SLAM!

Occasionally I wonder how I would be and what I would do in a life-threatening situation--like Tom Hanks in Castaway , or if I came face to face with a home invader, or if I were lost in the woods without food, water, or supplies.

When my mind travels on this train of thought, I'm usually thinking about courage. Generally, I see myself as mostly emotionally brave and sometimes physically timid. These can get mixed up, however: I like to think I would fight to the end to protect the people I love, including myself if cornered. At the same time, while I believe I am steady and clear in a crisis, I cry deeply when my heart hurts.
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Why am I saying all this? Well, it's been a hell of a week. Non-stop. I'm hobbling on a childish knee that out of nowhere has the nerve to need surgery, jb, also hobbling, is on an emergency flight to Colorado, my Mother is staying here while we carefully evaluate what's next and best for her, and today my household included a physical therapist, home health aide, cleaner, and a chimney evaluator. To feel and be overwhelmed by all this sounds so petty: no one has died, the house hasn't burned, there's food in the refrigerator. And yet the private me who likes time to think and walk in the park is hiding in the closet, curled up in a corner with my knees to my chest, thinking hard about how to stay above the frey, and how to pull that off with grace and humor.
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I'm mentally videotaping who I am in this circumstance. I don't want to bitch and complain. This, however, remains to be seen. My fuse is not that long. In the meantime, I'm temporarily turning to a joke or two. Here's the first installment.

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
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Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
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Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance. Jenny makes 5 dollars a week and I make 10 dollars a week. That's about 60 dollars a month and that should do us just fine."
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By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Bruce has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Bruce won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
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Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.