Wednesday, June 04, 2014

A Snippet...





A novel is taking shape in my head. I have characters--a family--and I like what's happening so far. I'm still only writing an hour here and an hour there, but I'm thinking and pondering. I'm glad about it.

Here is a snippet.  Your comments and criticisms are welcomed.

love
kj

The phone is silent for what seems like minutes. That’s how it used to be at the dinner table sometimes, until my mother started either laughing or clapping. She would throw her head back in sheer delight. 

“Kids," she’d say to the four of us, “never let too much time pass without reading a poem outloud. It will keep you grounded. If somebody says you’re ugly, read a poem. If somebody steals your money, read a poem. And for god sakes, when you get your heart broken, read a poem. You’ll be surprised.”

I didn’t stay in journalism. My mother died the night Providence won the State Championships and twenty minutes after the game ended, after I emailed  the story to my editior,  I was on my way to the TF Greene Airport, praying I’d make it back home so she could see me, so I could hold her hand, so I could maybe read her her favorite poem of all, The Country by Billy Collins, about a mouse running too fast with  a wooden matchstick in his mouth who burns down this guys’ girlfriend’s house. My mother folded over whenever  she heard that poem. Even when my younger brother totaled her car, the night before her road trip to see my Aunt Louise, she buckled with laughter when he told her he was so repetent he would recite The Country for her every night for six months. 

“You’re on, son,” she said, “but you still have to pay the deductible..”


I didn’t make it home before my mother died. Ryan said her last words were “Poets in heaven”. Can you believe that? My mother was nothing if not consistent. 

19 comments:

  1. I already love the mother character.

    But often being muddled, I found two things confusing.

    - "The phone is silent for what seems like minutes" I am assuming that this relates to something not included in the snippet.

    - "I didn't stay in journalism." I didn't understand why. Because the writer's mother died the same day the writer mailed her/his story? Personally, I would want a little more of an explanation

    Too picky I'm sure. When reading I am easily distracted by threads that aren't yet attached. But I would definitely keep reading just to hear more about the mother who I instantly liked.

    My opinion - worth exactly what you paid for it : )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks 8. you're right: i just cut this snippet out of context. the narrator is on the phone with his younger brother who is just about begging him to recite 'the country' for him. ha--i don't know why he didn't stay in journalism either (yet!) there must be a reason…. :^) thanks for reading this, 8. your comments are great and i appreciate them. ps i think i am in love with this mother--she so rocks. i hope i can do her justice xo

      Delete
  2. Too early to give a comment, but the mother is a special one. That's for sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you're right, wieneke. i am so excited to write about her even though i don't know her full story yet

      love
      kj

      Delete
  3. Of course poets are in heaven mom, they live their lives in hell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mark, hello my friend xo aw the agony of knowing too much :^)

      love
      kj

      Delete
  4. I want to read more. I like the narrators voice. Really good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. barbara, thank you so much. it is so nice to hear from you. somehow you are not on my blog list and i am going to try to fix that right now.. that's why i've been so absent. i hope you are better and better each day xo

      love
      kj

      Delete
  5. as others have said, i like the mother. i wonder what will happen next.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh suki, there is almost too much that may happen. heck, i don't even know how many decades this book will cover--forty years maybe? how the heck will i do that? and i am trying to do a better job of including 'place' as its own character. i have no idea if this book will be any good, but i surely like these characters so far.

      thanks for your always support, suki. i hope i give that back to you

      love
      kj

      Delete
  6. Kj, I love that poetry heals all wounds, I feel that way about art which to me is visual poetry. It is s nice start.
    I also read the last post and think that you could write on both books at the same time, just maybe not on the same day. Good luck with what you decide. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks, annie, so far i'm working on the new book because there is so much i want to get down on paper, if only to expand later. i know you know the passion that takes over when the work's flowing…

      love
      kj

      Delete
  7. Wonderful comments! I like reading your snippets. What state finals? I agree with 8thday. He/she has good points. But I do want more ;)

    xo
    Lo♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HEY! to whom it may concern: it's my beloved friend ms. lolo who by the way lives in rhode island. what state finals? i dunno--you tell me.

      and btw do you remember when john denver's plane crashed in pacific grove? what can you tell me about that?

      oh and i love you
      xo
      kj

      Delete
  8. It's great! It's got a good, strong voice and characters / personalities. Keep going, I think you're really on to something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aw kay, you always appear at just the right time for me. thank you so much. i hope you know how much it means to me and how much i appreciate your support. i think i may be on to something too….

      christine mulhausen. that may be her name unless i find i should write about a nationality i know more about, like italian or french canadian or irish.

      :^)
      love
      kj

      Delete
  9. kj,
    I like this, and would definitely continue reading.
    Not sure if I have ever mentioned this, in my blog, but I read for about 3 hours per day, so know what I like.
    :)
    Brenda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi brenda, you must be so well read and knowledgable. your comment means a lot--thank you! three hours a day--i think at this point anyway i am too jumpy for that but i could write for 14 hours a day! (i rarely do)

      hope all is well with you, my friend

      love
      kj

      Delete
  10. Hello my loved 1 ! I like to say the fact that submit is awesome, nice published and emerge along with nearly all significant infos. I'd just similar to to appear alot morecertainly an improbable and helpful bit of specificsthat you shared this handy knowledge along with us. Please stay us around day similar to this. Thank you for sharing

    davia leather
    new game kids
    toko jaket kulit murah di garut
    jaket kulit asli domba
    jaket kulit jakarta
    jaket kulit
    abwaba
    permainan terbaru
    layali store
    permainan games memasak
    permainan memasak sara
    permainan games barbie
    tozca leather

    ReplyDelete