I
Hello everyone. It's me, Emily Rabbit. I am very very very excited to show you the advertisement for my new frozen avocado business. This fantastic logo arrived a couple of days ago, created by kj's friend Kristin and could anything be more perfect for the launching of the beginning of something that is going to assure that I will have money for all the jellybeans I will ever want for all my life?
If you are new to the Green & Mean Avocado Company I will explain it to you very fast: If someone hurts your feelings, it's a good idea to aim one or more frozen peas at them. If they really hurt your feelings or make you so mad you have to stomp and then kick your feet high in the air, then you probably should throw one or more frozen grapes at them. And if the person is very mean in general, maybe even a frozen Brussels sprout.
But if they are very very very very mean and you not only stomp and kick your feet high in the air but you also cry BOOHOOHOOBOOBOOHOO very loudly, then you should consider throwing a frozen avocado.
I am supposed to tell you not to aim at anyone's head.
The green part of the Green & Mean Avocado Company is because you can RE-USE the pit for dire circumstances.
So far I have a Business Manager Jos
and a Resident Poet Anne
and a Supplier Lori
and now this from Kristin
This is going to be a very successful business. If you want to invest.....
EMILY! THIS IS kj. I FORBID YOU FROM SOLICITING FROM ANYONE! DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU COLLECTED MONEY FOR THE ROSIE FAN CLUB AND YOU PROMISED EVERYONE A QUARTERLY NEWSLETTER?
That was not my fault!
EMILY, YOU DIDN'T SEND OUT EVEN ONE NEWSLETTER. YOU GOT SUED FOR FALSE ADVERTISING.
I am innocent! Rosie was supposed to do the Newsletter!
ROSIE WAS A DOG! A DOG CAN'T WRITE A NEWS LETTER. AND WHO WAS GOING TO PAY FOR POSTAGE?
BooHooBooHooHooBooHooHoo!
EMILY.....
Waaaaaaagh!
.
.
.
.
To Be Continued....
Emily, you know it's tough starting a business, especially with avocados. People will try to steal things from you!
ReplyDeleteThat's why every successful business has a Security Director to watch out for you — to keep thieves (and employees) from robbing you.
I am a six foot, 1.500 pound brown Bear. I have claws as sharp as swords, and almost as long. Nobody, I mean nobody, messes with me.
I have a long history of keeping things safe and peaceful (by dealing effective with miscreants). With a big Bear on your side, a little Ribbit like you will never to fear for your future, or the future of your company. I don't eat avocados, or have ay use for them. I eat Salmon, nuts, insects, an occasional Squirrel, or even Fox. I don't bother with Rabbits. I will accept payment in food (especially jelly beans).
If you're smart, you'll hire me. You can reach Rob-bear at desert.epiphanies@sasktel.net.
Sincerely,
Bear
P.S.: You wouldn't want me to start working for the "other side," would you? Of course not. That's why you're going to hire me. The sooner the better — for you.
ReplyDeleteyes, you are hired, bear. but do i have to pay you? will you accept gummy bears? do you want to be on the management team because that is fine if you want to and i know you will make sure the sheriff never finds me and if he or she does will you mind making sure that i get out of jail without kj or any customers knowing? i might be able to pay you in avocados too.
Deleteyes!
sincerely
emily
Oh dear. Throwing avacados can be very dangerous Emily. I hope you are never that mad. I'd hate to read that you've been arrested and sent to jail. And they are also the GOOD FAT and should be revered as such and eaten in squished form as guacamole like they make at Jalisco's.
ReplyDeletePlease tell KJ that I really like her drawing in the header above. Please ask her why it says Boob on one of the smoke stacks? Thanks.
Lynn, I've thrown frozen avocados at three garage doors, six moving cars, one low flying airplane and I won't say how many mean people but I have no regrets and nobody had to go to the hospital
DeleteI will think about squished avocados. Only because kj says the environmentalists whoever they are might picket my business and then what would happen to my jellybean security?
Sincerely
Emily rabbit
Lynn, this is kj. Hahahaha! I had no idea!
DeleteXoxo
Emily this is truly GENIUS!!!!! I think Kristin has really come up with the goods on this one. BTW good move hiring Rob-Bear I think he may come in handy next time KJ tries to give "advice" if you know what I mean ..... and you know for those very very very serious occasions when even avocados won't do we could always sub-contract Rob out to deal with stuff for our soon to be huge customer base.
ReplyDeleteI think we're on our way to our first million jelly beans for sure. xx Jos
I realise that my reference to Rob-Bear might be mis-construed by you Emily. I want to make it perfectly clear that I mean that sometimes bear hugs work in situations where boo-hoo-ing and kicking your feet in the air and throwing stuff doesn't ... OK? xx Jos
DeleteHahaha jos, I thought you meant the opposite of bear hugs! What do you think if we make rob bear HEAD of Security?
DeleteSo........what should we do next, jos?
Yours truly
E.R.
I think the grouchamole idea has huge merit ... as does expanding Rob-bears role to more "security-type" situations hahahaha ... although I personally favour the hug-fixes-many-things approach myself and where that fails an avacado pit seems preferable to a kick in the head. Perhaps we need a contract hug service after all. xx
DeleteSorry you got busted, Emily, I was going to invest!
ReplyDeleteOh good barbara! Hold on, I'm sure you can still invest!
DeleteSincerely
Emily
Dear Emily,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you like your logo!
(I have always considered myself more of a
"Give Peas A Chance" type gal...
But, I do understand that there is the rare occasion that only an avocado will suffice.)
xo
Kristin
p.s. Give kj a big hug for me!
p.p.s. You might want to consider a spin-off company to use any mashed avocado... If you are able to knock some sense into the meanie with a frozen avocado, it might be nice to make up over some "Peacemaking Guacamole"... Never underestimate the power of a delicious dip and crispy chips!
Kristin, do you want to be head designer? The job is yours if you want it. I could pay you in jellies or gummies and free avocados. I am going to ask my business manager jos if she thinks we should sell grouchymole too. That is a good idea, Kristin. You are very smart
DeleteAffectionately
E.V.V.R.
Emily...we know that KJ will fold, solicit away rabbit!
ReplyDeleteand I was also curious about the message at the top of the view from MacDonalds...were you calling me names... if so, cool!
Wander
Hello mr wander, you are very smart too :-)
Deletekj is laughing about the secret word because she said 'who knew!'
Sincerely
Emily
Hey, KJ, what's your problem?! Emily is about to become rich, and she's offering an opportunity for her best friends to get in on the ground floor, and you want to ruin that for us! Sounds to me like you want to make all the money yourself. Frankly, I think Emily should see a lawyer about a slander suit because there's no way a sweet little rabbit would ever go around ripping people off. Maybe you should consider going to work for Rupert Murdock!
ReplyDeleteOh thank you mr snowbrush! I'm sure kj is going to rethink her position based on your comment. She wants a pristine reputation, whatever that is.
DeleteDo you think I should offer grouchymoles too?
Sincerely
E. Rabbit
I know about whirled peas but what about whirled avocados emily? do those make grouchymoles? HAHAHAHAHA......
ReplyDeleteWbirled avocados for grouchymoles!!
DeleteIt might end up a multimillion jellybean company!!
BOOBS in the smokestack!! Really now....
ReplyDeleteAnd Mim, kj has the nerve to tell me not to swear. Isn't she a bad example?
DeleteSincerely
Emily
Emily, I ran out of avacados late this afternoon, and I'm needing more tomorrow for when the bill collector comes around.
ReplyDeleteAgain.
Do you Fedex?
Hurry,,,,
Babs, I will put you first when we start delivering. I have to wait for my supplier to come back from Africa
DeleteI hope she knows she's my supplier
Meanwhile. Throw brussel sprouts
Yours truly
E. R.
Emily, The logo is way cool. Good luck with KJ. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you Annie. kj is making a hullabaloo about the Rosie fan club. She needs to lighten up, don't you think so?
ReplyDeleteSincerely
E. Rabbit
EMILY!!!
ReplyDeleteHow did I miss this post? (you should have e-mailed me privately to let me know it was up....I bet KJ had Blogger HIDE it from me...)
Emily dear,
I am at a loss,
A perfect adventure
Where you are the boss,
And then here comes KJ~~
Donned in wet-blanket
To try and discourage
the cash you'd be bankin'.
I'm thinking that maybe,
the great time is near,
when YOU have your own blog
And leave KJ here. (just sayin'....she's really cramping your style...)
You know that we'd follow,
And there would be more
Awaiting your wisdom
Awaiting your store
For selling the mean green
and getting revenge,
served up COLD and quite HARD
~~that's soooo good in the end! >:-}
And just to assure you
of profits quite grand
I'd be the first order;
Cold cash in my hand!
For probably a dozen
(and bazooka gun too)
As I need them to fly
Quite a ways from Peru!
So sneak right on out,
(wait till KJ's in slumber)
And you and I, Bunn-friend,
Will cut quite a number!!!
Your loyal poet~~Anne
(KJ...SERIOUSLY! You need to let her start a business. Especially THIS ONE. ESPECIALLY NOW!!!! *wink!* *wink!* I can be the 'Cado Tester.....hahaha!)
Anne
ReplyDeletethank you for knowing
it’s good to be throwing
you are the best poet
do you know it?
sincerely yours truly affectionately
Emily
Looooove the Advertisement! I think I'd like to work on the flip side of this business. I could be your personal shopper. I know all the best Jelly Beans and would be happy to taste them prior to even considering them worthy. You shall never want for a better bean!!!!
ReplyDeleteMs whiny word , the job is yours! I am so excited. Not just jelly beans, right? Can you get me a float for the beach? What about presents for my birthday? (I have four: January, February, April and September. )
DeleteThank you very much. I assume as personal shopper you will be on the management team. I hope it helPs your resume if not now then later.
Sincerely yours,
Emily r.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, what a wonderful logo by Kristen! It couldn't be better!
And Anne's poem! really? She never, EVER skips a beat! I know I can count on her wit and talent when I see an Emily post :)
Kj, dear friend. Lighten up on Emily, really. After all, she's so much younger than you (and the rest of us.) Why not let her make your retirement easier and faster? Well, as long as she doesn't drain your bank account for lawyers and retainers ;P
Just sayin' !
By the way, I thoroughly enjoyed half an avaocdo last night. I would have eaten the whole thing if I hadn't fallen asleep! I should have frozen the other half but instead I had to throw it out the next day.
I know, sacrilegous!!
xoxoxo
lololo
Kristin's logo: A plus
DeleteAnne's poem: A plus
I can't fail!!!!!! kj is a stick in the rabbit hole
Affectionately
E.R.
BOOB!!!!!
ReplyDeletehahahahahaha!
On a chimney?
In P'town?
Do tell!
xo
Lo
Not ptown. Springfield. On a work day. During a fast break. And apparently both unconscious and lustful :-)
ReplyDeleteLove your new logo! And good you mention not to aim on head. You have to think of liability. If people cant aim and hit heads then they are on their own.
ReplyDeleteHave been to china so behind with everything.
and why doesn't KJ believe you ?! If you can write so can a dog, of course you are smarter but I have seen writing of some pretty stupid people as well.......
♥ u dr!