Sunday, April 30, 2017

Spring


It's been a wild month. Winter has given way to Spring and that's a wonderful thing. I'm a happy gardener and I like nothing more than seeing new growth and planning my own plots of land. 

But. I'm unsettled and I don't like it. After four months away JB and I won't be back in our own home for another 2-3 weeks. We've had to leave our rental on the bay and move to another temporary place while the construction and renovation of our house continues. It's a bit of a helpless relationship--dealing with contractors. You can prod and try to manage but they call the shots in getting things done. We have a contract that says finish by May 15th and my fingers are crossed.

I'm also aware of a very unsettled world. I'm shocked at the power Donald Trump has amassed already. I hope I'm still alive to see his influence waned and gone. I hope there is a pendulum that swings back to tolerance and inclusion. And peace. I don't know how "we've" collectively stopped caring for one another so dramatically. 

Last night I had dinner with twelve friends from high school. We will all turn 70 this year. It is amazing for me to say outloud I will soon be 70. That's not an age that can be fudged. The conversations about achy bodies and joyful grandchildren and no-bullshit living and the importance of memories left me thinking that my own experience is more common that I think.

I'm currently unsettled because I have reasons to be. I want to get back home and plant my seeds and six packs. And not just in soil. I want things to slow down bit. More time to finish my novel. Enjoy the kids. Feel the sun. Walk in low tide sand. Be kind. Be astonished. Lighten up.

Fingers crossed.....

love
kj


'

12 comments:

  1. Unsettled is my life. I moved in with my Mum last fall. Every day is an adventure. Adventures in dementia. So glad I have the freedom to be here for her, but missing my life.

    This, too, shall pass. And when it does it won't be good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw cyndi, I've been there. It's a 24-7 but one lesson I learned was that it is mandatory, not optional, to get some time for yourself. Even an overnight, a weekend, an afternoon. I had a cna, Carmen, who would stay with my mother sometimes 2-4 hours a day and once for a whole weekend. We had enough $ to be able to do that sometimes. I hope you have some resources to help you get away.

      You sound like you know you will have no regrets doing this for and with your Mom. And how I understand that it becomes your life.

      If it's like me, I think whenever you lose your Mom you will find two important facts:
      1. That it's a loss but it's also a relief
      2. Your sacrifice and kindness and love for her will leave you with wonderful and guilt -free memories.

      Take care of your self too! ��
      Love
      kj

      Delete
  2. I need to slow down. Even more than I have. The last few months have taught me that we have today. And to breathe.
    Lovely post. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Birdie, I WANT to slow down! Mostly because I could use a recharge before life tells me I have to rev up again. I want a slow summer. But I also have people who need me and my time for an important reason.

      And yes, you are so right. It's all about today
      Love
      kj

      Delete
  3. I believe in pendulum politics but worry that the pendulum has been swinging to too far extremes, on both sides. Hopefully the arc will start to lose momentum before too much damage is done.

    Obviously you should have hired me as your contractor : ) And I work cheap - usually just for food.

    I do hope life gets back to normal quickly for you and that you have your hands in dirt soon.

    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi 8, where should that pendulum be? Compassion. Kindness. Abundance. Surely we should be able to tell if we're that. And know how important that is.

      I am trying my best to 'supervise' the construction. I do think we're at the tail end and we'll end up 85-90% happily satisfied. But I wish it was all joy, because really, it's a pretty cool thing happening.

      I just wanna settles little more .😜
      Love
      kj

      Delete
  4. Here's hoping you're back in your home soon, digging in the dirt. I feel sick when I think about Trump and the people who support him. It feels unbelievable and I wonder if 100 years in the future historians will look back and judge us harshly for not doing more to stop his madness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Deb, I think it's unbelievable too.
      Love
      kj

      Delete
  5. Speaking as one who has been there....try to let it go. It will all work out - it really will

    ReplyDelete
  6. Soon enough you'll get your hands in the dirt.

    And hey, Comey is likely going to get to publicly testify. KJ we may see an impeachment yet!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey... I hope you are home soon. In fact, since you said mid May, I'm hoping you are, right now, in your garden, and sowing them seeds..

    Wishing you good luck, kj, and hugs!

    ReplyDelete