Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Untitled




"There must be those among whom we can sit and weep and still be considered warriors."
Adrienne Rich

WARNING: a serious post...

Okay, I admit it: life is hard, the world is a mess, community has broken down, sentient beings suffer.

With all my being I hate to say this. I am by nature an optimist and I am a fortunate person. But two things I can choose to ignore, but at what cost?

The first is I am now old enough to know that the unexpected can happen in a flash, and it can be bad. I know I could die--unlikely but possible; that illness or worse could befell someone in my family; that there are more reasons for low grade constant stress than I ever thought possible back in my innocent childhood when my biggest worry was Joanne Vinci being mean to me.

The second is that so many parts of the world are at war; so many children and families scarred by terror and dislocation and death and loss.  And so many animals--those happy elephants from the circus and those entertaining dolphins at Seaworld and those stray dogs who stay together and those soft rabbits, skinned alive--all these things I once quite naively thought were alright most certainly are not alright.

I am at a point when I have very little to complain about. I don't have to work, although I do and I will. I am emotionally sound and wise, although I sometimes am swayed by pettiness. I am physically healthy, even with my titanium knee and cantankerous back (and, okay, extra weight). I have a family--children, even,-- great friends, a vacation home by the sea, an active and creative mind, the time to write and draw and tend to a garden. 

What shall I do about the elephants and the dolphins and the dogs and the rabbits?  And the missing children and the children in Syria? What shall I tell my mind when I have so little to personally worry about? How shall I spend the time I have and how shall I reconcile that that time is here and now and that time means showing up and doing something I think is good.

I am not writing this as some cathartic exercise. I am writing this because I don't think I'm alone when I ask these questions. 

A good thing I can do for myself, my community, my planet--is to contribute positive energy whenever and wherever I can, and to avoid or lessen negative energy wherever and whenever I can. That sounds so corny but it is true. 

A world at war doesn't diminish the natural beauty of the world or the fact that there are people who do terrible things and thank god there are also people who do wonderful and brave things. Sometimes it's the same person doing both.

I am going to write again. I've begun. If no crisis turns up, I am going to see how much of a writer I can be.

Thanks for listening. Any thoughts?
love
kj


18 comments:

  1. These are questions I wrestle with everyday. We go out for a fancy meal and I churn inside about starving children. We, like you, have a summer home on a lake and I think about all the homeless people. I could drive myself into a deep depression if I let it go too far.

    My mom showed me that although I cannot help the entire world, I can help at least one person. And I focus on that. I do write checks for global problems and we always adopt shelter cats and dogs. But I focus most of my time and energy on doing something more concentrated for a local person. As Mother Teresa said "Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you." It usually works for me. Usually. But I can still work myself into quite a funk about the state of the world.

    And I absolutely agree with you about sending positive energy into the world. Which you do. And one of the many reasons I come here to read your blog. And why I am happy that you are writing again.

    Keep shining!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 8, that last paragraph you wrote has me beaming. thank you xo

      like you, i do my share; i know i do. i think pete seeger also said what mother teresa said. but what the hell has happened on the planet? so much violence and intolerance. how come we're not evolving : our technologies sure are, but matters of the heart and home?

      it's nice to get to know you, ms. 8. best wishes for a fine weekend

      love
      kj

      Delete
    2. I am not convinced that there is more violence and intolerance than in the past. History is filled with some pretty abhorrent chapters. I think that with technology today we just get the horrid stories faster, with more detail, and then they are regurgitated over and over on social media until we are inundated with the negatives. I also believe that social media has become a sorry substitute for genuine connection and I fear for relationships in the future.

      Still, I look for and hang on to all the positives and beauty out there - of which there is much. And it's exceedingly nice to get to know you too.

      Delete
    3. But we don't EVOLVE! Why not?

      Social scientists say the fact is there is significantly less violence than ever before. Maybe progress insists on a sensitivity report card only 100 years...

      I think even our strongest activists are wearier :-(

      And the numbing through social media--yup, what a damn worrisome shame. And too much self directed video and smart phone distractions from our connected world. And yet, you and I are getting to know one another through the wires and when it works it works :-)

      Love
      kj

      Delete
  2. KJ, we'd like to invite you to pose questions like this as of our Authors in Alexandria. This invitation has been extended to you by email as well.

    In addition to posting on anything you wish, as you desire, you may of course mirror posts you've already written from here or elsewhere to gain a different or additional audience or for any other reason that appeals to you.

    If you think you might be interested, contact me through Alexandria or by return email via this comment and I'll forward our formal invitations for you to look over and return if you decide to proceed.

    Come contribute your perspectives and opinions to the ongoing conversations there or, even better, start some new - and different - ones of your own.

    I look forward to hearing from you.

    H. M. Stuart
    Alexandria

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you for the invitation, h.m. stuart. i'm gearing up again in my own blog and it's best for me to concentrate here. i wish you the best.

      Delete
  3. Optimists always baffle me in that I don't understand how anyone can be one given the human condition. Of course I'm a pessimist. But at the same time, I'm an idealist and so want the most and best for everyone in the world and do what I can, but I will always be a pessimist. And such is life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi rubye, a pessimistic idealist--it's a good thing you are calm with that; otherwise you'd be going in circles :^)

      i don't know how i feel about the human condition. as a therapist and counselor i've seen remarkable courage and love and effort, even in the worse of circumstances. i'm no polyanna. i know that evil acts have always been committed--maybe it's the commonplace increase and frequency of those acts that troubles me so much. we've become the islands that threaten community. not good.

      love
      kj

      Delete
  4. This is a tough one. I find myself worrying more about everything in general. I think 8thday is right...since the entire world is impossible to change, try to help one person, or one cause. I have to fight becoming jaded. I have to do the small things that will add up. Thanks for reminding me to be mindful. :) xox!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. pam, we do what we can. YOU certainly do. you are a most terrific person and you bring joy to the world

      i loves you, prudie1
      kj

      Delete

  5. “I am only one but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something.”
    ― Edward Everett Hale

    I try to make someone's day better everyday. That I can do.

    I'm also reading a good book right now called Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life's Greatest Challenges. It's quite good. Take care woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i love that quote, deb. xo

      I will get that book. i try to make someone's day better too. i know i can be petty and if i think something is wrong or unjust, i can be off and running. which is okay but sometimes not okay.

      love
      kj

      Delete
  6. KJ, I was thinking about the whole positivity thing today. I started a pot of coffee and then heard the sizzling of water and realized I'd forgotten to put the pot back in the machine and coffee was spilling out. But as the p[thought was forming about it being a bad start to a day, I caught myself, laughed and said, "Well, got that mistake out of the way!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi cs, it really is about perspective, isn't it; how we interpret external every things. when something bad/hard/bothersome happens to me, i often think i have been saved from something bad/hard/bothersome if i had not been interrupted. that makes me an optimist :^) but i do think that way and it seems to be the role of destiny that one thing happens and another doesn't

      i believe in abundance and kindness. but the state of the world makes it harder…

      love
      kj

      Delete
  7. My mom worries herself sick over all those problems, and despite being an optimistic person, believes that she needs to address each and everyone of those issues in some way. to that point she send 10 dollars to millions of charities. Then they send her monthly requests for more money, which adds to the recycle pile and on and on. its such an awful cycle!
    choose one good charity. do good for one or more local people. that is my motto, and I think it's more effective than 10 dollars to 100 groups. I try not to buy from evil places that do no good. I hate zoo's. I hate seaworld. My heart bleeds for those animals, to the point where I can't listen anymore. I find boycotting better than anything for my peace of mind and soul.
    enough ranting?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mim, your mother and her $10's made me just about laugh out loud. and yes, what a damn cycle that then she is called and contacted by every charity in the world.

      everything you've said, i agree with 100%. but i can't boycott. i want to, but i kind of need to know.

      love
      kj

      Delete
    2. kj,
      I am commenting here where it says Reply, as somehow that's the only way I can.
      But I just wanted to say, you are right.
      Some things are really, really bad, for so many vulnerable people and living creatures.
      But, thank you too, for pointing out that there is good too.
      Brenda

      Delete
  8. Kj, All you say is true, but also true is that there are wonderful people doing wonderful things and that there is so much beauty in the world. My new motto after a terrible two years is, shit can be worse, so I choose to be grateful for the good. Nothing is ever helped by focus on it or worry. NEVER. As for how we can help: we can be kind, we can pick a cause and stick with it, for me it is animals and dolphins for the most part.
    No one person can do it all.
    You my dear are luckier than most, I know you know that.
    Happy writing.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete