Sunday, November 22, 2015

This Time of Year...

 It's about time to stop being cryptic. I've been cautious to admit that my JB is sick, that despite enough doctors and tests to fill a hospital we don't yet know why, and it's been tough and sad and sometimes scary. 

Normally I'm a fan of fall-turned-winter and the upcoming holidays. I nest, I bake, I give presents, I plan visits, I light candles, I give thanks. I'm also a natural optimist and a controlling problem-solver, so it's not easy for me to fess up to feeling lost and nervous. But there you have it: JB is sick. I believe we will step by step figure out what's wrong and I believe in time she'll be okay, but in the meantime I'm sad and worried and my heart breaks for her and I've lost my day-to-day best buddy. 

Not to mention this week my patience with right wing misinformation about Syrian refugees--after everything they've been through, rejecting them as if they're terrorists--my patience is gone. All the real fear about the brutality of ISIS must be addressed and minimized, but please let us be intelligent enough not to blame the people who have actually suffered what we most fear.

With that out of the way, of course life still offers grace and fun. Here's my update on that part:

1. My friend Hells (blog name: Baino's Banter) came visiting from Australia, along with her friend Jeff from LA. We had a grand few days as good friends do. First time in Provincetown and Hells and Jeff: come back anytime. 


 2. It's been a real concern to move to a small town by the sea where the nearest hospital is an hour away. But I've been pleasantly surprised by the health center here. JB and I have found a very good primary care doctor and I can tell he is going to help JB sort out what's wrong, test by test, specialist by specialist. Plus there's something to be said for artwork in the exam rooms...


3. This is no more and no less a normal view from the parking lot of the grocery store. The sunrises and sunsets here in Provincetown are unbelievably beautiful. Sometimes the sky is orange and some sometimes pink. Every day around four thirty the gulls fly overhead, in unison, back to the wharf for their dinner. Last week I saw a hawk perched on an arbor. Families of foxes move around yards and side streets freely. It's nice to have moved here: stilted and punctuated for the time being, but all this natural beauty helps.


4. More beauty: low tide.


 5. And our house. I swear it was the only house in town we could afford but we could tell it had good bones. Little by little we've come to this: a fence, an arbor, new shingling, clam shells in the driveway, repair of the brick steps.  The house is nothing fancy and without JB's presence, the inside is only semi- cozy, but this Thanksgivin I'll be saying an extra thank you if only for this part.


6. Damn my iPhone. I used to keep my Canon camera nearby most of the time, and now I lazily rely on my phone. But every so often it lets me capture a shot like this: an elderly couple in the doctor's waiting room.


 7. And finally, my high school reunion--the first one I've ever gone to. These are my friends from junior high school and you know what?--after forty plus years of little or no contact, we are as warm and comfortable with one another as if no time has passed.  Roots.


I've noticed in the last week or two some of us bloggers are talking about why we are or aren't blogging as we used to. I know I haven't made the same depth of friendships as I did years back. But there are exceptions  (8, you know xo.) I'm not going anywhere--I love the blogs! 

Please wish JB well and send a blessing her way. 

Love
kj

24 comments:

  1. Having just lived through a scary time when first one then the other of us has been poorly I know that life just won’t make you like a lamb leaping for joy. But this too shall pass. Or so they say. Until it does I am sending my very best wishes to both of you.

    The world is a nasty place at times and it surely doesn’t help that some make it so much worse by their actions and bigoted spouting. People who are trying to escape terror, people who are literally fleeing for their lives must be helped not demonised.

    Which one are you in the handsome collection?

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    1. hi friko, i'm in the back row, second from the left, in my favorite purple pull over :^)

      you're right that i'm no lamb leaping for joy just now but the image made me laugh!

      love
      kj

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  2. Sending good thoughts and mojo JB's way. I hope a good prognosis is in the near future!

    I thought, for sure, I was going to make it to the cape and P Town this summer. didn't happen. Now I'm back in the desert for a couple months, Then, I'll head east and stay south until New England warms up.

    I'm trying to get back to blogging. Blogger is not very cooperative.

    Take good care of yourself!

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    1. Cyndi, I'm glad you're making your blogging way back! And your current gallivants sound luscious !

      See you in Ptown one of these days :-)

      Love
      kj

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  3. I hope she's feeling better soon. Love the pics.

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    1. Thanks Deb. Every day seems an inch better but there's still some detective work to do

      Happy happy thanksgiving. I'm glad no one at work is getting under your skin!

      Love
      kj

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  4. I am going to write you privately, but publicly I want to say that I LOVE you gratitudes - the words and pictures are beautiful.

    Please give my love to JB. I'll be sending lots and lots positive, healing energy eastward.

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  5. Kj, so sorry about what is happening with JB, I have a few friends who are going through the same thing. Wishing her well and much health.
    I agree with you about the refugees!
    I miss the ocean so much, 3 years since I have seen it, no money for trips, but I do have lots of time to paint, so I am blessed.
    I still blog, but I am not good about going to other blogs as it seems most are on FB now.
    Wishing you and your family wonderful Holidays and an end to JB's sickness.
    xoxo Love, Annie

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    1. Annie' I'm so glad we still blog . Thanks for your good wishes. I hope the ocean finds you one of these days !

      Love
      kj

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  6. One of the worst things in life is being unwell and not knowing what is causing it. I hope she finds her answer soon.

    The picture in the doctor's office and your low tide picture look almost exactly the same!

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    1. Thank you birdie and good eye!

      I think the symptoms and cause will be figured out but step-by-step it feels so drawn out !
      Love
      kj

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  7. Karen, glad you spoke up to your friends. I worry about JB yes, and hope they find out what's wrong and how to heal. But i also worry about you as caregiver. And as someone who sees a "problem" and forges ahead to solve it, being faced with a situation that is not in your control. Glad for all the beautiful things in your life. Take care during this holiday season. Do less. Hugs, Suki

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    1. Suki, I knew I was being too secretive but as you know it's easier to announce good things than bad or hard. I appreciate what you said about caregiving: yes, sometimes I just want to chill. But it's a good thing to give live in the form of care, and that makes me feel better. I do think things will improve.
      Love
      kj

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  8. I do hope jb is better soon... and if you would like, do discuss the symptoms here. Sometimes, the doctors don't know as much as the sufferers. You never know, someone might have had something similar, someone might have heard something.

    Sending love and wishes your way!

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    Replies
    1. Hello and thanks for your comment.
      JB would have a fit if I posted her symptoms ! I troll through webmd :-)
      Love
      kj

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  9. give the girl a hug from me. and to you too. love, xoxo, mim

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    1. Will do, Mim. Mwah! Tsup!

      Love
      kj. Ps safe travels xo

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  10. I felt something was wrong over there. I am so sorry to learn JB is not well at all. What a pity that she cannot enjoy making your new home cosy and give it her special artistic treat. I really hope that the doctors are able to help her soon. And that you both at last can start a new life in Provincetown without worries.
    Big hug and best wishes !!!!

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    1. Hi Wieneke, yes, that part about not yet decorating is super sad! It's a bit unreal to have moved here and be in a suspended state...

      But there will be good days ahead!
      I Love you, Wieneke
      kj

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  11. Replies
    1. Thank you, tax mom, much appreciated.

      I've been to your blog :-)

      Love
      kj

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  12. Odd thing about blogs these days is that i never know how far or ahead I am, doesn't much matter I suppose 'cept I fall behind on the news of people I care about because of people I care about. Give JB you unquenchable optimism--she'll be good to go.

    New shingles? On the roof or the siding? Yellow? Seriously kj? What are you doing trying to make a lighthouse where there was none before? Ah well it's all good, any clams in them thar sands?

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  13. Mark, cedar shingles on the front and one side--about ten years overdue. As you no doubt know, they'll naturally be grey as the seasons pass

    Thanks for you always welcomed encouragement. This has been and still is a tough one and I'm kinda wiped :-(

    Love love
    kj

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