Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Happiness

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This is the original cover of my very first book proposal. It was fortunate to be picked up by an agent and I spent a good part of a summer writing about happiness, to my heart's content, readying it for a publishing contract.
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I wanted the book to be easy to read, insightful to ponder, and credible as in backed by real research; not stuffy research, but with real facts about who's happy and why. My agent wanted the book to be a light 'how to'. I couldn't bring myself to write it that way, so I put it aside. One of these days, perhaps soon, it will find its way to me again and I will play it forward.
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The Book identifies ten qualities of a happy life. I liked them then and I like them now. I loved searching for and selecting quotes to introduce each quality. I first posted them on my blog when my blog was brand new in 2006. Here they are again.
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I hope you find one that speaks directly to you.
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1. Keep It Simple
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“A mess can cover up more than tables and floors. People lose themselves in the day-to-day stuff, and they don’t get to be who they really are.”
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Organizer Extraordinaire, Laurie Arriola
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2.Stay Present: Correct the Past, Plan the Future, But Live Now
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“We are born at the rise of the curtain and we die with its fall, and every night in the presence of our patrons we write our new creation, and every night it is blotted out forever; and of what use is it to say to audience or to critic, “Ah, but you should have seen me last Tuesday?”
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Michael MacLiammoir, The Bell,
“Hamlet in Eisinore”, 1952
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3. Commit: Find a Purpose and Live It
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“I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific”
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Lily Tomlin/Jane Wagner
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4. Don’t Turn on Yourself
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“When will you have a little pity for every soft thing that walks through the world, yourself included?”
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Mary Oliver
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5. Keep Conflict to a Minimum
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"One cool judgment is worth a thousand hasty counsels. The thing to do is to supply light and not heat. "
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Woodrow Wilson, 1916
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6. Laugh and Cry
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“Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.”
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Ralph Waldo Emerson,
The Conduct of Life, 1860
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7. Do Good Work
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“Don’t ask your self what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who come alive” (Harold Whitman). (for my twinkly twin Angela)
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8.Bend Bend Bend: Choose Happy Instead of Right
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“There is no good in arguing with the inevitable. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat.”
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James Russell Lowell, “Democracy”
address in Birmingham England 1884

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9.Create
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“I entered biology to understand the beauty of life. I started with the ecology of animals, but that wasn’t quite right, so I went one level deeper, to the study of tissues, then to chemistry, and finally even dabbled in the depths of quantum mechanics. Yet when I got there, I saw that the wonder of life had somehow slipped through my fingers along the way.”
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Allbert Szent-Gyorgyi,
Nobel Laureate Biologist

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10. Connect
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“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love IS everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. ..It really IS worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”
Erica Jong, How to Save your Own Life, 1977
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And a final word from the Saint of the Universe:
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We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But if that drop was not in the ocean, I think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. I do not agree with the big way of doing things.
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Mother Theresa, 1975
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xoxo from kj

20 comments:

  1. kj, your watercolor, it's really lovely :)
    and your photo with jb (how did i miss that before?).

    Your book is thoughtful and full of love for yourself and others, that is a perfect recipe for love to me. And I love Mary Oliver's words on compassion.

    When is the book coming out?
    xoxo lori

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  2. Sometimes I think that we spend too much time in search of happiness and forget to be happy.

    Like all states of mind it's not a permanent state and no matter what we do it never will be.

    I love what you have written as it is inspiring and beautiful.

    The secret to happiness I think is just to live in the moment as often as possible and choose to be happy.... I know I've made that sound simple, but I truely believe it can be.

    love to you kj and thank you for all that you share

    x Robyn

    PS... I've posted a couple of songs today and you came to mind because of your recent trip to NYC

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  3. also I too love the new header and the wonderful photo of you and jb

    x

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  4. Excellent- those are going on my fridge door for at least the next week! Love your header painting! Beautiful.

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  5. I had to supress a little grin that the agent wanted you to do a how-to on happiness! I mean.....oh boy....here she goes!
    Happiness is an undefinable quality due tot he fact that is it different for every person. The core of what may make people happy can be similar, but the experience will always be different.
    I think if you interviewed a thousand people there would be a jumble of answers, but what I have discovered is happiness is being comfortable in your own skin, and getting to THAT POINT is where the how-to comes in! (I have not had enough caffeine to articulate properly....)
    Happiness, is the peace in *self* that happens with a lot of focus, work and acceptance.
    I'm happy, and I'm not even awake!

    XXOO!!
    Anne

    P.S. Frozen Peas and Jelly beans to E.R.

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  6. lori, i need TIME to pull this book back together and i am short of it! but maybe this post is a first step. thanks a million for your always sweet comments and observations. ♥

    robyn, you are so right and so wise. what you have said here is actually the focus of this book! i'll be over to sway with your music ♥

    hello linda sue! thank you. it's a pleasure to hear from you. i'll be over to your place too to see what you've been up to xoxo

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  7. anne, BINGO! it is not found through money or education or fame. happiness is contentment with where ever you happen to be, provided you are not struggling with basic food and safety needs. don't get me started (yet!) i have to go to work. TSUP!

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  8. kj, I love these qualities of a happy life. It takes work to commit to all of them at once and I believe I must work harder to do so.

    My favourites are Keep It Simple (my mantra), Live now,no turning on oneself!!, and laugh and cry! I think we learn so much from our tears and chuckles!

    Also, I think a sense of humour, the ability to laugh at oneself, not taking things so seriously are keys to happiness...at least, in me. Yes, and bending with the onslaughts of crises and pain...that's another good one!

    I'd like to read this book...I hope you carry on with it! xoxo

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  9. I am happy 98% of the time. It's that 2% that is a bitch. ;) I LOVE number 2. I needed to read that this morning. There is so much wisdom in this world, and what I love about your book-to-be, is that you have distilled it down, and put it in one place, where I could read it, and remind myself about their truths. Kind of like a happiness multi-vitamin!! xoxox pam

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  10. KJ, I love it!! I remember one day in 1995 after two years of extreme depression, I made a decision that nothing was more important than my happiness. I wanted to be happy and to spread happiness and there's not a day when I don't consciously make that decision. Your 10 points are wonderful and so important!! You are a bright light in this world and I feel so fortunate to know you!! Love, Silke

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  11. I would buy this book in a ♥beat!

    I can relate to all of them, some more than others on different days. I think that's the same for all of us which is why this book would sell.

    Would you have to have permission to use the quotes? I would think they'd all be honored ;)

    hey, see you tomorrow!! Looks like it's going to thunder and pour any minute. Let's get the rain out of the way for a smooth drive up tomorrow ;)

    xoxoxo
    lo♥

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  12. I love this Kj. I have written a book about how to love your life, and like you have not been totally pleased with it yet, years are passing, but maybe someday. I would like you to read it, if you want, let me know.
    And I love your new header, did you paint that? It looks like you.
    xoxo

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  13. You are brilliant! Where can I get the book?

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  14. #'s 2, 3 and 4 are my problematic ones.... these days, it is much easier to love the world than myself... (you know why)....but, I AM trying.

    Your watercolour header is full of life - and love. You are showing a lot of talent on this front....

    As for the book.... the cover says it all..... it may be hard to "leap" into Life's waters.....but you have to - in order to swim!

    Have a glorious weekend! RELAX! Stella will be in the best hands in the world! Lo, enjoy your time at KJ et JB's House of Hapiness!
    (Just watch out for Emily!)

    Love, always,

    ♥ Robin ♥

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  15. What a wonderful post. I love the not turning on yourself part!!
    I know someone like that ;D.
    I also love the picture of the two girls, beautiful!!!

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  16. Well, 'they' say that "happiness is a choice",,,and I've found that often to be true.
    I've also found that the following quote is helpful:
    "I was an oak,,,now I'm a willow, I can bend."

    And one more, that I saw on a church sign:
    "If you aren't happy where you are, MOVE. You are not a tree".

    Wishing you all the best with this writing,,,looks to me like you've pretty well covered it, and you have some excellent comments here too!

    Wonderful, bright, HAPPY header,,take a bow!

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  17. sounds like a great book. #3 and #10 are being hard for me right now. I adore keep it simple though and try to remember that when my mind gets buzzy. And being creative is just part of me.

    Love Babs' quote too.

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  18. How inspirational! Hope you have a lovely weekend kj. Nice new header, by the way - please paint more!!

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  19. I think it's a book wortht doing. It's the heart of what I work with patients on every day.

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  20. Thoughtful post...

    ...I often have to remind myself and remember to keep on the path of the Buddhist way of thinking (condensed by me)

    ...Heaven is here on earth.

    If one isn't careful, one could miss out on it.

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