Sunday, May 22, 2011

Show Don't Tell

'Stories are for joining the past to the future. Stories are for those late hours in the night when you can't remember how you got from where you were to where you are. Stories are for eternity, when memory is erased, when there is nothing to remember except the story.' Tim O'Brien, The Things They Carried

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If I were in grad school and my professor wrote "Show don't tell" on my dissertation paper, I would scream in frustration. Understanding what this advice/requirement/rule actually means has dodged me for a hundred years.

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But I'm starting to understand. It's a good thing, since a writer who tells and fails to show is going to have boring bored readers.

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I have a feeling that 'show don't tell' is equally necessary to painters, photographers, sculptors, musicians. So with the hope of touching upon something more universal than just important to me, writing a book, here's some clarification of what 'show don't tell' looks like and doesn't look like.

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From Judith Barrington, Writing the Memoir: "Your writing will be far more engaging if you show your readers the particular squint in your father's left eye that appeared as he got angry, or if you show them the thumping of your mother's fist on an oak table before she burst into tears, than if you merely tell them that your father was prone to fits of anger or that your mother often cried out of frustration."

.The key to writing that shows is the senses and that the story is told much like a movie. This means sometime to SEE, or to HEAR or to SMELL or TOUCH or TASTE. Want to know about my character Casey? I could tell you she is both strong and vulnerable, currently depressed and immobilized. Or I could tell you this:

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Casey ran her fingers through her $ 5o haircut. "Mave, do I look okay?
Mave grimaced. "Not really. Not like you usually do."
"I know,"Casey said. "I'm due for another cut, but I can't seem to find will or wind power to pick up the phone and schedule an appointment."

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Here is a favorite example: "It was a hot, sultry afternoon." I am telling you this. If I want to show you, I could say, "The afternoon blazed and sweated."
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This is where I am this afternoon: evaluating and snipping and crafting words that I hope will tell a story that is worth telling. I have to paint portraits in my story. I have to assure that my characters will evoke a range of realistic feelings for the reader: admiration, sympathy, disgust, fear, believability. I have to explain the whys and hows and when and wheres by SHOWING.

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Not so easy.
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"kj was afraid and frustrated she would not be able to capture the personalities of her main characters." -----------"kj cleared her throat. She shook her head from side to side. Her feet twitched on the wood floor and she brought her hand to her heart. Could she write this story? She stood up, opened the window for air, and with uncertain fingers, began typing."

.Love
kj

18 comments:

  1. a good guideline for revision for sure. I think often first drafts tell. Then one revises into the show. Yet there are a lot of good, readable novels out there that, in my opinion, tell. It's not black and white but grey, to my mind.

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  2. ... in a far off land her friend Jos was reading KJ's words on her laptop. A huge grin split across her face, such was her delight! Yay!!! xx Jos

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  3. But I *see* you writing thing, and feel the anxiousness in the fingertips that both want to explode on the computer keys and explode the computer to avoid any chance of words being continents away from perfect.
    Therefore, she writes.
    And writes.
    ;-)

    XXOO~~
    Anne

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  4. Loved reading this, as it gave me even more inspiration for sharing/telling/showing my work in several venues and mediums. My aching back speaks volumes about finishing godknows how many textured upholostry scraps into a gigantic 90" colorful dancing quilt.

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  5. i love the showing that you do in the last paragraph.. this one is going to be just fine.. :-)

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  6. I can't wait to read more about Casey! I feel I know her already... that was an excellent writing lesson as well as great examples in following your own advice, "Show; don't tell." Plus you have the perfect getaway for having just the right amount of solitude and unscheduled time to write. You go, girl!!

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  7. this is beautiful. how many times have i heard show don't tell.... but for the first time, you have shown me how to show, don't tell.

    such a great post. i am itching to start pounding my keyboard tomorrow morning after reading this. thank you for the inspiration, kj.

    xo

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  8. interesting distinction, suki. i'm currently at the tell and figure out what the story is truly about, decide on a format and a sequence and write, rewrite, revise, review,recharge, relax:

    jos, i LOVE this comment! it made me smile all day. xoxoxoxoox!

    anne, :^) you! i am so far away from perfection, but no matter, i love even the hardest parts xo

    thank you lynn. 90 inches?!! that is almost three feet wide? a colorful dancing quilt! what a name! who could resist?

    aw, thank you so much, how do we know. how nice to see you again. i always enjoy when you stop by xoxo

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  9. margaret, i had a small thrill knowing that you do not yet know anything about my book. i can't believe i will be able to write here, margaret; it;s like a gift from the universe...

    aw, pound with me tomorrow, amanda. ♥

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  10. how wonderful that you are finding the inspiration to write. enjoy your days minute by minute kj!

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  11. Far be it for me to lecture the master but I find if you know how your characters make love, feel when they're vulnerable, excited, angry . . the showing is easier. We also play this game where someone throws a phrase at you, any phrase and you have to write a sentence. Then you keep writing until a story develops. Get JB to fire some at you 'grey tennis shoes', or 'wonder woman's sniper rifle' can be obscure as you like but it really helps with character dev. Then I'm not published so feel free to toss that one in the bin . . just sayin'

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  12. I can almost hear those keys pounding out a gentle, but steady patter of words.

    No advice to one who writes so well - except to not rush it...
    after some more walks along the shore, some wonderful meals, reclaiming your home and making it yours and JB's again, more of this already-fascinating story WILL take place.... the words want to come out....and they will.

    MUWAH!

    Love,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  13. oh happy day lori has a new computer! i have my own coast line for a time, lori!!!!

    hells, excellent point: the practice of writing improves the writing! i use prompts alot, all my writing groups do: it's great to see what appears. ps you are a very very good writer.

    dear robin, ha! i couldn't rush it if i wanted to! i have to now sort everything that's been written out, fill in blanks, rewrite sections, throw away parts, decide on order. i may not keep the snippets. whatever happens, it will be a surprise and that is the best part! thanks for the encouragement xo

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  14. This is so wonderful! My professors as well would constantly tell us, "show, don't tell." Sometimes it came easily, as if the light were turned on, but other times I would search on hands and knees through the darkness hoping to bump into it, but never could. I would end up with scratched knees only. Now I can just come to your post and be illuminated again. Thank you. Sabrina

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  15. Bravo! Great post. I know you will get your story done, one word at a time. I love Jos' comment, so clever! xoxo

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  16. I am such a pill. I still believe that what is important when I read is for my mind to make a composite of the character based on spoken and unspoken attributes. I personally don't want to know too much about anyone in a novel or a play. One of the reasons why I am invariably disappointed when someone takes a book to Hollywood.

    Your style is fine, be true to yourself and remember, some advice including my suggestion, is good to store somewhere for future reference. When the time comes to polish the edges and dust away some of the superfluous, then you may want to show without having to change the tell too much. A little mystery about a character keeps things interesting.

    Just saying :)

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  17. hello sabrina, now i know what to call you :^) this post is only 40 watts, just a flashlight, but thanks for the kind words :^)

    annie, thanks ♥

    allegra, you can be sure i am going to print out your comment and tape it to my desk. i hear you, not that i'm sure i can do your advice justice (but i will try and try!) xoxo

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  18. Oh, man! Blogger ate my comment. I know I said something affirming!

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