Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Animal Wednesday: Advice from the Dearly Departed

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Hello! It's me, Emily
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I HAD to show you these Bunny Ears.
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Do you SEE them?
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They're Mine!
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While kj was in Vermont I visited my dearly departed Aunt Alfalfa; don't ask me how I managed to do that because it is a secret in the rabbit community and I would get in BIG trouble if I told. It would be worse than telling you how a magician pulls a rabbit from a hat and by the way sometimes the magician is too rough and it can really create ear aches, which if you've ever had one, is no fun and it's worse for rabbits as you might already imagine.
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Anyway, here I am visiting Aunt Alfalfa and she is giving me tips on abundance, mostly involving lollipops and jellybeans but some times just believing in it, and she is telling me she has never grown upside down cake and she thinks it's a long shot, and then, guess who I see right then and there?
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First I heard this sound: HAR HAR HAR
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Then I heard: "That lori ann is so fucking clever."
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Then I look at this happy woman with a huge grin and long grey hair and nice hands and she has giant wings that sway when she moves and she keeps saying 'fuck this' and 'fuck that' while she laughs (it is not my fault about saying that word because I just heard it not said it myself) and when she sees me she says, "Emily! Don't tell kj I said fuck in front of you. She doesn't need to know, HAR HAR HAR!"
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She looked at me straight on. "Jesus Christ, It's me, Emily. It's RENEE. I want you to do me several favors when you hop down from this cloud."
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"First, I want you to tell my family, especially Anqelique and Jacquie, that I am working on a way for them to hear me. Tell them there is so much love here in heaven I am going to send some down for spare use, not that they need it."
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"Second, I want you to tell kj to get a grip and keep it. Tell her I said, "She's not even worth it!" She'll know what I mean."
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"And third, I want you to tell everyone to go to Lori's blog http://loritimesfive.blogspot.com/ and leave a comment even though her offer to donate a dollar for each comment expired already. Leave a comment because maybe kj and maybe even Lori's friend Nancy won't notice that the offer expired already and if they don't notice then they will have to pay more and it all goes to a good cause. It would be a fucking--oops--darn shame if Lori and kj and now Nancy couldn't contribute all their grocery money to help those poor birds in the Gulf Coast."
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By the way, Renee also said, "Some of those birds have arrived here in heaven, Emily, and they are being well taken care of. There is no oil in heaven, although there are jelly donuts and chocolate truffles. Tell everyone that too."
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So for once I am doing as I was told and I don't mind this one time because I am always very well behaved after I visit my Aunt Alfalfa and it lasts for at least three days before I start to whine again and sometimes I don't have a temper tantrum for as long as a week. My Aunt Alfalfa says heaven affects rabbits that way. I don't know how it affects people but Renee seemed pretty happy although I did not get the sense that she was going to start behaving anytime soon.
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If you go and visit Lori, please tell her I Emily Rabbit said hello and wondered if any of that money should maybe be dedicated to helping the New England Bunny Business with the start up cost of its jellybean production.
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Sincerely Yours,
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Emily R.
* You can find Renee at http://circlingmyhead.blogspot.com

15 comments:

  1. emily, i love you. and tell kj i love her too. i f~ing do.

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  2. Thank you for this magical post, Emily!

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  3. Emily you are a beautiful rabbit...you really are

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  4. :D

    That's pretty good advice if you ask me. All of it!

    I think it's okay that you dropped the F-bomb Emily because you were just repeating it from a very trusted source ;)

    I love seeing you in the clouds!
    I was looking for you when I was taking care of Stella but now I see you had other plans. Maybe next time :)

    I hope you told Renee we all miss her.♥

    happy Bunny Wednesday Ms. E.V.V.R.!

    xoxoxo
    lololo

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  5. Oh Emily, what a lovely post and how lucky you are to get to visit with Renee, I visit with her a lot myself :-). I have already been to Lori's blog, isn't it a wonderful idea she had? She has inspired me and I am working up my own idea to help the birds and fishes. Like Lori said tell Kj I love her and I love you too Emily.
    xoxo

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  6. Dear Emily, I see you up there, and I'm happy you got to spend some quality time with Renee.

    Absolutly perfect idea for helping the wildlife.

    And Em,,,even though you aren't really wildlife,,,you do have a pretty Wild Life, don't you?

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  7. Emily, I was weally touched by your post today... I am not at all surprised to learn that you went to visit your Auntie and - met Rewnee! Rewnee knows just about evewyone on Earth and in Heaven...

    Rewnee has brought a lot of spicy changes to the "world above"...she has brought fresh air, fresh life and well, some "fresh language"....HAR-HAR!

    I know she adored meeting you, o, "wasically wone"... did she gently tweak those wabbit ears?

    We wove our Renee - we always will - and we wove you - and oh yes, tell KJ we f~ing (oh my) wove her too.

    HWW! (Happy Wabbit Wednesday)

    ♥ Wrobin ♥

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  8. Hi Emily!!!!!!!!!
    Itś me, from BKK!
    I saw the ears:)
    How interesting you got to peak in there........
    But I am glad it was only a visit, we need you here!
    HAW
    ♥♥♥
    >M<

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  9. P.S.Yes, of course I see the ears :-).
    xoxo

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  10. Oh, Emily, you are a wonder-rabbit!! What a most wonderful and heartfelt post. You are my inspiration for today!!! Much love to you and KJ! Silke

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  11. KJ, I mean Emily Rabbit, I had a great laugh over your post. That is sooo Renee. The comments are great. Cracked me up. Love your garden too Emily. Maybe if you don't eat them all you will share with us. Thank you for this!

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  12. i am being brief because i am visiting several gardens today:

    lori, okay i love you too and i do.

    lydia, magical? it's just heaven, lydia. oh, i guess that's magical if you're not a rabbit or dead departed :)

    mim, why thank you mim. hee hee

    lo, it's fun to say that F word. who knew?

    annie, kj says tsup! i say WAAAA!

    babs, HAHAHAHA! you are so silly. you know i like that alot alot!

    well, wrobin, wreally wsometimesw wyou wtalk wjust wlike wme. whee whee (look! look! w plus hee makes WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    marianne, it was more than a peek. i stayed for lunch...

    annie, i know you SEE

    silke, do you mean inspire or conspire or perspire? p.s. kj likes you

    camille, your sister renee is so much fun. now i think you might be too

    fondly today,

    emily rabbit

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  13. I'm late, as usual!!! Emily, of course I see your ears. How very wonderful that you saw Renee and remembered her messages to her family! She certainly sounds in good spirits...

    I wish I had your ability to visit Heaven. Maybe, if you don't tell anyone you did it, you could just whisper a word to me about it? Oh well, maybe not.

    Have a great day, Emily!!!! xoxo

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  14. My best to Stella.

    I love Caroline's bird. I too miss Renee. I never get used to how a person can be there always right up until they're gone forever. Sometimes, I tempted to go back and read her old posts or her old comments on my blog, but I don't. There's really no holding on.

    I haven't NOT come around because I haven't wanted to. It's just that I've been busy. My atheism posts took a lot of time both to write and to respond to (comments my readers made). Now that I have a post up that doesn't seem to require much additional time, I'm trying to catch up with everyone else's blogs.

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