Thursday, August 30, 2012

Thursday Thirteen

It's not how I thought it would be.

My vacation.

1. Most of all, I have worried about my 96 year old Mother. She can't rely on her memory and most of all I am pained to think of her afraid and lost. Which she has been. Especially when I am not around. I know now I will not be away for this long again for as long as she knows I am gone. Trip to Alaska next spring? Cancel. Trip to Seattle in October? Cancel. Quick trips back to Provincetown? Yes.

2. With the hardest out of the way, for the rest of my seventeen days in Provincetown JB and I are checking off a list of 'would like to's"written on a napkin the night we arrived. For starts, I've wanted to write every morning, get through the first full run of my never ending novel. I'm doing it.  I am approaching page 300 (double spaced with plenty more editing to do) and I can finally see The End.

3. We kayaked the morning after a rare blue moon and the tide was so low we hit sand bars three times. Grrr. But what fun. I saw no water lily girls but I looked for them (mim xo)

4. Every afternoon by 2 pm JB and I are at the beach. We bob in the August waves of the Atlantic ocean and lie in the sun, happy voices and flapping waves coming from all sides. I forget to worry in these times. My senses take over and I am content.

5. Late late at night we are watching early episodes of "Sex and the City." We brought the whole CD set here and we are almost at year three. Oh the sex! But too the series is thoughtful and deep in friendship and philosophy. These four women are my orgasmic friends! :^)

6. We have looked at three houses. I like do that on vacations: look at real estate. But this time we wonder what it would be like to live here in a house. The news is not promising: expensive. Very. Impossibly so. But I don't worry about that. When something's to be, the path becomes clear. Sooner or later, wishes meet reality and something happens.

7. I have taken four dozen pieces of paper of all sizes and either taped or recopied their scribbles into my address book. I now have an organized book again. After three years.

8. Lobster tomorrow night when our friend Liz arrives.

9. This book I am writing: I have four books I'm using as research and I'm reviewing my notes from them. This morning: Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser. My favorite: Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel.

10. I haven't mentioned food. We get to eat out. With an ocean view. I'll leave it at that.

11. I am looking at my water color set but mostly I am looking at this brush that looks like a small fan. It is for painting leaves on trees. I've left it on the coffee table so I won't forget to paint a tree this week.

12. Today I plan to paint my toe nails blue.

13. And tomorrow I am getting my hair colored but I don't know what color. Safe is auburn. But safe on vacation? Maybe not.

I hope all is well where you are. ♥



  1. Always keeping your Mum, you and JB in my prayers. You are doing the right thing...keeping close to her yet, still managing to enjoy life - even if it means *just* painting your toenails blue - or enjoying Lobster. It sounds pretty good to me... I know you think of Stella when you are at the shore.


    ♥ Robin ♥

    1. Hi robin, thanks so much. Yes blue toenails definitely count!

      I see that you are back in full swing to your opera days and knights :-) . And a better easier year. So glad!j

      jB and I are thinking of Stella alot. Yes because we miss her here but also because we will welcome another dog next friday. That feels happy sad.

      Take care

  2. okay okay okay ......... rare blue moon, lobster and orgasmic friends.

    and totally feeling the almost finished novel, gorgeous new header photo of drew and painted toenails.

    just painted mine silver — this is a BIG first for me kj —— just not into makeup and nails and totally enjoying indulging a little. indulge yourself too darlin' ~


    1. Amanda, what a delightful comment: I think you are kind of where I am, ms silver toes

      I have to tell you my header is mr Ryan, not no longer baby drew . What a big week for his kindergarten debut

      Maybe you could be one of my orgasmic friends :-)


  3. Well, aren't you having a delightful time on your holiday! I hope that just keeps on happening!

    I hope you mom is OK, too

    1. Thank you very much, rob-bear. Thinking of you xo

  4. I understand what it's like, the need to be close by for you mother.
    Good job with the writing!
    It's hard to move away from auburn, it's such a great color..I had it for countless years, until I decided to go gray. Still get that urge once in a while to get a couple of boxes of Feria's Brilliant Bordeaux.

  5. I like this post. Maybe it is the organization aspect of everything numbered,order brings peace. At least for me. Short on words this morning...full of ideas. But I really did enjoy this post. Big Love, Deb ♥♥♥

  6. Kj, Worry sucks the life out of you. I have mom issues too and cannot be with her, so when I start to worry, I ask myself what can I do about this right now? If the answer is nothing I send her love and let go. Try it. Staying in the moment it where life is, not in our heads thinking about what pains us or others. This is hard, but worth the effort. Glad the book is coming along! Sending love to your dear mom. Hugs. xoxo

  7. I don't have to worry for my mom anymore and these kind of posts make me realize she and I were spared in some way. She will always be young in my head.

    When it comes to my hair, I am safe ;), nails, less so. Expensive houses EEEEEEEEEEEk. Lol.

    When it comes to ocean views and good food, is anybody safe in these perfect conditions :).

  8. Oh do go for blue hair- I dare you- just once - even blue highlights to match those nails- and while you are about it- a tattoo. Yes definitely a tatt. LOL. I can't even imagine having a mom who is 96, mine died at 57.

  9. Kj, I hope you and JB enjoy the heck out of your vacation because you both deserved to. I love reading about Ptown, and your days there. Life is full. :) xox!
    PS AWESOME about the book! I am plotting a new one while the one I just finished simmers for a little while.

  10. "When something's to be, the path becomes clear. Sooner or later, wishes meet reality and something happens."

    Oh how lovely and positive. I will post it on my poetry wall. It is a guidepost and my mind relaxes reading it.

    Thank you dear!

  11. I am soo glad to hear about your trip and the good it is doing for you, but I still want you to come to portland...maybe in a few years :-( I understand your reasoning, and applaud it! sorry to hear about the digital devices...but they can be replaced, the memory of how ridiculous someone looks after falling in a foot of water cant :-)


  12. Kj I thought I would let you know that the vast majority of the images on my poem are ones I find after I have already wrote the poem...but I can write pretty dam good ones from prompts as well :-)