Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit & How to Get Out of Trouble but only Part 1

( Note from Emily: this is my Uncle Bunny
but I am only showing a picture of him
because I didn't have anything else I could use
and I thought I should use something
so I am showing Uncle Bunny because of that)

Well! Would you believe that I was stopped by the police in Provincetown for destruction of property, stealing, and profanity? Gregory Squirrel and I were brought to the police station and it was very hard because Gregory kept whimpering and whispering to me that he was going to be punished for a year which to him meant ‘no nuts, no trees, no swings, no nibbles.” He said that could ruin his life and he looked so sad about it all that I figured I had better figure out how to get us out of trouble—fast, which I can do if I really concentrate so that is what I did and it worked out okay, whew.
.
I knew that falling to the floor and kicking my feet in the air while crying very loud was not going to work because it really didn’t work the time I was arrested at the church board meeting and besides the floor looked hard and I wasn’t sure if it was clean enough to roll and have a temper tantrum on so I had to think fast and I decided I would use the charm approach Uncle Bunny taught me when my teacher was going to give me an F just because I didn’t do my homework and because one time I hid under my desk eating radishes when everyone else was taking a test on Famous Rabbits in History. That time I told my teacher that JB was very sick and I had to help her because she was alone and she needed someone sweet and solicitous like me to bring her water and carrots and pills and sometimes a cold facecloth for her head. I was lucky that JB did not squeal on me, which she very well could have and might have if she found out she was sick.

So Gregory and I are in the police station and this horrible man is yelling that we left garbage under his tree (who in their right mind calls carrot leaves and jelly bean wrappers garbage? Obviously there is something wrong with him but that was not my problem because if he doesn’t know the value of things like this that is his problem and isn’t it sad?)

Anyway, he is yelling and saying that he is going to leave poison in his yard if the police cannot promise him that Gregory and I will never bother him again, which is so stupid because who could promise that about a squirrel and a rabbit who understand how to have fun and aren’t afraid to have a good time, except that it didn’t help that Gregory’s cheeks were now quivering and I could tell he especially regretted the part about the lollipop wrappers.

zzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

oh, this is going to have to be Part 1 because I am very tired from having to be so charming even though it did work and Gregory and I are planning that the next time we swing in that tree we will not drop lollipop wrappers but we are going to drop something else that might not be nice.

Not being nice is a way to get out of trouble but only if you're desparate and you've already tried being charming, which usually works, but I am too tired to tell you how so there will need to be a Part 2.

Sincerely,

Emily Rabbit

10 comments:

  1. My oh my what a suspense.......
    I am sure you got the both of you out of trouble . Can't wait to hear how.....
    And that guy leaving poison in his yard....HE should be arrested!
    Did you see Felix' T-shirt he bought in NY, about trouble being his middle name?

    We will tidy his room today. I bet we will find a lot of candy wrappers in his room........

    Take care Emily!!!!
    Stay out of trouble in the first place.......try to be naughty without being caught ;)

    Love & HAW!!!
    your best friend
    ♥♥♥
    >M<

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh for goodness sakes Emily, I could write a book about you and trouble...

    maybe I will.....

    ReplyDelete
  3. well I was just thinking that maybe this IS a book here. KJ can be Emily's secretary and spell checker and Emily will have a whopper of a best seller methinks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. POISON???? That man is a bit extreme. He must not understand the needs of a rabbit to play shenanigans wherever she goes ;)

    Suki, KJ needs a spellchecker!!
    hahahahaha!

    Okay, I do too ;)

    xoxo
    lololo

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha, oh dear emily.

    where to begin? if you don't mind, will you please tell kj i am going to catch up with all the posts i missed while i was in NYC, this very evening. I have it all planned, a cozy spot on my couch, a lovely glass of pinot noir, it will be a special treat all the way round (kj is a fantastic writer who i always enjoy reading, of course you too emily!)

    thanks much,
    love,
    lori

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh my, I was not aware at first I was reading a story story and thought YOU were the victim of misidentification! Whew, to learn you are safe, but these others. well it remains to be seen right?

    ReplyDelete
  7. How very clever of you, Emily!! There is a way to use charm productively...it doesn't include lying though, like you did with JB's illness. That owner of the tree is ridiculous. Imagine...putting poison out...he doesn't know who might be a victim! Be very careful!!!

    I'm waiting for the second half...you've got me on the edge of my seat, Emily!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Emily, don't tell anyone, but I have used the 'charming defense' more than once with very good results. Try smiling and nodding your head in a friendly way - that seems to get results for me, too. When all else fails, get the accuser to talk about him/herself. Try things like, "Did you know that the shirt you are wearing is exactly like one that Elvis Presley wore on his third Vegas tour?" Once your accuser starts talking about Elvis and his/her shirts, you are off the hook, my friend. Good luck.
    Your friend,
    Pam

    ReplyDelete
  9. I added myself to follow your blog. You are more than welcome to visit mine and become a follower if you want to.

    God Bless You ~Ron

    ReplyDelete
  10. Emilwee....I think you and Marianne's Fewix are going to become great friends.... he can teach you about "Steeking Bison" and you can teach him how to grow jelly beans and upsidedown cake!

    As one of your (I hope) best fwiends, I can attest to the "magic effwects" of "Charm"... it can work wonders... (at times)... and you, are definitely the "Queen of Charm"...(at times)...!

    As for the man leaving poison..... A-ha-ha....we can deal with him.... wemember the old adage, "As ye wreap, so shall ye sow....."....this is twue!

    Emily....golly, I will be seeing you and the rest of the #9 "Gang" soon.... looking forward to rolling down hills and harvesting the lolli-crop together!

    Love,

    ♥ Wrobin ♥

    ReplyDelete