Saturday, February 07, 2015

The Turtle and the Duck


Not that I don't have reason to worry. 

It's a fierce winter and pipes can freeze, roofs can leak, power can fail. 

And I'm swamped by real estate matters: caring for our dream house in Provincetown in a blizzard, caring for our house here in Western Mass when we're there not here, my mother's house, should we sell it?, a little condo I bought as an investment years ago that now needs a new kitchen and new windows and a full makeover--$$$ I hadn't expected.

And the Income tax return for last year.

Re-applying and testing to renew counseling license.

I could continue.

It's a time of transition all right. Big and small and many decisions ahead. I am working and and I am yearning and trying to see my Jessica and the kids at least twice a month and I am writing a book. 

And I should say I am going to the gym a few times a week, because I should be doing that, but I can only say that's barely half way true.

Still, last year I made some fine decisions for myself. 

The biggest and best was to start living like a turtle. Turtle Living. This means I still get things done but I no longer let them overwhelm me to the finish, because I do a little here and a little there, sometimes more, trusting that in time I will finish. And I usually do finish. But I don't angst over the weight of the finish line. 

I took care of the garden and the yard and the bills and my work assignments and my chores and my travels this way all last year and I've done fine. So I'm turtling my way through life, officially.

This morning I to my surprise have added another approach: living like a duck. Duck Living

This means I do what I can, or not, when I encounter people or situations that upset me, but then I let the upset roll off my back, like a water off a duck. I am not (as often) holding on to stressful people or events, officially, as of now. I will be polite and forgiving to even difficult people, normally, but I'm moving on from stress or confusion if that's what's best.

I should probably include one other thing that seems to help me humongeously. Each morning, first thing, I spend at least 30 minutes sipping my coffee and reading the newspaper and sometimes just sitting, staring out the window. This sets the tone for my day. Unlike my old way of jumping right in to whatever greets me.

Finally, I am cooking and baking uncharacteristically. And I still feel good about my book. I'm writing and researching and organizing and forcing JB to listen to me read chapters out loud. I have a plot :^)

In a couple of months, I will know more about where I will live and when and why. I will know more about the role of $$$ in my life ahead, and whether or not I will lose the weight I shouldn't be carrying.

In a couple of months, I will still be living like a turtle and living like a duck. It works for me.

And I may add another animal or two.

love
kj

30 comments:

  1. Great life strategies! It took me being homeless and too many years, wasted, on the crazy train to figure them out. I'm holding on to those lessons firmly!!!

    4 feet of snow on the ground north of wormtown and another 18-24" on the way. My first New England winter in 8 years. Whose idea was that???

    Aren't those new knees something in the snow, though????

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    1. hi there cyndi, that kind of life experience in your back pocket can only help :^)

      so you're back in new england and dealing with all this snow? you picked a heck of a year! my knee is doing great. i'm a little more aware of what could happen if i fell, but it's been a good result for sure.

      love
      kj

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  2. This life is an ongoing lesson, yes? Which is a good thing because I like learning:)

    I like the turtle and the duck living. I have to learn to let things roll off my back instead of holding onto them. I'm better than I used to be but I have room for improvement.

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    1. prepare to be a life time learner, deb :^)

      wait to worry. that's also my new aha.

      love
      kj

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  3. Kj, I too live like a turtle and I like the idea of the duck, learning that one.
    If we worried about everything that can happen we would all be crazy. As I read your worries all I could think of was wow, that is a lot of property you own, lucky you.
    Everything comes with a price, I rent and I rent cheap, live in a funky little place, but there is freedom with that, you have many properties, but responsibility comes with that, but I would trade with you if I could. My motto is that shit could be worse, so always count your blessings, it kills worry.
    As for weight, for me I lost weight and keep it off by limiting carbs and sugar and accepting the fact that I will never be as skinny as I wish I were.
    Keep going slow...
    Love, Annie xoxo

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    1. annie, i fully know i am blessed by financial ease; not rich but not worrying. it IS a lot of property. it FEELS like a lot of property. but one thing at a time. i know it will all work out and i know beyond poverty money, with or without it, is not a good enough reason to stress.

      and yes, there is indeed freedom living cheap. i know a little more would make things easier for you and i hope that will be the case.

      and: we both know everything is really all about love…

      love
      kj

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  4. It's kind of funny to think of a turtle, who carries his house on his back, to be "swamped by real estate matters."

    But I think I know what you are feeling. When my mother died I had all sorts of financial issues to deal with that overwhelmed me. Still do. And we also have 2 houses to maintain, but we close the lake house for winter, after a couple of years of frozen pipes. Our only concern now is the snow collapsing the roof.

    I have noticed myself slowing down also. I don't know whether it is health or age related. I guess time will tell but I enjoy the added quiet moments. And now I am thinking of what animal I would compare myself to. A rabbit comes to mind. But a rabbit who takes a lot of naps: )





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    1. hello ms 8, good first point. they must be miniature houses :^)

      i think the slowing down, or the willingness to, is age related. i still think about some challenges i'd like to take on and then i think, 'but that would take a lot of my time..' and i rethink.

      about rabbits: you have not yet met emily v. v rabbit because she has been missing for some time. it's possible she's in jail and i refuse to bail her out yet again. when she does reappear, you will probably know….

      love
      kj

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  5. You know, I was wondering about Emily. Maybe we could start a crowd funding effort to bail her out? Worries ... yes well we all know that worry kills creative constructive problem solving. It's a kind of mental paralysis that sets in once the cycle starts. I like that "wait to worry" idea. Boundaries like that can help. Hope the snow is easing off!
    xx Jos

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    1. jos, it is always a treat when you appear here :^)

      i have a feeling emily is about to show up. where the heck has she been and who has been supervising her?!

      wait to worry has helped me tremendously. i remind myself of that and i smile and say, 'oh, okay'

      love
      kj

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  6. ohhhhh ... guessing that would be a jelly bean crowd funding effort for Ms Emily*!*

    Make sure the turtle does not get flipped and spun by the duck ...especially in the snow and ice - no telling where your decision making for where to live will take you if that where to happen ... grinning.

    Seriously, thats a good way to begin your days kj ... synch your thoughts and body, stay well and focused - it can be stressful with such decisions ahead of you. x



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    1. hi annie, probably jelly beans and avocados :^)

      hmmm, interesting point about a flipped over turtle, as in spinning one's wheels :^) and synching mind and body works wonders for me. ohmmmmm

      love
      kj

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  7. While I like and approve of your amimal tendencies, I think I will choose "Live like a Dog". This means that I will be happy as heck to see friends, welcome new friends and be appropriately skepical of strangers. I will sleep when needed, and when working - will focus as if I had a juicy bone....until of course a friend comes by and I will have to stop working and greet them with wags and kisses. My weight will be perfect because I will get lots of exercise and since I don't have opposable thumbs, will have to rely on someone else to feed me twice a day - and no snacks or treats.

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    1. clever clever clever, mim. of course this gets me thinking about what other animals have to teach and of course that gets me thinking about a book and of course that gets me thinking about about a book with you and of course…….
      :^)

      love
      kj

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  8. I love this KJ. I've been thinking along these lines as well. I recently read that one of the blessings of aging is having the wisdom to let the wild dogs of ambitious willfulness fight elsewhere and to take more time for relaxation.

    You should write a book entitled: Turtle and Duck Mindfulness; I would buy it!!

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    1. ambitious willfulness! amanda, that's interesting. i have it but these days only when it suits me :^)

      a book of animal wisdom: i am loving that idea! see mim's dog above!

      love
      kj

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    2. I think you and Mim should work on this together!

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  9. I've been wondering how the weather was treating you as it all sound bad out your way. I probably about as far north, but I mowed for the first time last week, and most days are in the fifties. I don't remember a warmer winter.

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    1. Snow, we are buried in snow- six feet plus high piles of it everywhere with little room left for more. I miss my backyard terribly. I'd be happy to mow :-)

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    2. Boston is the lead story on the evening news more days than not lately, and I think of you every time I see it. It will be interesting to see what the rest of the winter brings.

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  10. You got me thinking about turtles and ducks and...Perhaps, our constant worries have shortened our lives, or worse, made us sick while living. Something's got to give.

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  11. Rosaria, for you and me: if not now, when?

    So many reasons for concern and yet the vast majority of us are thoughtful and peaceful xoxo

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  12. Wait, why do you have to test to re-new your license?

    A new habit for me that is doing me a world of good - I am starting each morning cuddled in bed drinking coffee. Makes even the busiest day feel a little less rushed.

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  13. cs, it's really catching up on 100 required ceu's that i've failed to keep up with over the five year period. so that means ordering books and taking tests on them :^)

    good mornings !

    love
    kj

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    1. Actually, no books. Just in line reading and testing :-)

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  14. hi babs, how are you? :^) xoxoxoxo

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  15. Live life as a kj, that always seemed to me to be the right pace of the moment. Just don't live life as a yak.

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  16. Mark, I think I complain like a yak :-)

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  17. Snow? We have had last week 2 centimeters of that damned white trouble and now all is gone. Yes! *makes a small dance round table* Sorry Karen :-)

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  18. you are a lucky duck, wieneke. i don't remember ever before being so sidelined by weather. my travel plans are every which way! of course i'm glad for you :^)

    love
    kj

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