Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Animal Wednesday: Part 2 Getting Out of Trouble by Emily V. V. Rabbit

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Hello everyone, it's me, Emily. First here is the easy part:
How to Stay Out of Trouble
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Don't even try. Life without getting in trouble is too much honor society and not enough detention. And detention is where the chalk flies and the notes get passed. You shouldn't miss that part.
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How to Get Out of Trouble
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1. Never sit on your tail: That puts you in a weak and awkward position and then you have to worry about your balance. Tie your tail with an imaginary string to the back of an imaginary hook on the back of your real head if you need to. Then you can sit down like you own the place.
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2. Look like you are going to throw something big: You do this by swinging your arms back and forth and turning your head back and forth like you are very upset and looking for something. This takes the focus off you and puts it on the other person's self protection.
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3. Start with a quiet boohoohoohooboohoo and build it up (about 30 seconds) until it is a medium BOOHOOHOOHOOBOOHOO and if that doesn't work end with a large BOOHOOHOOHOOBOOHOO and add three extra BOOBOOHOO'S and stretch it out for at least 45 seconds. This should disturb someone so much they will either feel sorry for you or want to get rid of you fast.
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4. Compliment the person's haircut. Most people don't think their hair looks good and they will like hearing this so much they might be nice to you.
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5. Say that the last time you were in trouble your Mother punished you for two years and you're afraid if she does that again you will miss the best part of your childhood.
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6. Casually mention your supply of frozen Brussels sprouts and how fast they shoot from your pellet gun.
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7. Start saying the Catholic 'Hail Mary' prayer out loud and maybe even kneel down. They will think something is wrong with you and maybe give you a break. But don't say Hail anyone else because it will sound very weird, don't you think?
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8. Mention that you have an Uncle Bunny who gives big presents to people he doesn't know and if you need to also say that he was best friends with Janis Joplin.
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9. Pretend you don't speak English or whatever language someone is talking to you and just keep saying WAAAH WAAAH WAAAH.
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10. Keep a photograph of your family and pull it out while you start crying, saying they've been through enough already and is it possible you could do community service to spare them the pain of further problems?
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If anyone has any other ideas of course please say so because it's always a good idea to know how to get out of trouble and you should know that I have already tried six of these and five of them worked really great and the sixth one would have worked if it hadn't involved that church meeting and those little kids who got sick from the multicolored rabbit pellets.
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If you are not getting into any trouble, please think about that because it's not normal and it probably means you are not having enough fun, which would cause trouble later on anyway.
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Sincerely,
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Emily Rabbit

9 comments:

  1. It is about time I get into trouble again, so I can try out your ways to get out of trouble....

    It sure has been (too) long ago....

    can I add one to the list?
    How about: Keep repeating yourself. People definitely think your are nuts and they just can't stand an irritating nut for too long.
    First of all they think you can't help it since you are cookoo and they want to get rid of you ASAP for being such a pain in the ...

    Now I am off thinking of a way to get into trouble so i can see one of your methods works!

    You take care best friend of me!
    Hugs and jellybean kisses!
    >M<

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  2. you gave me a good laugh Emily. I'll try to remember these next time I goof.

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  3. Emily, my Fwiend,
    This is gweat advice....and I am pwetty sure I do all of these....and more.... you are an excellwent witer.... I inspwire to be wike you....

    Oh, and I KNOW you made the "Twee Wabbit" in Lo's Garden.... it ha your paw prints all over it!

    Wuv and jellies,

    ♥ Wrobin ♥

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  4. Hi Emily,
    I haven't been in much trouble since you were here and we had that (tiny) little boating incident.
    But I certainly got to see you in action, you sly girl,,,,and know very well your tactics and technique.
    Mr. Babs is still digging frozen peas out of the boat motor, shaking his head,,, and muttering.

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  5. marianne!! you absolutely need to get in trouble. you are too much fun not to get in trouble! i like the idea of repeating yourself. see, you are so smart. do you think 25 WAAAAH!'s would count?
    ps you are the best friend of me too.

    suki, when do you think you will goof next? i hope it's soon so you can have a fun time and not care.

    wrobin, are you okay? i am concerned that you are having problems speaking with all those w's. wreally, i hope you are wrocking and not wreclining. i saw the wrabbit in lololo's twree right away. but wrobin, why didn't she mention me? especially because i think that is my cousin in the twree? WAAAAH!

    babs, hahahaha! didn't we have the best fun, babs?!!! is mr. babs finding any peas? i think there were 28 in all. would you ask him when he wants me to come back? soon, probably, right?

    sincerely
    emily r.

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  6. I'm gonna try #3 and #9 - sounds like a good plan to me

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  7. hahahaha! Emily, I got so much detention in s school I'm still trying to make it up!
    Honestly, even if I was allowed to finish high school I'd still have some detention left over.

    I was greatly misunderstood ;P

    But honey, LOOK AT ME NOW!!!!!!

    I won't even read how to get out of trouble. Where's the fun in that?

    :D

    xoxoxo
    lololo

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  8. Some great advice form a little wabbit <3

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  9. Sorry emily, i'm late. Am i in trouble now?

    :)

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