It really does feel like a new year. I know it's just a date on the calendar, but sometimes a clear start and a clean heart opens the front door to a new walkway. I do have some creative hopes (not goals, nope, not going to fall for that one!):
I hope I finish this book of mine this year. Finish to the point of having the writing done, the chapters ordered, the manuscript ready to be published.
I hope I work my tail off to entice a publisher to take a chance on said book.
I hope I finally pick up a pencil, begin to sketch whatever comes out of that pencil tip, jubilantly employ my colored pencils, and maybe even learn Adobe Illustrator.
I also hope the economy and stock market stops its wild unnerving ride and JB and I can be a bit more reckless about how and when we spend money.
Because we have lost Stella, JB and I were not in the mood to celebrate New Year's Eve. We had invited a few friends here to # 9 but we canceled; then at the last minute we changed our minds again and decided on a scaled down version of food and drink and guests.
The best surprises are the ones that arrive unplanned.
Our friend Liz arrived mid afternoon on Saturday. She is as close to a sister to me as anyone could be. I'm pretty sure she and I coined the term 'sisterfriends' and I have to laugh when I see it used elsewhere on the blogs. There is no need to plan ahead with Liz: she and JB and I just fall into an easy rhythm of doing whatever we do.
We frosted cupcakes and Liz told us all about her trip to China and we exchanged the best little presents and we poured drinks and ate cheese and cried about Stella and talked about work and life and summer vacations.
At nine pm my friends Marsha and Norm arrived with their friends Kevin and Ginger. We had planned a last minute potluck. JB made shrimp feta and chili cheese cornbread, Marsha make a mushroom quiche, Norm made a salad, I made Trader Joe hot appetizers and a chocolate cream pie.
I don't know how or why we all started laughing, but we never stopped. Not until 1:30 am. JB and I didn't know Kevin and Ginger beforehand but something magic happened to all of us that night. It was as though our laughter would push us into the new year in a healthy auspicious way. We each felt that. I feel it still.
There was so much uncertainty in 2011. Scarcity. Rigidity. Disagreement. Loss. Wars and political messes.
I don't have a clue what's ahead, but I have a feeling a correction is taking place, individually and collectively. I know it is not going to help me to look for answers and certainly not guarantees. What's my alternative? Well, I guess I am going to take things as they come. I am going to trust that I am a good person with good intentions and a good mind and I am going to trust myself. I am going to try to keep my feet directly under me, not leaning into the past or into the future. I am going to let myself feel and be excited and sad and light and deep.
I did not expect to laugh my way into 2012 with Kevin and Ginger and that turned out very fine. So I'm staying open for more Kevin and Gingers, and I'm falling into the safety of my family and Liz and Marsha and Norm and some other wonderful friends, you know who you are.
Oh well.....okay. That's what I'm doing. How about you?