too. And I'm with CS. I have your back :)
When I get stressed about starting/finishing a project Bri always reminds me that the deadline is arbitrary because I'm setting it myself.
A real commission is pressure, sure, but a work in progress should just unfold naturally. Even if it causes some anguish and frustration along the way.
This book will be born, like children, in its own time ;)
xoxo
Love,
Lo♥
i'm so glad you included the opening preface here, kj. it is tantalizing enough (and must be!) to invite the reader into your style and the mystery of story. no wonder there was positive response. i'm beaming)))
ReplyDeletewe're in limbo this year (but aren't we always, really?) and stuffed into the two bedroom basement apartment, our new home are away without furniture and without us! we still waiting on immigration. and so christmas decorating will have to be inside the spirit rather than inside the house. yesterday james and i ate clementines while sitting in the cold car alongside an icy river listening to what are probably pretty bad christmas carols but i smelled my fingers from the rind and it couldn't have been more christmas-like. now i need to get my children to peel clementines and smell their fingers. then we'll really be getting somewhere:)))
your town looks so warm.
xo
erin
(how the heck was i not following you???!!!)))
ReplyDeletekj,
ReplyDeleteI am hoping for chase that his health will improve. I hope the visit to the animal hospital will bring some good news.
I will be looking forward to reading your book some day.
I love the recent posts above, and will be visiting, this month frequently as the little gifts are so wonderful. I am thinking of making your mother's ravioli for my son and I at Christmas, although I may use gluten free flour. :)
Hugs,
Brenda