Not-So-Dog Days

Hello! After a break from blogging, I'm glad to be back. I've caught up on pruning (words), painting, planting, and planning for the past few weeks, and none too soon. Here in New England the leaves are readying to change to reds and yellows and oranges before they fall, the garden awaits a final harvest, a dozen mum plants finally bring color to the front of the house, and a six foot metal sunflower sculpted by the metal smith in Provincetown is now attached to the left of the garage, where it will tower above the shrubs and future unwelcomed snow.

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I'm in the process of painting three doorway stoops and one baker's shelf. I'm making photo cards for JB's upcoming art fair in our yard (The second annual YART!). I'm finishing the edits of my book and beginning the cover design with a terrific fellow writer named Bill, to whom I am fondly partial. My paid work has mushroomed a bit beyond what I expected and desire, and I've lost sixteen pounds.

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In a nutshell, I'm busy and I'm grateful for that.

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By way of my brother, I am happy to provide some insight into the secret and not-so-secret thoughts of dogs. You'll probably recognize a dog or two you know through the following:

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TO: GOD

FROM: THE DOG

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Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

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Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

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Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the ' Chrysler Beagle'?

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Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

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Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

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Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

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Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

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Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be agood dog:

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1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

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P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back ?