Chapters 10 and 11

Chapter 10

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How does some one become a lesbian anyway? Who would choose to be that different, to face family scorn, god’s wrath, employment discrimination, and safety concerns all in the same package?
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Alex, heterosexual small business owner, wife to Mike and mother to Andy and Amy, decided she would like Lily-the-Lesbian as soon as she pulled into Lily’s driveway and saw her garden. It was late May and Alex-the-Gardener had noticed the pink impatients confidently planted in front of two large leaf sorrels—the edible kind with the vibrant green colors that worked so well as a backdrop.

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“Hmmmm” she thought. “This woman knows what she’s doing. And she has her floral act together a week ahead of Memorial Day—risky but clever.”
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Lily opened the front door, smiled, and extended her hand to Alex. Alex reciprocated, scanning the room to see if her friend Willa had already arrived and surprised at how attractive and “normal” Lily looked. She stepped into the peach-creamed colored rectangle of a small hallway, its walls covered with photo frames and little arty doo-dads.

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At the urging and through the arrangements of Willa, Alex was attending the Bag Ladies Book Club for the first time. Willa had clued her in on several of the women already: Mairaid, a Web Designer who laughed easily and charmed the socks off everyone with that Irish brogue of hers that pronounced GAR-age instead of garage; Roberta, the School Psychologist whose daughter had recently become transgendered; Allison, the Nurse Case Manager who had been featured in the Boston Globe for pulling a teen from the Charles River and saving his life with CPR; and Lily, the hostess for the evening, who Willa had told her to especially check out because she thought they would get a kick out of one another.
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Where Alex was cute and solid and preppy-- remnants still from her high school days as a cheerleader and second runner up Prom Queen--Lily was tall and slim and graceful. In her mind Alex dubbed her a ‘designer bohemian’, dressed in a long sleeved tie-dye shirt that dropped to just above her hips and was perfect with her fitted jeans.
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This night a group of eight women were discussing Jody Poucolt’s My Sister’s Keeper. Alex noticed how confidently Lily offered her opinions, how thoughtfully she listened to everyone else, and how her easy going persona seemed to energize the room. She especially liked what Lily, a college instructor in English and Ethics, had to say about responsibility and obligation. As a wife and mother, that struck a chord in Alex.

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“I mean how do you know when or why you just have to put yourself first?” she had asked the group.

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And Lily had said, “When you’re drowning, you know.”
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Everyone there liked Lily, Alex could see that. She was the kind of friend that Alex wanted. It wasn’t as though Alex lacked friends—she had been voted Personality Plus in high school afterall—but the truth was that for more than a year she had become generally bored with the elements of her daily life. It was difficult for her to face, but she was not happy.

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She and Mike had married straight out of college, Andy was born 8 years later, after they had both settled into their careers, and Amy a year later. She and Mike played whist every Friday night with Mike’s college roommate and his accountant wife, they took the kids to Disneyworld and rented a cottage on Cape Cod for two weeks every summer. They owned a fabulous 10 room Victorian house; both cooked dinnerfor the family; they had sex four or five times a week in four or five different positions. They communicated well and gardened together in true team fashion. Mike was a good father, a good husband, a good guy. It should have been quite satisfactory. But it wasn’t.
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On the third week of Bag Ladies, as the group was dispersing, Alex asked Lily to dinner. Since she was not sure if Lily--who she now knew taught college lit, volunteered on two non-profit boards, vacationed in France and owned a timeshare in Virgin Gorda--would accept her invitation, approaching her at all had required the effort of a small act of Congress. Alex wasn’t shy: she was a bona fide extrovert with a wicked sense of humor, but she often retreated rather than risk either embarrassement or vulnerability. This time, however, she had promised herself to push through and try. What could she lose by trying?

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“Lily” Alex said, “Would you have any interest in getting together sometime?”

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Lily smiled. “Sure”, she said.

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Alex was prepared. “What about the fondue special at Marsh’s Landing? It’s right on the beach and not usually crowded”

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“Sure”, Lily said.

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Alex was suddenly not prepared. She stuttered, “Friday night?”

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“Sure” Lily said.

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“At six?”

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“Sure”.

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Alex smiled. So did Lily.

Chapter 11

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In high school Alex began phoning a fellow cheerleader named Carolyn Jenkins. Carolyn responded cordially but it became pretty clear pretty quickly that she was too into her football captain boyfriend to expand her social circle to include a new friend.

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In college, on a sorority bet embellished by gaity and intoxication, Alex kissed her friend Roberta for a minute or more. She didn’t think much about it at the time, but on the drive back to her apartment, she thought about Carolyn Jenkins.