Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Backing Up

I'm on a wild ride. 

About a month ago I started having significant back pain that has increasingly (and painfully) affected standing and walking. It's a slipped disc. This would be a big deal for anyone but is probably less so for me because I don't mind being sedentary. I'm happy to sit on the couch, work on my novel, read books, cruise social media, play pretend slot machines. But this is different.

For one thing, I turned 70 in August. This is probably the first time I've announced that publicly because 70 sounds pretty serious. I've noticed that sometimes kind people offer me their seats on buses and in waiting rooms. Sometimes, probably because even before my latest bout with pain, my back announces I'm creaky in my movements. So combine this new age with an impairment that is (luckily) my first big medical challenge and I'm a novice feeling my way.

I've had shots and consults and prescriptions. If I don't have relief in the next week or so, I'm headed for a surgical consult and it would be a biggie: probably a laminectomy and fusion. It's a 3-4 hour surgery and I'm told recovery is painful and extensive--3-6 months. That route will gobble two full seasons of my life.  Plus, major surgery has obvious risks. 

I am fortunate I have a partner who is able to help me in a thousand ways. She is currently cooking us three meals a day, bringing me ice packs, supervising our new puppy (yes, a puppy) who arrived a few weeks before the slipped disc, proofing my manuscript, and watching Netflix with me.

I woke up one morning a couple of weeks ago and reminded myself that my attitude matters as much as my effort. I'm determined to stay positive, and to WAIT TO WORRY. I'm also forcing myself to a pool a few times a week (I hate it) to counter the weakness that comes from not moving. 

And: I'm actually finishing my manuscript. Finally. For real. Even preparing my query letter for an agent or publisher. This time of forced solitude and sedentary sit-downs hasn't been all bad. It's also scared me enough that I'm losing the weight I've needed to lose for years.  I'm going to do that. I'm envisioning that there will be an endpoint where I'm healthier and stronger. Wouldn't I love to dress like the cool hip woman I want to be. :^)

I have a doctor here in Provincetown who reminds me that 70 in Provincetown is 50 anywhere else. A few months ago I asked him why I've had so many medical issues in the last year or so when I've never had any before. He smiled, "I'd say you should be grateful. Most people start to decline when they hit 50 and you've had a good 20 years without problems. So you're playing a little catch up, that's all."

He is a good doctor. I'm lucky in that department also. So far: Optimism reigns. 

love
kj




14 comments:

  1. A slipped disc is painful but it's good that it's forced to you to sit down and finish your manuscript:)

    I hope it improves without surgery. Take care.

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    1. Hi Deb, thanks. You’re right about the manuscript. It feels good.
      Love kj

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  2. Go KJ! I love this attitude. You will be well soon. And Congratulations on turning 70. Take Care!

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    1. Thanks hdwk. It’s nice to hear from you. Lovekj

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  3. Optimism reigns...Karen, where were you when I was trying to think of a good blog name? :-)
    A slipped disc, sounds painful but correctable! Hang in there!
    Thank God for your partner taking such good care of you.
    Stay strong and positive, I know you will. xx

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    1. Hi Kay, back surgery is tricky but i’m Keeping my mind calm and will do my best to be strong going into it. One step at a time. Good day yesterday, poor day today.

      I hope all is well with you.
      Love
      kj

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  4. Oh, how could I forget to say this: CUTE PUPPY!

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  5. I would get two surgical consults; I would choose doctors who have positive Internet ratings,;and I would ask everyone I knew for a recommendation. Peggy had slipped disk surgery seven weeks ago, and is doing fine, but her problem was relatively minor compared to what you're describing. Are you sure you're not getting ahead of yourself in forecasting such a drastic surgery, and have you tried to determine how many people it actually helps? Back surgery probably has the highest failure rate of any surgery, so I plead with you to do everything you can to go into this with your eyes open. Given how much pain you're in, why not go ahead an make an appt with a surgeon? If your area is like mine, you might have to wait a month or two to even be seen, and if a miracle should happen, you can always cancel.

    Back problems are a bear. I broke my back three years ago and have been in pain ever since, but I declined having surgery based upon my utter lack of faith in a good result. I have had cortisone shots, and some other kind of injection which I'm sad to say I don't remember the name of. Another thing you might consider if you don't want surgery is seeing a pain specialist.

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  6. Hi snow, thanks for great advice. I unfortunately have followed everything you say: I’m treated by a physical medicine pain physician, i’ve Had an MRI, had both facet joint and epidural injections, taking anti-inflamatories, seen a chiropractor, had an ortho evaluation, and am scheduled in 2 weeks to see a top ortho surgeon at the top New England baptist hospital. I know about failed back surgery by the hundreds because i’m A rehab professional and i’ve Seen more failures than successes.

    But. The MRI shows a deep impingement and possibly and maybe probably i have to consider surgery. I would be most unhappy with the pain and limitations I currently have. So it’s one step at a time for me.

    I’m determined to do what I can and deal with it with strength. Who knows: i might end up in better shape! I’m losing weight and it’s about time.

    Your guidance is spot on, snow. Thank you xo

    I hope Peggy recovers nicely and I hope you are both well.

    Love
    kj

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  7. My sympathy! I've had three shoulder surgeries that took upwards of a year (and longer in one case) to recover from, yet I still have shoulder pain and have to guard my shoulders. I had a knee replacement last August (I had been having knee pain since 1986), and I'm still worse-off than before the surgery. I've had upwards of 20 surgeries of one kind or another, and what they've taught me is to mistrust surgical solutions as other than a last ditch effort. That said, Peggy's back pain started in September, and she was in so much pain that she had surgery (for a slipped disk and an extruded disk) in December because she couldn't stand the pain long enough to get a second opinion. Her pain is completely gone, and her only remaining problem is impatience with the schedule that she was told to follow before returning to full use. I feel about surgery about like I do about moving investment money because no matter what I move I make, it seems to turn out wrong (I finally took John Bogle's advice and stuck to index funds), and this makes me to go very, very slowly, and only make a move when I feel that I must.

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  8. can't say much more but I love the "Wait to Worry" - that's so good...love and kisses

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  9. Oh dear! Back problems are the worst! I've had slipped discs in both the lumbar and cervical parts of my spine (thanks backpacking) and stand as proof that they can heal, although the recovery is so slow as often to seem non-existent.

    Just looking at those puppy's ears would be enough to brighten my day : )

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  10. Oh KJ back surgery is no joke - I'm so sorry you are headed this way…..yet, you have a pain free life to look forward to, so it will be worth it! Thanks for visiting me the other day - so happy to see you back :))

    By the way, can you share a little about your new novel's plot?

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  11. Your problem with such an extended recovery time is you're going to an ortho rather than a neuro surgeon. Ortho's like hardware, rods,screws,and pain. They love pain because it fills their bottom line.

    I have 5 fusions, 4 cervical and 1 lumbar--recovery time from the fusions was easier measured in days--like 14. Up and walking no braces neck or lumbar within 5 hours post surgery.

    Contact Randy Gehring in Indianapolis and ask him for a reference for someone in your area. IF you have nerve impingement you do not want an ortho messing around in the nerve bundles.

    https://www.healthgrades.com/physician/dr-randy-gehring-2ky8l

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