Friday, May 23, 2014

What's Going On with Me


1. Friends: I think this is corny but I keep going back to read it because there is something pretty great about having a friend like this. I have friends, good friends. I'm also presently doing some weeding (and being weeded). I don't like short term friendships; I prefer long and loyal. And I want real. And, to be honest, although not tit for tat, I like reciprocal too. One way friendships (one person's energy) are not for me.

I've notieed I'm more willing to cut loose on certain people. I have a preference to hold on so this is a change for me. I want to hold myself to being kind and interesting and loving, but I am working willingly on not caring if someone doesn't like me. I want to say I'm sorry when I should, but it's okay if I don't care enough to hold on.

I have a good friend who is having a terrible time. It hurts me. Someitmes I think I advise when I should just listen. I just hope I help.


2. Last year I neglected my yard all spring and summer because I had a knee replacement. This year I am back to my turtle approach to gardening and yard work: I do it because I want to and I don't let myself get overwhelmed. I just do the best I can. So today JB and I finished the circle around the front yard tree and it is a beauty. Took about 20 wheelbarrows of mulch. Next comes the front of the house, still turtle style. And then, hopefully, the garden.


3. I write about Provinctown a lot because JB and I  now try to spend two long weekends a month there. But I live in a ranch style house with a nice yard and great trees. People tell us that our house is comfy and cozy and it definitely that for me. I love it here especially this time of year. The yard and I are friends. Birds splash in the bird bath. The colors of the blue sky and green trees together just about make me sing.I'll soon have pink zinnias.

This is Memorial Day weekend and that means the kick-off of summer. I want it to be a good one.  Yesterday I read THIS about people who are happy and I'm inspired to be myself.

How about you?

love
kj


24 comments:

  1. Your home does look comfy and inviting. I have no yard at the moment, perhaps in the future. I don't know, but I have filled the pots on my balcony with flowers and tomatoes.

    I read the link about happy people and I have a hard time with the last one, letting other people be who they are so they don't drain my energy. But I'm working on it. Enjoy your summer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Deb, potted plants work just fine.

      I am presently trying to figure out if I am happy. I might be. But not for sure :-)

      Best wishes this summer
      xo
      kj

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  2. I must be one happy ass bas...oh you get the picture. Remember also you neglected my yard all last year too...when can i expect you? and you write about Provincetown so much because your new landed gentry. But it's all good, you stay occasionally with the peasents in your Western MA college town (for now.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mark, I am shocked and orgasmic that I have a house in provincetown--the impossible come true. I also love living within the farms and colleges of western mass. The sad fact is we can't afford both . I stay put because my mother is in such a good nursing home; i can't bare to move her

      As for your lawn, forgive me :-)

      Love
      kj

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  3. HI there - back from travels - good times!! Your friend, Mim

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    Replies
    1. Oh good, Mim ! Please post pictures. And meet me for dinner :-) xoxo

      Love
      kj

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  4. I think I lost my message. It was quite long but I will keep this one short. I'm afraid I may be one of those people that drops in and out. But the past few weeks I have been frequenting a little coffee place in the Berkshires and everytime I'm there you seem to come to mind.I just wanted to check in here and say hi and wish you well! my blog has changed homes so if you go there there is a forwarding link. But no worries if you don't I really did just want to check in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Zoe, I am so glad to see you here. I can't seem to get you on my blog list and that's the reason I don't check in with you, but it's not a good reason. I intend to do better xo

      I'm glad you think of me in a little coffee place. I consider that a sweet high compliment

      Happy summer and love to you, Zoe

      Love
      kj

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  5. I've vowed to myself to be more turtle-like with my new house, Last time, I felt driven to get it all done as quickly as possible and made mistakes as I went. This time I want to feel the fullness of time stretching out ahead of me, and enjoy the process more.

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  6. Good for you, cs. I so agree. I can't wait to see your new house and yard and neighborhood and downtown

    Love
    kj

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  7. Hi Kj,
    Weeding is good, has to be done sometimes. I am a turtle with all things, slow is good, why rush through life? Love the tree.
    I am a very happy person, mostly because I go slow :-), also lots of gratitude helps.
    Happy Summer.
    xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Annie, I just love your attitude. You show up whatever the weather. I am determined not to put pressure on myself doing the things I care about . Some pressure I can 't avoid, or so it seems, but I not to complicate anymore than I have to

      Love
      kj

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  8. P.S. I read the link, I have to agree with it all and except for sometimes wanting approval (but never doing things to get it :-), I would say that I do all those hings to the best of my ability. Living in the moment is the main deal and that goes back to doing things slowly...xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Annie: Be. Here. Now.

      xo

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  9. I've had no flowers for two years. Yesterday I planted one pot. For my Mom.
    I think this must be progress.

    The family in your sidebar melts this heart.

    XO Babs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Babs!!!! xoxoxoxoxo

      One pot is definitely good . It will keep you company. The nursing home where my mother is gave me one petunia--just one from a six pack on Mother's Day, and it is still a flower. I think it should have shiveled by now but it hasn't. A small and real miracle as far as I'm concerned

      I wish we could meet for lunch, babs . I love you xo

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  10. P.S. Babs, I can't believe four children. My Jess is raising a close family. Melts my heart too

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  11. "This year I am back to my turtle approach to gardening and yard work"

    You mean you dig up grubs and eat them? I just hope you get flatworms, or roundworms, or something.

    "Someitmes I think I advise when I should just listen."

    Maybe you should advise less and listen more. At least, that's what I would advise if I wasn't such a good listener....I guess the thing about advice is that it's usually rather obvious, so when someone gives me advice, I tend to wonder what good they think they're doing. I mean, duh, don't they know I'm at least as smart as they are. Getting advice that I didn't ask for this makes me wonder if I should simply thank the adviser and say nothing more, or if I should explain why I'm not already doing as they advise.

    KJ, If I visited you every time I thought about visiting you, I would visit you a lot, but since I'm not blogging as much anymore, I'm not visiting as much anymore. The two just seem to go together. BUT, for whatever it's worth, I do think of you, which means that I'm not ignoring you, I'm not mad, at you, and I haven't lost interest in you.

    As for the chips' response, it's awfully cute, but I interpret it to mean no more and no less than that the speaker is personable. Maybe this is because when I read it, I remembered my former friend Kathy because that was just what she would have said, but this was the same who one day told me that she didn't have any close friends (this would have surprised a lot of people who thought they were her close friends) because close friendship isn't worth the bother.

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    1. snow, been thinking about you. i've read your recent post and there is so much to think about and share back that i again am pondering before commenting. please know that i think about you often also and i care about you as always.

      i find that many 'guru' types who seem to have an easy handle on life's ups and downs can be aloof and alone. and flawed,…. (flawed is a human given)

      i like what you've said about advice. i'm a counselor-type and i think problem solving is in my dna, but you are so right that the advice giver is usually no smarter than the advisee. you said it better than i just did.

      it's spring here, snow, and i hope there too. i hope that means something good for you.

      love
      kj

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  12. Good to come here and catch up how you are doing ;) Happy to read your knee is better and is in shape to let you do some gardening.
    Here we are doing the last things on the renovation of our house and soon I will start working full time . I hope to finish our project soon so I can enjoy the free time I will have and my home.
    We have had a wonderful Spring Now a week of rain , which was much appreciated by nature.
    The cats and doggies are ok and the deer are maybe pregnant......
    Today I will clean the house and tomorrow I am off to Shanghai.
    I loved your link ! There are always some good reminders, things you know and are doing right, things you know and are forgetting to do and things you didn't know yet...... for life's "struggle" for happiness and balance. Sometimes I am there , sometimes not.....
    Enjoy your summer dear in the garden and p town
    love you
    M

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    1. marianne, what a treat to see you on our blogs! i'm glad to hear your huge juggle will soon slow down. life has its struggles. that is for sure. like you sometimes i know and sometimes i forget and some times i have to learn for the first time or for yet another time. i think what matters most is our relationships. i am lucky in that area, even though sometimes i feel pretty alone: our human condition.

      love you always, marianne
      kj

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