Monday, June 13, 2016

The Apartment

Here I am once again lamenting with good reason. A few weeks ago my beloved daughter Jess had a routine procedure and routine labs following a routine flu and to our complete shock she has lymphoma. Cancer. Good God. 

She will have chemotherapy at the renowned Dana Farber Institute and the doctors and pathology reports say the goal is cure. It appears a routine flu that led to a routine procedure and routine labs (we're told) may have saved her life. We are however stunned. Jess has four young children, the youngest is 2, a loving and equally stunned husband, good friends, and wonderful in-laws. But I live almost three hours away complete with summer vacation traffic.

So in fast speed fashion, I started looking for a little space near her that I could rent. She'll need help with the kids and maybe trips to chemo and medical appointments and maybe just knowing her Mother is close by. (I wish I could change places with her: in a flash I would.) 

It turns out apartments close to Boston are not cheap. I called about twenty places and wasn't comfortable with any of them. Except one.

I somehow have secured a studio apartment in a renovated mill building where thirty condominium owners live. They had this community room that nobody used so they decided to convert it to the only apartment in the building. It has the same high end touches that the condos have: exposed brickwork, a private outdoor patio, a granite walk-in shower, central air conditioning, a washer and dryer, a full efficiency kitchen, and  a layout that feels much larger than the studio space it is. I am over the moon with my good fortune. Jess can come here and be sick if the kids are too much  and I am five minutes away. The space has the feel of a New York Soho loft. I imagine I will have time during many days when I will be on my own and I think I may write well here.

The downside to this, besides for the reason I'm here at all, is that JB is back in Provincetown and we will have to figure out when I'm there and when she's here. It will be a challenge. Both of us have been unwell and on edge for our various reasons and Jess with cancer has tipped us perilously close to defeat. But somehow the apartment's helping. As I write this I'm looking out at the stone patio and there are birds and one sweet chipmunk scurrying around. 

I caught a break with this apartment. That's positively good news. And one thing I know about myself: I can build on good news. 

love
kj



33 comments:

  1. Oh, KJ. I am just speechless. I'm sending tons of good vibes, and powerful strong mojo to you and yours.

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  2. Thank you so much 💜. I do believe all will be well.
    Love
    kj

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  3. Oh KJ. AM so sorry to hear the news about Jess. Please know that I will include her healing in our prayers. -- Menchie

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    1. Menchie! I am thankful for whatever has brought you here after all this time. How nice to hear from you. And thank you xoxo. Your little ones are probably not so little, yes?
      Love
      kj

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  4. Blessed be God Forever; blessed be His Holy Name. Lord, Jesus, I lift up to you beloved daughter, wife, and Mother, Jess. I hold her in prayer constantly within Your Eyes, Your Heart, Your Wisdom, Your Holy Healing. You, above all, know the needs of this family and these children. I believe in Divine intervention, I believe in the power of prayer, I believe in The Miracle of You, Lord, Jesus Christ, and Your ability to give Healing and Hope, in Your Most Holy Name I pray. Amen

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  5. Thank you, Deb. You just made me cry.
    Love
    kj

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  6. There is never anything to say when someone gets a diagnosis of cancer. It is just scary and overwhelming. All I can do is send my love and keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers. xo
    (I am glad she has you.)

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    1. thank you, birdie. i appreciate your love and good wishes, which i am confident matter. i will plan to visit your blog soon and i look forward to it. i'm glad jess has me too, and so many other wonderful supports. plus her sense of humor is legendary. she will have some comical moments to tell through this journey.

      love
      kj

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  7. Dear KJ my heart goes out to you. xx I pray you find any joy and peace wherever it is to be found. And strength.

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    1. thanks so much, kay. i believe we will all make it through. it sounds worse than it feels at this early point. my daughter is a spunk. i have so much confidence in her.
      love always,
      kj

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  8. Over the years many of us have come to know Jess and her family almost as near as well as we have come to know you and JB. Let us go through this with you and Jess, or at the least know you all are not alone in this fight and that many of us have both been in the arena and witnessed others in that terrible place.

    Attitude of victory is near as important as the treatments, know I for one will hold this attitude until it is no longer needed. Be Well kiddo.

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    1. Mark, you are such a gem. I love you dearly.
      Love
      kj

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  9. OMG! I'm so sorry Karen. What kind of lymphoma does she have?

    I'm glad you were able to get an apartment close by to be able to help her. That's good that the lymphoma was found so easily. Often our lymphoma patients are very sick when they come to us. They get better too which is lovely to see.

    Take care.

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    1. Deb, B cell non Hodgkins, high grade. The pathology results are apparently atypical and localized in the colon and the docs Re saying 95% cure rate. Jess had a negative petscan which I know says it's not elsewhere. She looks fine and is active except she's more tired than normal. I know high grade has an urgency to it; it's been three weeks, redoing a colonoscopy for more biopsies, and I'll be glad once the chemo is underway. Anything you know that will help me prepare will be appreciated. Thanks Deb
      Love
      kj

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    2. I wish I knew more. I'm sorry. I work in diagnostic imaging so patients come to us for scans and central lines. They're sick when they're admitted and look so much better when they leave. I hope it goes well for your daughter and for you. It's hard watching someone you love suffer. Sending hugs for both of you.

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  10. O dear me, KJ, that is indeed rotten news. Your poor daughter will have a hard row to hoe, but with your support and the support of her many family members and friends she’ll make it through.

    You are a mum in a million, dropping your own life and moving close enough to hear to be of maximum assistance.

    Good luck to all of you.

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    1. Friko, it is my honor and privilege to help my jess and her family at this time. i am so fortunate JB and I are able to absorb the cost of a second place. That option is a gift to all of us. Thank you for your sincere well wishes. You've had some challenges of your own and I take strength from you.
      love
      kj

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  11. Yes, not so little anymore. The first and second are taller than i am. So I am holding on to the littlest one who just turned 7 this year. I've always been around KJ, albeit through feedly. Kisses to you and JB and my continued prayers for Jess.

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    1. It's been almost ten years, menchie, since our early blogging days. I look back on those days so fondly (well, with one highlighted exception!) I became a writer back then…love and best wishes to you and your family always. thanks for your prayers. i know they help.
      love
      kj

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  13. Oh no! I am so, so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you and with Jess and her family as she goes through treatment. ♥

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    1. Thank you, cs. (perhaps not cs now?) It's a rough time. good thing i have optimistic genes. once I get myself on an even keel, i have faith we'll all come through richer and deeper.
      congratulations a hundred times to you and tony.
      love
      kj

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  14. What Deb kiss kiss and The Walking Man said.
    Ditto,,,and me too.
    XO Babs

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  15. Babs, if I were to write you a private e-mail, just between you and me, I would tell you that I have loved you for many years and that your friendship and love gives me strength. I would tell you that I hope you know I am your friend for life and that is one sure thing.
    Love
    kj

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  16. Oh kj, I am just sick to hear this. Know that you and your daughter will be in my prayers.
    So glad you were able to get a decent apartment.
    When I was getting chemo, it was every 2 weeks. Usually the 2nd week was when the bad side effects usually hit, just to give you a heads up. Of course, it could be different for Jess, as I'm sure her chemo is completely different from what I had. Fatigue and body pain (mostly from the WBC shot they give the day after chemo) seemed to be the worst of it. I pray this will cure her. One day at a time.

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    1. thanks so much, barbara. be sure you are in my prayers always as well.
      love
      kj

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  17. KJ, I just read this post and am shocked to hear this news. I am so sorry to hear of the cancer, but so relieved to hear you say that the doctor and path reports say the goal is a cure. Please know that you and Jess are in my thoughts and prayers and I send my love and healing wishes your way. xoxoxoxoxo

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  18. thanks, amanda. we are a close family and have reason to be positive. not the easiest, but not the worse either.
    love
    kj

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  19. Although I have never met Jess.....I know strength runs through her - like it does you - her Mum - and her Grandmum... Sending many, many prayers to all. Hugs, ♥ Robin ♥

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    1. hi there robin, thank you for your comment and prayers; much appreciated. i hope all is well with you,
      love
      kj

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  20. Just saw this post, Karen. I am so sorry about Jess. Sending prayers. But oh so happy you found this lovely place to stay. love to you and your whole family. Suki

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  21. thanks so much, suki. i've been in the apartment for a couple of weeks now and it really is a blessing, a sanctuary in its own way. i'm a bit unwell myself (damn) and i've had time to just veg and sleep. it feels luxurious to me and it's small enough to keep clean and orderly (always a plus.) we don't know about jess' treatment yet so the hard part may be ahead. in any case, i'm glad i'm here and near.
    love
    kj

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  22. KJ, So stunned to check in and find this shocking news. There are no words. Sending love and hugs and prayers. Jess will beat this, I feel it in my heart and you will get through it. Love to the whole family. xoxo

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