More More More More Novel in a Paragraph

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A word of explanation: I am writing a novel where short snippets will hopefully tell a story all by themselves but will also combine with other short snippets to reveal a deeper story. Here in my blog, perhaps once a week, I will share a few snippets, but in no sequence for logical order. That part comes much later.

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Tipping Point

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The tipping point came about because of the Girl Scouts. Catherine mentioned she had been a Troop Leader in Malaysia.

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“The girl scouts,” Casey laughed, “That’s worse than being a Republican.”

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The response was immediate. “Listen Casey, what the frick is your problem with the Girl Scouts? They help girls all over the world.” Then Catherine added, “I am still a card carrying active Girl Scout.”

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Casey could not muffle her laughter. That was her second mistake.
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“If you can’t handle that, I have nothing more to say to you. We are too different, that’s all. So there,” Catherine was furious.

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Casey tried to interrupt several times. She apologized. She said she had been thinking of the Boy Scouts, not the Girl Scouts. She ever so gently raised the issue of homophobia, her third mistake: all in the span of 15 seconds.

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“What are you talking about?”, Catherine screamed, “We don’t talk about sex with the girls. We don’t ask about sexual preference. That whole subject would never come up. These are little girls. They don’t even know that word. Are you crazy?”

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Steaming, Catherine hung up with a bang. When she called back within the hour, she and Casey seamlessly transitioned to talk about art and recipes and the impossibility of finding love and levity through the internet.

Animal Wednesday: Emily the Emerging Poet

wrobin, see?
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Hee Hee it's me.

Emily.

This is a poem.

I hope you don't moan.

It's spring and I'm happy

I feel silly and snappy.

I can teach you boo hoo

if you don't know what to do.

I can show you my stash

of jellybeans I eat fast.

I have recipes for people stew

but kj said not to.

Just because I'm small

I'm still a know-it-all.

Sometimes I sing

When I want something.

And sometimes I just grin.

I am trying to rhyme

it's hard not to whine

while I rhyme

at least sometime.

Do you know Pam's skellies

Go well with my jellies?

And do you know a good story

about Owen and Lori?

What about Lololo

where will she go

on Saturday

is she coming my way?

And my friend Marianne

who has a new plan.

I know all of this

because I really don't miss

what's going on

while I tag along.

This is the end of my poem

did you moan?

I didn't swear or whine

And I still had a good time.
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Sincerely,

Emily V.V. Rabbit

Three Weekend Visitors

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Mr. Cardinal

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Mr. Bumblebee
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Mr. Baby Drew
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The little things?
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They aren't little...
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note to kj, take a photography class!
you may have unactualized potential...

Saturday

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I love it when I get to see where someone I care about lives. I hope I don't bore you showing you my yard, which is where I've spent the day today.

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This is the side yard and this is JB's studio, called the Magic Cottage. When is warm enough to wear short sleeves and cold enough to be comfortable, like today, JB and I love the process of opening up and welcoming the yard after a snow filled winter. We bring out our lawn furniture and check out every plant and bush and tree.

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Last year I planted a couple of small trees; the front one is a peach tree. I have never planted any kind of fruit tree before and the branches were so full of peaches everything ended up on the ground. So today I pruned. I kept the stronger branches and cut all the little ones. My fingers are crossed.

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Like blogging, I am determined not let gardening be anything but fun. I don't mind taking my sweet old time. Today I cut back a bush that hadn't been touched for years, raked up the leaves all under it, mixed a wheel barrel of top soil and manure (I don't touch) and peat moss, planted three lilies, and turned over and mixed the soil in my backyard flower bed.
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JB did even more.
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And we hauled up our patio furniture, opened the umbrella, spread out the cozy chairs, and did a little planning and planting and pruning in a few areas, here and there.

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We had lunch and dinner outside.

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We bought perrenials at a church fair.

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JB put these azaleas in water. I don't know if floating them like this will work, but my picture doesn't do it justice. Beautiful and serene.

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How often do I take a break in one of these chairs? Very often.

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The back yard slowly came to life today. There is so much landscaping to be done, but I'm in no rush. I tackle little sections at a time, like my Mother's theory of cleaning 'one wall at a time.'
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Aaaaah. Agggh. Some rain must fall even on a fine day. This is our new floor in the very tiny laundry room. You can see our royal blue washer and dryer, which just arrived yesterday. So far so good. But....our trusty carpenter has been preoccupied with another project. He has squeezed us in and hasn't been his thoughtful reliable self. He was not here when the electrician put in the new plugs or when the plumber set up the new water thingy.

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The hole for the vent was cut in the wrong place on the floor. The outlets are too high so the plugs and wires show. The back door barely opens past the washing machine. We emptied our kitchen cabinets waiting for a cabinet removal that hasn't happened. The house is kind of a mess.

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Really, we've been pissed. And sad that this hasn't been the fun we expected. JB and I love making improvements to the house, especially when we don't have to do any of the work ourselves!

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But things happen. This is a guy who's been good to us. I keep telling myself: this is not a serious illness. This is not living an oppressive country. This is a little laundry and kitchen remodel. This is a person I think will make things right.

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I feel very mature saying this! I am trying to keep things in perspective these days.

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It's been a beautiful day. I have been outside all day doing what I love with a woman I love.

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I am not complaining. Not today. But since I am a very experienced and skilled and dedicated complainer, maybe tomorrow....

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Love

kj

A Heart on the Cutting Board

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I'm in search of hearts these days.

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And as usual, I'm thinking.

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When a heart "breaks", I have this image

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of shards imploding and landing

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all over the place.

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And someone moving to and fro

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trying to pick up the broken pieces.

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And then hoping they fit back together again.

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But what if hearts don't break like that?

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What if they stretch when they break?

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What if in time they heal

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with new and extra protective skin?

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What if there is more room for love

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than there was before?

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What if, when grief has its way

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and time finds its rhythm,

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What if you end up loving

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more than ever?

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Is this what's happening to me?

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I like the sound of that.

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Very much I like the sound of that.

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of course,

to be continued....

'Someone's Dog'

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You know how there are some wake-up moments in life when you can't pretend or hope anymore? Some months ago I had one of those moments lying on the floor with my dog Stella.
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Stella came to our home with a broken back. She had been rescued from the streets after a few months of what I imagine for her was utter confusion. It took almost two years before we could touch her without her tightening up. She is the first dog I have ever had who has a real dog bed, bought to make her orthopedic problems more comfortable. It is her safe haven and she loves it.
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Maybe because of her orthopedic problems or because she had never been a house dog , you have to lie down on the floor with Stella to cuddle and get physically close. Sometimes I just lie there with her, rubbing her neck and ears, and I tell her that she is forever safe and loved here. I tell her there will always be cookies.
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I remember someone else lying down with Stella. She had been afraid of dogs and she and Stella broke bread together in that lovely dog-human sort of way. I remember how gentle Stella was with her each time, how sweet and soft and patient.
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One day Stella stopped being Stella and instead was called 'someone's dog'. When I saw her referenced in that way, first I froze in disbelief and then I reluctantly understood.
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"She called you 'someone's dog." I am lying beside Stella on the floor on her bed and I whisper, "Stella, you are a wonderful dog. I won't let words like that find me anymore."
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Today Stella underwent tests for a small lump in her leg and a sudden limp that hasn't gone away. It is a mast cell tumor which must be removed. She is an old girl and we are not yet certain that the cancer has not spread, but we are told she has a reasonable chance for an excellent recovery.
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Before the test results were back, I spent today worrying about the worse possibility. I am hopeful tonight and we will take it one step at a time.
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I lay with Stella again tonight, we two stretched out on her bed, and I remembered that other moment. "'Someone's dog', my ass", I said. She will never be 'someone's dog'. She is Stella, MY dog. She is loyal to the ends of the earth and I maybe that's why I love dogs so much. In my world loyalty has the weight of gold. Within reason. Dogs know that. And so do I.
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Butt Is It Art?

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Given that I am a bit of a prude, how is it that I am conducting yet another sex survey? I must have been less shy last year. The survey this year feels like putting my ass on the line, which fortunately I am sometimes willing to do for educational or entertainment purposes. :)

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I have not decided whether to include most or all of last year's questions. Many of my beloved friends and visitors took part last year, and I am the lucky beneficiary of many new friends and visitors this year. So I want to shake things up a bit, and yet, it's hard to top last year's questions and answers.

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So..... this got me thinking, which is always dangerous!

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I am hereby SOLICITING questions from anyone who would like to know anything that is directly or remotely relevant to a good interesting honest sex survey! The time is now. The place is here.

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Please leave your question(s) here in my comments. You can do this anonymously if you prefer. (or if you are really shy you can email me). Please ask anything you would like to know. (I reserve the right to screen questions: I can't handle explicit explicit details and I don't think most of you can either).

The survey will likely be showing up sometime within the next week.

TADA: There will be one new addition to kj Babe's Second Annual Sex Survey: a special prize for the best answers. Last year Soulbrush would have won hands down! This year that special person will receive a handmade pin that can be worn with both casual and formal attire:

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This pin is part of a Butt Is It Art series down by a very funky and very fun Provincetown Cooperative artist named Lee Nemmers.

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Okay, I'm ready for questions now.

.Love kj

The Little Girl

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About two weeks ago I started looking for a story I wrote several years ago called "The Little Girl," but to my surprise I haven't been able to locate it anywhere.

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Until now.

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For unrelated reasons, tonight I decided I would go into my blog archives and look up the post I wrote exactly one year ago. I had no idea what it would be, but I've been traveling through a pretty significant transformation with a suitcase of sadness for the past couple of years and I wondered if by looking back a year I would be reassured that I still believe in deep love. (I do.)

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So when I located my post of one year ago I found the story of the little girl. This is a true story in honor of my Mother.

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I no longer give coincidence the weight I used to, so I have no doubt that this has appeared to me at just the right time. I thank you for the chance to share it.

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Love

kj

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The Little Girl

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The little girl left for school every day wearing some derivative of a red plaid dress with a black pattern leather belt that matched her shoes and her folded down white cotton ankle socks.
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Every day, usually just before she arrived at school, and sometimes during recess, she threw up. Every day she walked back home because she had soiled her dress or socks or coat, and on really bad days, everything.
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When the little girl opened the back door and and stepped into the kitchen, her mother was there waiting, ready to hug her and tell her how brave she was. She helped her little daughter change into a set of fresh clothes that were already laid out on the back of the kitchen chair, and within five minutes, she was on her way back to school, where she was the teacher’s favorite and popular and comical among her peers.

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The little girl is now a mother herself. She cannot imagine having the patience to clean vomit and prepare a second set of dress clothes every day. She loves her own daughter, but she cannot imagine this level of enduring patience. When she tells her friends about her childhood nervousness, she holds back tears when she says that her mother’s message—in word and deed—was that she was a courageous and strong little girl, never a shameful or difficult problem.
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The little girl who is now an adult knows that this message resonates with her still, and maybe that is why she is able to take risks and engage in life even when she throws up.

Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit's Year in Review

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Hello Everyone, it's me, Emily. I have been in Cleveland again visiting my favoriteUncle who is manufacturing jellybean pellets and I have been advising him on colors and favors, even though the pellets are actually grey we are coloring them and then adding sugar so no one will know that they are actually rabbit pellets and I am sure I won't get in trouble like I did at the church meeting because I am really just giving advice and Uncle Bunny usually knows what he is doing so I hope so.

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I thought I would show you some of my year in review today because I don't want anyone getting the idea that I am not a very versatile little rabbit with plenty of friends. I also thought I would give you some free advice because it is now springtime and I am in a good mood.

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Remember when I invested my money in the Stockpile market and they wouldn't give it back to me after they lost it? I still don't know why they put my money somewhere and then couldn't find it.

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My advice: Save a certain amount every week or every paycheck and let it grow somewhere even if it's in your sock drawer, because kj did this with her $ 20 bills and when she finally opened her piggy bank she was rich and she went on vacation.

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Or you could use some of your money and be nice by sharing it with someone who needs it because remember when we did this a while back and we raised money for acting lessons for a 13 year old girl and some money for Dreams International too and everyone was happy because it felt so good plus it was helpful? I myself have to save my money for my jellies and chocolate pretzels but I am happy to collect money for someone else and I might do it again so maybe you should save some in case I ask again soon.

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My advice: don't be too cheap when it comes to other people because kj says you never know...

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I don't like to brag that I am kind of famous because my Uncle Bunny was almost best friends with Janis Joplin but in case you didn't already know here is proof. Unfortunately Uncle Bunny got his heart broken anyway (not by Janis) which was very sad for a long time until he decided there was nothing he could do about it and then he took a yoga and meditation course which he said helped him and it probably did because he is now dating a model named Lucille and she seems to like him because he has a sneaky smile when ever he sees her.

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My advice: try to have at least one friend who might be famous but definitely don't have friends who don't care about your feelings or your heart and try to pick people who make you at least secretly if not sneakily smile at least some of the time.

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Boohoohoobooheehooboohoo! Remember when I got arrested? I am still very upset about it. It's a good thing it hasn't stopped me from getting in trouble in general because even though I would not want to end up in jail again I can't imagine not enjoying myself even if it means I might get caught or some mean person might not be nice to me for their own strict reasons.

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My advice: Always make sure you play enough, even if someone else doesn't like it.
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I don't want anyone to get the idea that I am not physically active but it's not my fault that I got kicked off the soccer team because the way they were playing was so boring and who would want to just kick a ball if you could have fun socking the people who get in your way and try to take the ball away from you and they are not even polite about it?

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My advice: Don't let anyone sock you around unless you don't mind and even then make sure you can sock them back; otherwise it's not fair.
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See that purple mark next to Mr. Budda? I have no idea where it came from or why, other than it matches my purple bikini but I'm not sure what that even means. Anyway, after Uncle Bunny started meditating I told kj to meditate too because her heart is still flying and fluttering around sometimes and even though she needs to move on about the friend who wasn't a friend she is still learning how and don't you agree that meditation is a good way to do that?

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My advice: OHM...oHM.....ohM. Breathe in, now out. OHM....
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Do you have your own dragon? So you know any dragons? Because they can be very helpful if you want to fly or you need to scare someone or even if you just want interesting company sometimes.

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My advice: It's good to have a variety of friends and even better if they are different than you because even though I myself cannot blow smoke from my nose or use my tail to knock grass out of the way I can enjoy hopping on my friend's back like this and playing and by the way she rarely gets mad so I don't see the smoke very much, which is good because once she melted all the candles on kj's porch and guess who got blamed for it?

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Speaking of friends, this as you might know is Muck, Truck and F___ Duck. kj still says I can't say "Fuck" but jeez if it's your name what are you supposed to do? Anyway, we play at the beach and I bob on their backs and they are very good and fun friends even though sometimes they talk too much.

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My advice: See above: friends who are different from you keep you bobbing and hopping and flying.
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Here I am pretending I am on a tropical island and of course I am wearing my purple pokadot bikini, which by the way I am replacing this year but I'm not sure with what. I am open to suggestions, but the point is it's good to wear things that you look good in and not things that make you look mean or frumpy.

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My advice: Clothes make the rabbit....
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Here I am gallivanting in the world with kj while she is working. Sometimes I sneak into her car when she doesn't invite me and while she is seeing clients I wander around people's backyards and check out who lives there. I like doing this because a lot of people where kj works are all different colors: black and brown and yellow and white and even orange.

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My advice: do whatever you can to keep your life colorful.

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Okay, now I am exhausted. This was a lot of writing, don't you think?

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I hope you like my advice just in case I start charging for it, but so far I am doing fine with my plan to plant my garden and of course borrow whatever else I need from other people's garden..

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I hope you are having fun. If you aren't having fun just don't forget to whine, kick high, and cry from your stomach. If you need another lesson, you can tell me.

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Sincerely,

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Emily Rabbit

Let There Be Light

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Honest to God, it's looking out

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an airport bathroom window at 5 AM

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HAHAHAHAHA!

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kj's Second Annual Sex Survey

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soon.

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HAHAHAHA!

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Just a relaxing night at # 9

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The colors and circles only come out when the light is turned on
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Cameras and lighting can make

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hallways look better

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than they really are :)
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No more snow.

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It's Spring in New England

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and the light wants to shine....

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Happy start of a new week,

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Love

kj

Happy Happy Bitchday

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Happy Bitchday to you,

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Happy Bitchday to you,

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Happy Birthday dear everyone

Happy Bitchday to you.

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Saturday, April 10th, Sunday, April 11th,

and Monday, April 12th are hereby acclaimed

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HAPPY BITCHDAY

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On this specially designated holiday you are

hereby allowed to bitch.

You are allowed to swear if needed,

to stomp your feet and pound your fist,

to complain endlessly, and,

best of all,

to expect total sympathy.

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Our beautiful and bodacious bunch of international blog friends

and buddies dress up for a rare group (bitch) photo
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Please Bitch Away Now.
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I think we'll all feel better afterwards.
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Love
kj

Thursday 13: Growth

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1. This quote is on each of my friend Kris's emails. I'm sharing it because I keep thinking about it and I know it's true:

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"nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in a love quite absolute, final way. what you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. it will decide what gets you out of bed in the mornings, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you.

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fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything. pedro arrupe, s.j.

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2.This has been an ambivalent week. JB and I have been alternately sick. I only missed one day of work but I've been dragging. Today I'm much better I'm also trying to calm my ego into a state of "ignore, it's not about you".

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This is also the week that almost everything changed in my yard. April is my favorite month by far. The daffodils are open, the tulips are preparing, the trees are donning leaves, and the buds are getting ready.

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It is a time for new growth and renewal. The colors and pops of spring helps me do that.

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3. Remember my Mother and her "Messy Christmas"? Today something just as funny happened. I have a ten year client we so art therapy together. She was making a birthday card for her four year old brother. She was careful and colorful, writing each letter and drawing three pictures inside the card: her brother, her self, and in between a birthday cake.

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On the outside she wrote in big letters: HAPPY BITCHDAY

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I didn't tell her....

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4. I love shadows.
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5. The sun has been out for three days and the yellow and pink and purple colors are coming fast. This azalea bush also opened today and assures that we will have fresh cut flowers in the house this weekend.
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6. This is for Robyn and Lori. It is called" Fluffy Erection."
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7. This appeared his morning in my front yard. These are hosta leafs breaking through the ground. The leafs come up like little missiles and will each be some shade of large oval green leaves.
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8. Have you ever wondered what actress or actor you would choose to play you? I thought of this tonight and I should probably be too embarrassed to say this out loud, but in the role of me I would want Julia Roberts or Meredith I-can't-remember-her-last name from "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" and the Today Show.
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9. This is the back side of my house. I am landscaping like a snail and I'm feeling no pressure. There are two things I've promised myself I will do out of love and not out of obligation: gardening and blogging.
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11. These are JB's grasses. By July they will be very green and very huge and some of them very willowy. When Mr, Ryan comes to visit we play hide and seek and run through the grasses. Looking at the shape of them now, what a miracle, huh?

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12. This is a picture of a bribe! The four houses that comprise our cul d'sac (how do you spell that? I should know...) are not happy that a round-about (rotary) is being built quite close to our street. It is expected to take 18 months to finish at a cost of $ 2 million dollars. We fought for a simple streetlight and I think it will be shown that simple would have been much better.

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Anyway, a strip of grass on the street side of our fence is going to be temporarily used as a path for walkers and bike riders to enter the park next door and avoid the construction. The chief engineer or manager or whatever he's called said he will try to make things as easier and less disruptive as possible for us. I met him yesterday and I have to admit he was a charmer and a willing listener.

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So this morning he dropped off this magnolia bush (I think it's a bush. Does anybody know?). Kind of a gift. Smart man, wouldn't you say?
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13. I was in a high school today and I saw this sign on the wall:

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Love All

Trust a few

Harm None

William Shakespeare

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Did Shakespeare actually write this?
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Thank you for your visits and your friendship.

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I am forever appreciative.

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Love

kj