Given what is,
What am I to do?
.
I'm still thinking about this, still appreciating and reviewing so many of your great comments.
Here's a little more I learned that night about acceptance and choice:
1. Accept FIRST. Don't get fooled into believing first you choose, and then you accept what you've chosen. Accept first and THEN ask "What am I to do?"
2. When you have profound acceptance, you WILL act.
3. Acceptance is an internal and passive process. As hard as it may be, when you accept, you do it unconditionally and totally. You might be sad or disappointed or lost, but you accept what is.
4. Choice is an external (in-the-world) active process. As hard as it may be, when you choose, you do it with conditions and discernment. You might be sad or disappointed or lost, but you choose what to do.
5. Acceptance is spiritual; choice is human.
6. You don't create acceptance: it already exists and you allow yourself to become alligned with it.
8. You do create choice: you sort through your options and initiate the one you think is best at the time.
Why am I pondering this? Well, I wish I could change a couple of things. Maybe someday there will be the ending I propose. But until then, let me accept the way things are today and then, with a wide heart and open eyes, freely and consciously, make choices. And after that, when I can see the results, accept again. And choose again. And accept again. And choose again..
What am I to do?
.
I'm still thinking about this, still appreciating and reviewing so many of your great comments.
Here's a little more I learned that night about acceptance and choice:
1. Accept FIRST. Don't get fooled into believing first you choose, and then you accept what you've chosen. Accept first and THEN ask "What am I to do?"
2. When you have profound acceptance, you WILL act.
3. Acceptance is an internal and passive process. As hard as it may be, when you accept, you do it unconditionally and totally. You might be sad or disappointed or lost, but you accept what is.
4. Choice is an external (in-the-world) active process. As hard as it may be, when you choose, you do it with conditions and discernment. You might be sad or disappointed or lost, but you choose what to do.
5. Acceptance is spiritual; choice is human.
6. You don't create acceptance: it already exists and you allow yourself to become alligned with it.
8. You do create choice: you sort through your options and initiate the one you think is best at the time.
Why am I pondering this? Well, I wish I could change a couple of things. Maybe someday there will be the ending I propose. But until then, let me accept the way things are today and then, with a wide heart and open eyes, freely and consciously, make choices. And after that, when I can see the results, accept again. And choose again. And accept again. And choose again..
So I guess what I find myself wondering is how would one achieve acceptance? How would one cultivate it within?
ReplyDeletekj, have you heard of acceptance and commitment therapy? you might be interested in it...you can google it to learn more. it's good stuff (my opinion). :)
ReplyDelete~ruby
I too was thinking it's good you are writing it down, but you ARE a writer :)
ReplyDeleteMmm. Sounds as though you're going through some static. But you're right ... we do choose and you are choosing to make your path (forced or not) easier by learning acceptance.
ReplyDeleteEasier said than done sometimes but I do wish you well my friend.
For me acceptance is a neutral state. It acknowledges what is with neither a good or bad label. Unfortunately, I rarely achieve that state, but I'm trying.
ReplyDeleteFor me, a goal would be the statement "I accept what I have chosen" as opposed to "I did this to myself"
blogger ate my comments, so let me say thank you for your comments.
ReplyDeletegj, i meditate, though not enough
ruby, the book's on order!
hopeful, nice to hear from you.
anon, birds accept. so do snails!
bibi, as always you are wise and delightful.
debra kay, acceptance first. than choice. that's what i'm learning...
:)
Am still digesting this but it is really interesting (hubby and i had a discussion about it). But how do you accept before choosing?
ReplyDeleteYou've said it perfectly, KJ, but I know a lot of people who never ever will accept things as they are. They keep on fighting.... and sometimes I have to think of the man who fought windmills: Don Quichote.
ReplyDeletehow do you accept what is? sometimes so painfully. or sadly. or defiantly. but once you accept, you are empowered to make choices from that.
ReplyDeletei think meditation helps. that's all i can add. for me it just helped ALOT to know that tfor peace, acceptance comes before choice, not after..
I sometimes feel like the human condition is to 'control' everything - even things that are beyond control.
ReplyDeletejoy, yes, we're prone to try to control everything.
ReplyDeleteHmmn.. I s'pose I should accept that I'm lazy, seeing as how I choose not to do a darn thing about it (grin).
ReplyDeleteSorry..
Yes, on a more serious note acceptance, embracing what is, prevents battling against the inevitable (and draining precious energies). Choice empowers us to decide what we want to do with what already is, in order to shape it in to what we want it to become. Good luck with your choices, I am sure they will be wise.
To have to choose is never easy.
ReplyDeleteOr is it?
I guess it depends.
I choose much to fast most of the time.
But important is making the right choices concerning things that are really important.
Too many people doubt about things that are not worth while thinking about.
Humans after they are born can choose anything. The only people who cannot choose are the unborn children.
ReplyDeleteOK, I'm thinking about this as it relates to two things that are weighing heavy on me at the time. Not being able to get pregnant and not being able to sell my condo. So if I accept that this is just the state of things now, I can then choose how to react on it. Hmmm, it really does make sense.
ReplyDeletewhen you have no choice you really begin to realize what having a choice is!
ReplyDelete