Thursday, March 08, 2018

Attitude


Whirlwind times. On April 2nd I'll undergo a 4-5 hour surgery with the hope and goal that in the months that follow I'll be able to walk and gallivant without the limits of pain and endurance. The recovery will take up to a year, but I can expect to improve each week, and I'll be mobile from the start. After almost two months of confusion to confirm a diagnosis, I've found a neurosurgeon and hospital program where I have full confidence. Backs are tricky: the literature says the success rate is about 60% and my own rehab experience confirms that. 

But I'm more optimistic than I am concerned. The surgeon tells me to shoot for  80-85% improvement and I'm psyched about that goal. Even if there's evidence to the contrary, I'm happy to accept his prognosis. This has been a wake up call for me: it's time to get myself in shape and stay that way. So I've lost 23 pounds so far and I'm heading toward the next 23 pounds. I'm swimming, I'm done with sugar and white flour, and I'm 'waiting to worry.' I hope to get off blood pressure meds sooner or later. I have a good life, a great family, loyal friends, plenty of interests. I live by the sea and I know enough to be astonished. 

I'm surprised that I've been mostly good natured over the last two months. Sometimes my pain level is through the roof. But not always, and that's an important distinction. Mine is not a relentless situation so I have moments when I'm relaxed and comfortable. My doctor prescribed a little pill so I can get a good night's sleep. I'm heading into this surgery with a positive attitude and a commitment to take care of myself better than I have before. And when I lose enough weight, I'll start dressing myself like the (now older) babe I want to be. :^)

I don't remember my parents complaining about anything, including their last weeks of preparing to die. I make jokes that I'm the black sheep of the family because I LOVE to complain. But honestly, I think I'm handling my impairment pretty well. I've decide to anticipate the best and I'm willing to put in the work toward that. Maybe 3 weeks from now I'll be shaking in my boots, but I hope not. 

For the record, I told JB I thought I've had a good attitude 70% of the time. She disagreed: "Maybe 60-40," she said. So maybe I'm not coasting as easily as I wish. But once my eyes open in post surgical recovery and I'm assured I'm still alive, I'll be spending at least 60% of my time anticipating good things ahead. And I'm shooting for 70%.

At least I hope so!

love
kj

22 comments:

  1. Big hug Karen! I hope your recovery goes well and I am sure it will! Having a positive outlook will speed your healing and I know you have that. I hope we can talk soon. Thank you for the lovely card you sent during the holidays <3

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    1. Val, I am thrilled to see your comment here and yes yes yes let’s talk soon! 💜

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  2. I hope everything goes well and you're feeling better soon:)

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  3. Prayers rising to The One Who knows all needs. Safety during a successful surgery and strength for the journey. All my love to you, Deb

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    1. Safety and strength sound good to me, Deb. Thanks so much.
      Love
      kj

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  4. The research I've seen suggests that people who have confidence in their surgeon have better outcomes and recover more rapidly. So you have that going for you! Hope it goes well and you heal quickly.

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    1. Hi cs, I went through 4 doctors and 4 medical specialties to get to this surgeon and this hospital and this department. I was sure I was unable to properly describe my symptoms. But now i know i’m In good hands. And 2 of thise4 doctors are sticking with me. I’m quite appreciative

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  5. Of course you'll sail right through it. My love and prayers are with you..

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  6. Don’t you love it when you think you’re being and angel and others look at you like “what the hey/?” Oh well. This is the right thing for you and you will feel 100% better.

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  7. I've been trying to email you since Christmas. New address?

    Anyway,,,,prayers from here also,,,God will see you through. He has promised.
    XO Babs

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    1. babs, you'll be hearing from me shortly. promise. xoxoxo

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  8. Best of wishes to you, hoping for 100% better for you!

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  9. On April 2nd I will turn eastward and send all the calming and healing energy I can muster toward you (and J) I do hope you will let us know as quickly as possible how you're doing so we don't have to wait too long to worry.

    Hands together and fingers crossed for you. I have no doubt you will be up and dancing soon.

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    1. 8, hold that energy! Surgery’s been postponed on the possibility the source of pain is due to a second cause—possible inflammation somewhere. Cortisone shot on Friday. Sooner or later i’ll Be back in shape!
      Love
      kj

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  10. It is good you're going with a neurosurgeon kj. I have friends who went with an ortho and they just never were "right" afterwards.

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    1. Mark, the neurosurgeon is great. Surgery of 4/2 postponed for further tests and possibilities. That is actually hopeful, so i’m Staying patient
      Love
      kj

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  11. My best wishes for tomorrow'surgery! Hope you will recover soon and be able to live without so much pain as you have now. What a loss of weight you had. Compliments for your hard work. Hope to read soon how you are doing. Love from the Netherlands

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