Tuesday, September 06, 2016

The Return of Me

No new photos, no extra wisdom, just a feeling that it's time I checked in here and confirmed that I am finally healthier and more grateful than not.

I'm coming off probably the hardest year, or two, of my life. My mother died, JB's been emotionally unwell, Jess had cancer before they told her it was a misdiagnosis, and my annual physical brought up more body systems with problems than any one person could even have. That last part, except for a painful and stiff back and pelvis, I'm actually alright and every day feeling more like my old self.

                  

JB and I moved to this lovely ocean community just a year ago. Living here in Provincetown, at the land's end, is a dream to many, a goal for many for some day. For us, however, it's been burdensome to live somewhere so special and to have too many challenges and problems to even minimally partake and enjoy its beauty, its light, its people, its zaniness. 

I think that limitation is now changing. Jess is well, JB's improved, I'm okay. This means I've been able to write again. I started my second novel about 18 months I finished my first. Never did I think six years would pass and I would not have finished this story.  It's about an American family and about devotion. Parts of it are funny. 

Now I'm in a groove and if I had the time I could write 12-14 hours a day. As it is, I'm writing regularly and I'm psyched. I have a goal of a finished draft by December. Then I will search for an agent and a publisher. If no one bites, I will publish it myself. 

I am not a great writer. I wish I were, but I'm not. My skills are basic and I lack technique. So I'm not going to be offering a New York Times best seller; I know that. But I care about these characters and I know not to let go of the manuscript until it reads just right to me. I know I will give it my best try and my best work and I'm satisfied with that. 

Otherwise: I am also taking guitar lessons with my nine year old grandson Ryan. And his seven year old brother Drew is taking piano lessons in the next room. After the lesson the three of us walk to the corner for Asian food. This was my idea because the boys come from a sports family and I figure why not push a bit of music too, and who knows, maybe poetry after that? We've had four lessons and the three of us love the whole time together. 

That's it for now. Oh more more thing: the American political situation is bad. I'm very very very hopeful that no one with orange hair gets anywhere near the White House. 

Love love
kj

19 comments:

  1. I'm glad things are looking up! The autumnn P-town will be spectacular!

    Another summer has passed and I didn't make it to the Cape. Priorities.

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    1. i'm ready for a spectacular Fall. It's such a lovely season. Already my mind is planning bread baking and stew making. and planting mums.

      best wishes to you cyndi. next year: the cape!
      love
      kj

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  2. I'm so glad everyone is feeling better.

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    1. thank you, deb. glad for you too
      love
      kj

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  3. I admire you so much, KJ. You keep on keeping on. So glad things are looking up a bit and hope soon you can enjoy the zaniness of where you live.

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    1. suki, that is so nice of you to say. i do try and i do have reasons to keep on. i also appreciate your highlighting the zaniness of this patch of the planet. it is that without a doubt!

      wishing you a wonderful Fall, suki.
      love
      kj

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  4. Good, things are looking up. Down periods are bad but even they have to come to an end sometime, whichever way.

    Good too that you are writing. Nothing like getting your teeth into an obsession, provided it’s a good one. And writing is a good one. I wish I could emulate you, my memoir has been languishing, unfinished, unedited, for a good year now. I can barely make myself blog much less write seriously.

    And about that orange-haired monstrosity, even we over here are dead scared. We have plenty of liars, dissemblers and ignorant creeps of our own, but nobody has yet said that they’d be willing to press the button just to make a point.

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    1. how true, friko, down times either improve or worsen.

      i wrote a significant memoir, fueled by a memoir writing group of four women plus a writing teacher. it was a time my heart had crashed into a wall of thorns. I've since put it away and i have no idea if i'll ever even look at it again. in its place, a novel about christine macabre, her four children, and her sister louise has taken root. in hard times i haven't been able to work on the book, i guess because the characters had no patience with my sadness. but now: It appears i'm ready again. i hope for the best!

      and that creep: i can tell you many many many americans are shocked by all of it. hoping he and his lame bigotry fade into another bankruptcy.
      love
      kj

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  5. Oh my, you had everything thrown at you! Glad you're back and psyched up. Glad you are finding new outlets for yourself and your grandchildren to share; fun, isn't it?
    Looking forward to hear about your new novel.

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    1. rosaria, honestly, it was one crisis after another and all of it overwhelming. i would have a medical test, it would be negative, but two other problems were found that required more tests. and so it went until finally, they finally stopped.

      it is so fun to spend time with the grands. i'm on a mission to create memories with them that will well outlast me.

      love
      kj

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  6. Doing a happy dance here for you and yours.

    I tried balancing the sports with music with my own kids but it didn't seem to stick. But they turned out pretty good anyway : )

    I am voting third party this year. Trump checks none of my boxes and Clinton checks some, but not my most important. I wish we had better choices but as they say, anyone crazy enough to want the job probably shouldn't have it.

    (really truly happy for you kj)

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    1. Hello ms 8, sounds like we're both steadier. Not Trump is my priority so even though I I voted for Bernie, I'm voting for Hillary.

      I know what you mean about sports and music and balance. I can see some difficulty with scheduling already!
      Love love
      kj

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    2. I wish HRC no ill will but I can't help but hope that the universe will re-align and Biden or Bernie will wind up the candidate.

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  7. Want another set of eyes to look over your manuscript?

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    1. Yup, I'd love it. Probably too sophomoric for you, mark, but I'm humbled by your offer. I'll be in touch
      💜Love
      kj

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  8. I'm happy to hear things are better with you. Keep up the writing, it is a laborious but good thing.

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    1. Pieterbie! How great to hear from you! I'll be over your way to catch up on your end.
      Love
      kj

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  9. I’m so glad for your check-in, KJ, and I enjoyed the photo. I also want you to know how touched I was by your three recent comments. I appreciate your appreciation, and I love knowing that I have it in me to offer people things that are of value to them.

    Love,
    Snowbrush

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  10. Snow, sometimes promise and reliability just takes a while :-)

    Keep writing for sure
    Love
    kj

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