Monday, October 08, 2012

Revisionist Herstory



It had been twenty five years. She walked into the quickly planned reunion forty pounds overweight and without a haircut. The former meant she could not strut as she wished and the latter meant she could not spike her hair just so.

He greeted her immediately. "He" was the handsomest boy ever, at age fourteen, fifteen, sixteen: debonair and mysterious and soft and safe. He was equally dashing fifteen years later in California, hosting her and her friend for a week while she nursed a broken heart.

"She always liked you," her friend told him in front of her.

He shook his head. "Why didn't you tell me? I liked you too. I had no idea."

She shuffled back to then, her a gawky funny girl who had no idea either.

Later in the kitchen he smiled. "In California too..." His voice trailed off.

"I would have," she grinned.

"I would have too," he grinned back.   

"Next time you're in town call me. We'll all meet for dinner."

"Yes," he said, "And next time you're in California, call me. I'll like to meet your partner."

Who knew? she thought. All this time I believed I was unattractive and maybe that wasn't even true.  I wish I knew that then. 

Ah well, better late than never. 

32 comments:

  1. So, so, sad. "I wish I knew" is one of the worst statements, ever. Heartbreaking just to read about it.

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    1. Rob, the narrator wasn't sad. She smiled all the way home :-)

      Love
      kj

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  2. HERstory...I like it. Best to speak up really, isn't it?

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    1. Yes Kay, but sometimes hard to do at any age; especially for a wee teenager :-)

      Love
      kj

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  3. I've lived this. Love your writing, kj.

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    1. Thanks, Barbara.

      Oh damn....right?

      :-)
      Love
      kj

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  4. Ah, a poignant scene. Herstory=great!

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  5. There is a reason for memory...so we can leave behind comfortably that which is behind.

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    1. Oh mark you are such a wise guy accurate know-it-all.....

      Love
      kj

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  6. smiles....it is nice to know in the after, though that might make meeting once again a bit awkward

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    1. Brian, somehow I think these two win't be one bit awkward :/)

      Love
      kj

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  7. these secret longings, found out years later. it's always good, bringing a smile deep inside one's heart. how lovely — he sounds like a peach of a guy.

    p.s. looks like p'town was a blast!

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    1. You got this 100%, Amanda xo

      And yes, he is a peach

      Love
      kj

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  8. Hind sight is always 20/20! You are beautiful. This was such an awesome post. So inspiring.
    Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. Thanks also for stopping by to leave me so joy.
    Hugs to you beautiful!

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    1. Hello ms vee! I wonder if there was a boy like this in your 'herstory' :-).

      A regret, yes, but a lovely affirmation too. :-)

      Love
      kj

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  9. Yup. Me too. Who knew?!

    :-)
    Love
    kj

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  10. Sometimes it seems like missed opportunity is papered with fear and assumption. We know so little. Why do we act as though we do? Self preservation. Pride. Blech! I wish I had none.

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  11. Ha Annie! What I knew at 13 is that I was an asexual funny girl who did everything I could to glide over the fact that I was not as desirable as my 13 year old friends.

    His name is max. I think that adds to the story :-)

    Love love
    kj

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  12. What a story! And how beautifully written ... sounds like the start of a novel. And you are beautiful! xo

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    1. Oh ooooooh you are here!!!

      Here you are!!!!

      You and I, who write and read but also get to listen. Thank you destiny!!!

      Love love
      kj

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  13. Kj, this is so sweet. I have been thinking about this stuff too, going through old photos of my mom and I, I had no idea how beautiful I was of how beautiful my mom was.I think now that when I am 90 I will look at photos of my this self and think the same thing. You and I still rock :-). xoxo

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    1. I know exactly what you mean, Annie. Old high school friends told me 'you look great; you haven't changed one bit!' And all I could say was 'I wish I knew that then.'

      Better late than never really does ring true

      Annie, your Mom is beautiful. And so are you, inside and out

      Love
      kj

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  14. so many things that night have been twang our heartstrings.

    all the things we never knew. like, in high school i never knew that probably if i had smiled instead of frowned i might have had some friends. ah well.

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  15. I think this is a lovely happy story - it made me smile. We're always rediscovering ourselves aren't we?

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    1. Mum, I think you're right. Surprises me sometimes!

      Love
      kj

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    2. Hahaha mum mom Mim . Darn spellcheck!

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  16. She's you, isn't she? I love your glass half-full attitude.

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    1. My dear Andrea, I could never admit to being 40 pounds overweight and in need of a haircut :-)

      Love
      kj

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  17. Hi! These damn lungs of mine have been draining all my energy... I miss all you guys too:-)!

    Wander

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    1. Gosh Chris, I hope you feel alittle better every day. Lungs take time to heal. I'm still winded from pneumonia last winter.

      You are missed. Hang in ♥

      Love
      kj

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