Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Neighborhood Hypocrites


Scene: a cul de sac somewhere in Western Massachusetts

Act 1: Obnoxious Tony abruptly moves from neighbor Marianne's house and returns to Kentucky

Act II: Obnoxious Tony abruptly moves back and resumes his almost daily mowing of Marianne's  lawn on his over sized giant seated lawnmower

Scene 1: Obnoxious Tony tells his neighbor JB that he's returned to help Marianne because he is a 'high paid gigolo' 

Scene 2: In their efforts to control expenses JB and her partner Ms. kj decide to they must handle their yard's fall clean up themselves. This includes a very large amount of leaves that will need to be raked and disposed of.

Scene 3: Tony drives his car so fast on the cul de sac that Ms. kj tells him she will call the police if he continues to drive recklessly

Scene 4: The leaves start falling and JB and Ms. kj are seriously overwhelmed

Scene 5: JB and Ms. kj reluctantly decide they must hire someone after all to rake and clean their yard.

Scene 6: JB and Ms. kj notice that their side yard that faces Obnoxious Tony's yard is suddenly and mysteriously clear of leaves

Act III: Obnoxious Tony drives his over sized giant lawnmower to JB and Ms. kJ's kitchen door and engine running, sits and waits

Scene 7: Ms. kj walks outside and approaches Obnoxious Tony, inquiring why he is sitting on his lawnmower by her kitchen door

Scene 8: Citing his own self interest, Obnoxious Tony offers to remove all leaves from JB and Ms kJ's yard and to continue to do so until all the leaves have fallen from the many trees on their property

Scene 9: JB and Ms. kj give their approval, thank obnoxious Tony, and dance a happy dance that their leaf problems are solved

sometimes there is comfort in expediency :^)

love
kj


22 comments:

  1. I love how you've written this as a funny wee play. It's great. I trust Obnoxious Tony has done a good job.

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  2. do you now have a gigolo? if they do yards....go for it!!!

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  3. I find it confusing and amazing when obnoxious people are kind. But I am thankful when they are:)

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  4. Replies
    1. Deb, why thank you (kiss kiss)

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  5. Kay, we'll see. Many more leaves to call :-)

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  6. Other than his driving, I don't get why you dislike this man so much. Because he mows too often for you? (I wish my neighbors mowed because their briars, morning glory, and ragwort are taking over my yard too). Because you think his mower is too big? Because you dislike his humor?

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  7. Snow, Tony is not a nice man. He takes advantage of Marianne, who is frail, with the goal of taking over her house and eventually owning it. He is a dirty old man and sneaky. He wants to assure our leaves do not spread to his (Marianne's) yard., this was a contract with the devil :-)

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    Replies
    1. Given all this, your dislike makes sense, although it does seem odd that he would take all of the leaves out of your whole yard just to keep them out of her yard. Whatever else she has, she has one hell of a yardman, I would say.

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    2. Snow, he's not doing our whole yard, but he's compulsive enough to do the street, our side and part of our front yard. He does care for Marianne's yard. And does errands for her. But he's a creep and he's clear with us neighbors about what he expects from his deeds

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  8. Cleaning up our leaves was last weekend's activity. Helped by a son and two grandchildren.

    Blessings and Bear hugs, kj!

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    Replies
    1. So good to have your family cubs xoxo

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  9. You might have to keep writing about this neighbor; way too good of a story to leave us hanging at this point. What will happen after all leaves are raked, and snow falls... Does he come on by...

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    1. Rosaria, when the leaves are down and winter comes, I hope he will be invisible :-)

      We neighbors loved when he abruptly left: the energy improved! But now he's back and he's riding his lawnmower like a bronco :-)

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  10. Hahaha, I don't know what the expression obnoxious means, but I understand that you two are very able to cope with this character :-)

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    1. Wieneke, obnoxious means an offensive creep, and/or a dirty old man!

      xoxo :-)

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  11. The yard is my responsibility and I used to love to rake the leaves. Then when I got sick and was perennially recuperating from surgeries, I bought a sweeper that went behind the lawn tractor. Worked great.

    I have no physical excuse this year not to do the work but I still hooked up that lazy lawn sweeper. Yup, pay a ton to go to a gym, but don't rake the leaves. Go figure.

    And thanks for the reminder to be grateful for my lovely neighbors.

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  12. I'd call in the air strike as soon as leaf season ends, but that's just little quiet Bo Peep me.

    I'm here by way of the fabulous Lydia. Us 29ers have to stick together. :-)

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  13. This was fabulous! I love how this was written!!!! I love that your leaves are lifted! We finished (hahahhaha is it ever finished?) ours today!

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