Because.....

Not much to explain about this essay, except to acknowledge that some explanation would probably help. I wrote this a few months ago, obviously blending shopping and life into some else all together!

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.....Because I know the most about this, I have to be the one to fold it over and inside out so it still looks and feels like the same soft sweater that fits in every nip and tuck but the trying on and taking off stops for once and all. It’s too late to side step the price tag-- embedded charges with accumulating interest—but still, I wouldn’t change the cost even if I could, which I can’t .
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There are certain steps that must be taken today. There is no return-of-goods counter—just a “you buy it, you own it” policy with fine print I didn’t read then and don’t want to read now. I know I must hem the predestined pleats and complicated seams, iron out past and future wrinkles caused by sitting still too long, air out the fabric so it remains pure and air fresh. Meanwhile, even though I’m dressed to the hilt, I’ll still carry those sticks near and far, carry them because I freely picked them up to begin with, and I will never fail to hold onto even the smallest branch. I’ll be taking one step after another on my way to town, even though the one-day- all-out tag sale is for naught.
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If destiny has another plan, I’ll be there, waiting first in line for the doors to open. But there is no special sale on this day. There is no discount or resizing that can make this anything other than what it is. It is not that. It is only this. And what it is is so inestimable I will spend the better part of my life on the budget plan, making regular payments into an account where withdrawals will be scarce, but worth every penny. I can purchase only what I have paid for, and I can take home only certain sizes even if they’re wrong for the circumstance. I came here freely and knowingly. I knew then there was no warranty, but the fit was so exquisitely perfect I made a deal with destiny. I would carry the sticks and accept the conditions in exchange for the moments when the fit came straight from God’s designer.
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Meanwhile, under a canopy of shining stars, we dance and then we linger. And then, always once more, we are free.