Wednesday, December 14, 2016

My Mom



There was never a time
Those last seven years
When your smile was lessened 
By any fear.
You moved to a place
Far away from your home
You knew not a soul 
And you moved in alone.
A walker, a wheelchair, your memory gone
Yet whenever you saw me it was like a new dawn.
You'd ask, “How did you even know I was here?”
And I learned the right answer, I learned to be clear:
“I will always know Mom, there will never once
When I don’t know where to find you, not a day or a month.
Always you'd greet us, so happy and kind;
Every day you lost memory, but never your mind. 
You died with such grace, Mom,
No complaint or false fright
We watched you breathe softly and pass into the night.
It’s been two years already, 
 I’m so proud who you are
And I know there’s a card game
Taking place on a star.

15 comments:

  1. It is a good sentiment and creates a wonderful feeling kj.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you, mark. much appreciated.
      love
      kj

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. thank you, 8. thinking of you and wishing you a wonderful holiday.
      love
      kj

      Delete
  3. Wow. That is just beautiful. Your mom raised a good woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you, birdie. I had a good mom.
      love
      kj

      Delete
  4. Oh dear, is it already two years ago that your mother passed away? Of course I did not know her personally, but from your stories here I learned she was a kind happy soul and you did a very good daughter-job, Karen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Two years! Oh, my god, I can't believe it.

      Delete
    2. hi wieneke, yes, two years. she was a kind happy and witty soul. even with no working memory, she was present and alert and herself.

      i wish i could visit and honor your blog as you do mine, wieneke. you are a good friend and i cherish you.
      love
      kj

      Delete
  5. What a lovely tribute! Enjoy the holidays, and treasure your loved ones near and far.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you rosaria. same to you in every way. i appreciate your wisdom and how you share what you see.
      love
      kj

      Delete
  6. KJ, I am so very glad you could attend your mother’s death. I was present for the deaths of both of my parents, and found it a wonderfully profound experience (though a horribly sad one in one instance and a relieved one in the other). Maybe this will sound trite or callous, but it’s based upon my own experience, for whatever that might worth to anyone other than myself. You are now free to move on, and I got the sense that your mother’s life was becoming such that it would have been unfortunate for everyone had she lingered longer.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Snow, it was a relief in many ways but my Mom was not lingering and it would not have been unfortunate if she had lived longer. She died in a week, the result of a stone where her age of 99 did not allow what would have normally been a simple surgery. I gained a freedom of movement with her passing but I miss her too.
    Love
    kj

    ReplyDelete
  8. I was thinking about her death being two years ago already, and thinking, which was about how long it took me to make peace with the death of my mother. My father was much easier, but now that many years have passed, I tend to miss him more than my mother.

    "She died in a week, the result of a stone where her age of 99 did not allow what would have normally been a simple surgery.”

    I don’t know if you didn’t mention this at the time, or I somehow forgot it (I do know that my memory is slipping). Anyway, it seems so odd to tell someone that what they have will kill them, but that surgery for it would be too dangerous. I knew a man in that situation, and it bothered him a great deal because he was of the opinion that he had rather have one chance out of thousand than no chance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it wasn't a hard decision, snow, because my mom had had stones before and they were increasing. she was too frail for surgery in every way. we hoped the stone might pass and when it didn't, she died in a very peaceful way over several days, surrounded by people who loved her. i knew i would have no regrets and i knew it was the right course and time. this season, i'm thinking about her a lot.
      love
      kj

      Delete