Tuesday, March 04, 2014

A Bird's Eye View



I took the top photo, in my yard last spring. The bottom photo is from an iPhone application called waterlogue. It costs $ 2.95 and it turns iPhone photos into different choices of watercolors. With a click or two, I am having a great time playing with this. I think it's damn awesome.

I can't seem to blog as often as I want. This means I can't seem to write as often as I want. 

But I'm now hopeful. Today I finished a consulting report that took months. And for the first time since the holidays, since my knee replacement, since my Mother's move to a nursing home, since I left my therapy job--I have a clean slate.

Until further notice, and further notice will of course happen, it will be up to me to decide what I do. I have my Dr. Seuss rhyming story to shop around, my novel from hell to keep editing, my garden to dream about. 

But I'm still unfamiliar with myself alone and with free time. I've aged this year: since the surgery I see pot lines and weariness on my face that I keep hoping sleep will erase. I don't move with my desired bravado. And, I'm thinking more these days about my life ahead.

JB and I will move to Provincetown when my Mother "goes." (A friend used that term and my throat caught when she said it). I hope (pray) for  a closer relationship with my daughter and her family but I'm not sure how, and not sure if she even has time for that. I want published accolades, even when I wrestle with my vanity, I want that. I want a body that vainly struts, which is pathetic since I eat Boston cream donuts. I want to do nothing and everything.

I am in transition yet again. Anyone else?

Even as I write all this, I am at some kind of peace these days. I understand that kindness and gratitude honestly make things better; they make me better. I know knowing is currency for the days ahead.

Tomorrow, my first day without absolutes, I am going to talk to my friend Lori, finally, and then I am going to …..

I don't know.
(grin)

thanks for coming by.
love
kj



26 comments:

  1. That app is awesome!

    I am in the space between transitions, I think. Very similar to you, I have just (semi) retired and am pondering what to do with my new free hours.

    My parents have passed, my body has aged and is transitioning, I have no novels to write. I think I would just like to go out and wander for awhile. . . if this weather would just cooperate. Sheez.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ms 8, your time is coming :-)
      Love
      kj

      Delete
  2. Transition from good to happier sounds like what you disereve....I be in transition too...the best is to be seen

    Love Chris

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh happy day to hear from you, Chris. Want you and your words back!

      Love
      kj

      Delete
  3. start by reading something that you've been wanting to read for years. Then clean a closet, and take a walk......walk alot!!
    miss you too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Know what I did today , Mim? I queried. Well , I wrote queries. The publisher in Somerville closed for new submissions in December. Damn. And the publisher I like for 'the light stays on' requires 60,000 words and I only have 30,000. Damn :-)

      Such is the life of a ramblin writer

      Love
      kj

      Delete
  4. You're absolutely in transition ;-) Keep calm and go lightly. This statement I read somewhere.
    Is the knee as good as new now?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wieneke, I hope my writing floats to the top of my time. And I hope all this snow melts :-)

      My knee is pretty well. I can tell it's not MY knee but I've had a successful rehab. Still however problems that limit my walking--hip pain especially--and that is not good because I love to walk. I'm working on it !

      Love
      kj

      Delete
  5. Seems I am always in transition, not something I enjoy either, although it appears to be a constant in life. I love that app. for the photos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Deb, try the app. It is easy peasy.

      I want three months without crisis. Okay, maybe six :-)

      Love
      kj

      Delete
  6. Hello fellow wanderer! I am happy that you'll have more time for you. I think it's going to take a little while for you to find your groove. I"m still trying to find mine, with my mom passing and kids flying out the door and the old bod not cooperating with my mental image of myself - haha! But SPRING is around the corner and I am looking forward to pansies. xo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Pam ! Where the heck is everyone?!

      I think you are so right about finding a groove--not as easy as it might appear.

      I will be planting pansies first thing. Can hardly wait cp

      Love
      kj

      Delete
  7. I love what the app does!! Magic ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marianne, the app is so much fun. I'm using it with photos of my house so when we move I will have memories of now

      Love
      kj

      Delete
  8. I feel like I'm living in Transition these days. I don't really like it but since it's been that way -- one huge life change after another since Fall 2012, I've decided this must be my new normal. I do love that app too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Southmainmuse, I rail again the changes after a while; not that I can stop them but at least I can swear and complain. I hope you have a nice period of everything calm
      Love
      kj

      Delete
  9. Thank you, kj, for coming by mine.
    Living in transition? O dear me, I’ve done that for a long time now and still haven’t got anywhere that resembles terra firma.

    Sometimes blogging my thoughts helps. Sometimes hiding them in a private place helps.

    To see if you get there before me I shall follow you. I hope you won’t stop blogging just when you’ve allowed me to find you.

    Follow me too?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi friko, glad to connect with one another!

      I want a period of calm. I write better that way and I'm healthiest when I relax. I know life has other plans :-) but I know too my perspective has a lot to do with my well being

      A day after I wrote this post, hell broke loose! :-)

      Love
      kj

      Delete
  10. Interesting app. When I used to have a Kodak camera, it came with a photo editing program that would change your photos to cartoons and such. Picasa has some neat effects, too.

    This is definitely a transition year for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is picasa still around? Now that I have a Mac i use iPhoto. I wish I knew more about photography and painting

      Enjoy your weekend!

      Love
      kj

      Delete
  11. When the man and the woman were expelled from the garden (as the story goes), the man turned to his wife and said, "My dear, we are living in an age of transition." Yeah, things haven't changed much. Except that time between transitions seems a lot shorter.

    I do hope that you have a transition from restless to calm. And I hope that happens soon.

    BTW, a new page of Facebook: California Avocado Commission. I keep thinking that Emily VV Rabbit had a hand in that. And if you find her, please remind her I have a small stash of jelly beans that I will share with her. When she gets to Canada.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS: Love the photo turned watercolour. I would like to be ably to do the watercolour part!

      Delete
    2. Rob, that is a great point about the time between transitions being shorter. For me that is very insightful.

      It might be time for you-know-who to reappear. I am still not giving her bail money if she gets in trouble

      I wish I could paint like this app. I think I will learn from seeing how it unfolds in front of me

      Ps time for a dog, rob!

      Love
      kj

      Delete
    3. If you don;t give her bail money, will she rat you out? Something to consider.

      Delete
  12. I want to do nothing and everything. Boy can I relate. Transition is so unstable a feeling and even though we all go through it, it rarely feels good. Only after can we look back with 20/20 vision and hopefully say, "Yes, I learned something."

    Strength and blessings dear KJ, and wishing you a bright week ahead. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  13. Online Jobs is easy now for you, just spend few hours on internet and get unlimited income with Data entry copy pasting facebook and clicking jobs
    JobzCorner.com

    ReplyDelete