Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit & Stay Away From The Bars!

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Embellished Slightly by a Slightly Interested Party
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BOOHOOHOOBOOHOO!
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kj told me to stay away from the bars
but I thought she meant
I should not sneak into a gymnastics class.
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Or get arrested again.
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Or go to law school.
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So when my friend Gregory Squirrel
told me I could get free celery
if I sat at bar stool
and ordered a bloody Mary
(as opposed to a bloody Marilyn)
I thought why not?!
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How was I to know the bar was not safe?
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I escaped by the skin of my petrified ears.
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Sincerely Yours even though I'm still crying
and might be in need of bunny counseling,
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Emily Rabbit

25 comments:

  1. Jumping jehosophat, Emily. I just got the weirdest idea. I thought that, hey, what if KJ is nothing more than Emily's alter ego, and that thought just scared the bejesus out of me because KJ is veeeery weird, whereas you are just so darned nice that I'm often glad that you and I don't share a checking account. You know what I mean?

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  2. Emily - I don't know what Snow is talking about - just don't write him a check.
    As for bars??? Well....I guess you learned your little bunny lesson - so go home to KJ and give her a big kiss.

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  3. Silly wabbit. The only bars wabbits indulge are chocolate bars or LCM's with M&M's on top. What were you going to order a fluffy wabbit! FFS. . .bunnies don't do bars!

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  4. Dear Emily,

    Well, I guess KJ should have been a bit more *specific* in her warning? Yes? How is a little bunny to know?
    So here is a little poem for you Emily, to keep and keep you cheery! :)

    Alcohol, bars and bunnies don't mix,
    Though lured there with stealth for the crisp celery sticks.
    A bunny should always be happy instead
    In the comfortable garden or lush flowerbed.
    Alas, sometimes humans communicate poorly,
    And then little bunnies are terrified sorely!
    Be happy now, cheery! Since the end of this story
    Finds Emily Bunny in all of her glory!

    XXOO!!
    Anne

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  5. heee-heeee! Great poem by Anne!

    Emily, if you went to a bar with me I'd protect you. But if I ended up having more than my fair share of wine, well then you're on your own. And you have to be the desinated driver but you don't drive so then we'd have to call KJ and then you'd be in trouble all over again so....


    never mind!

    Are there wine flavored jelly beans? Just curious.


    xoxoxoxo
    lololo♥

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  6. mr. snowbrush, there is a BIG 'J' word you used and it sounds like a prehistoric bug.do you think kj is weird? i think she just needs to loosen up and not care if she gets in even BIG trouble but why do you think she is weird--is it because she lets me write on her blog and is cheap about paying me? anyway, i think about the checkbook that i would like that arrangement. :)

    mim, i was afraid that big lion was going to follow me home. i probably should not have let him buy me three of those tomato and celery drinks after the bartender warned me. but it is hard to pass up free presents, do you find that's true too?

    ms. baino, i was supposed to order one of those bloody marilyns (madelines? maureens? i forget) but when the lion ended up ordering me scotch with celery that's when i left because i was afraid i might lose my good judgement and imagine if he tried to bite me, baino!!!

    anne,
    "A bunny should always be happy instead
    In the comfortable garden or lush flowerbed."

    oooooooh!!!!!! i like you!!!! would you like to be my best friend after marianne of course and there might be two or three other people in line too (like lololo and maybe mim too). you write very good poems about me. i am going to show my teacher and my Mother and then all of kj's neighbors. i will try to remember to tell them you wrote the poem so you get some attention too.

    lololo, do you think i should try another bar? i was thinking maybe i shouldn't but i like that you are encouraging me but how can i be sure there are no lions or growling anybodys and as you know it's impossible to resist free drinks especially when you're sitting on a stool up high like that. ps the jellies can be soaked in whiskey for three hours and then you will have a silly day non stop. i don't know about wine so i will try that and let you know.

    sincerely, yours,
    emily rabbit

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  7. Dear Emily - bar none, that was the best darn bunny poem I have ever read. Anne should be your new best friend, just keep her away from the happy hours. And no, those are not hours where friendly folk tell you jelly bean jokes. Is bunny counseling expensive? A hare over what we humans spend? hee hee! xo Pam

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  8. Big hugs Emily! That must have been horrible. You need to throw some peas, eat some jelly beans and roll down a few hills! xoxo

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  9. Oh poor Em! Glad you're OK now, but wow that was a close one - see, KJ loves you after all!

    I love Lolo's idea of wine-flavored jelly beans, and like Annie said, roll down a few hills AND have some chocolate (not in bunny shapes tho).

    Big hugs from me and Cosmo

    xoxoxo

    ps - if you do need counseling just send KJ the bill 'cause she interupted your jelly bean biz, and if that hadn't happened you've have a pile of money by now!

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  10. Oh Emily, you poor liddle honey bunny. Next time you want to go into a bar, take a friend ... one with very fast and really long legs ... oh and a fiercesome face might be useful too. Maybe order ginger ale next time too! xoxox

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  11. ms. pam, anne CANNOT be my best friend because marianne is my best friend but anne can be a very good and almost best friend because those poems are fantastic and i think we might make some money together and i think she will let me have the jellybeans all to myself except i'm not sure. pam, can you tell me more about happy hours? do you go to alot of them? would you like to go with me sometime? oh and about counseling. i don't know yet. i have to see if that lion traumatized me or not.

    oh annie, that lion smiled and looked so innocent. i had to jump and hop all the way home and once i had to hide under a trash can which was below my dignity of course. i am now throwing frozen peas and that might be all the therapy i need.

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  12. oh that was a mistake. those comments are from me, not kj!!!

    affectionately,
    e.r.

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  13. susan, you are SO right about everything and thank you for saying so. i hope kj reads this and knows how deserving i am. what do you think about whiskey flavored jellies because i know how to do that and i was thinking of selling one jellybean for .5o cents, 6 for $ 2.50.

    jos, i don't think they serve celery with gingerale. and yes, i should have brought a friend. i thought gregory squirrel was coming with me but he got sidetracked when he stuffed too many nuts in his mouth. i told him but he didn't listen and then his cheeks were sore and stretched for three days.

    sincerely,
    emily r.

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  14. heehee, i am having fun laughing so much today. not at you dear emily, no no, at your funny friends. they have good advice so i don't think you need to worry anymore.
    can i offer one bit too? maybe if you made friends with the lion he wouldn't want to eat you. perhaps if you bought him a drink, a lion tamer (made that up, but it sounds good heh?).
    haha,
    lori ♥

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  15. Dear Emily,

    As the hands on the clock toward five, rolls around,
    Happy Hour at MY house is certainly found!
    With tipples for grown ups (and tipples a plenty!)
    And wonderful treat-sies for bunnies like Emily!
    You're welcome, of course, but the house so needs cleaning,
    That the nickname *Dust Bunny* would soon have new meaning!

    And KJ and Pammy and all of the crew, who love you so much may come right along too!

    Nighty-nite!
    XXOO!!
    Anne

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  16. lori, i take it you have experience making friends with a lion. how did you get past his/her snarly teeth? i tried to be nice as i was slinking out the door but the lion shook his head and growled; that's when i started hop hop hopping. i didn't think to buy a drink like a lime lioner tamer but is a good idea. you have good ideas, lori. but did the lion you knew take a bite of you or not?

    anne, let's plan a party and make everyone rhyme on time whether they whine or dine or stick their toe on the line or hold up a sign from behind. wanna, anne?

    most truly,
    emily r.

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  17. Awwwwh dear Emily... i know, i know (And just between You & me, it was the same sad state of affairs for me just last w/end...There are simply some places a Bunny shouldn't go!) xox

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  18. nolly, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    hehehehehheheehee!!!!!

    xo
    emily r.

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  19. Hey KJ,

    YOU keep them!!! I just blither them out and forget what I have written! It is all spur of the moment....it's not like I think or anything! LOL!!!
    Emily can tend them, yes? ;)

    XXOO!!
    Anne

    P.S. Blogger was hiding your comment from me...I was searching frantically to FIND it, or for it to post.
    BAD BLOGGER!!! >:\

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  20. Emily. There are wolves in bars, too. I've come across one or two and I'd hate to think about a bunny meeting one of those. They can be pretty scary, as well, even if they send over drinks with celery, carrots and all sorts of other good things in them...even pickles.

    Stay in the garden, dear Emily, with your jelly beans. Are you out? Would you like me to send some?

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  21. ????
    I have always ordered Bloody Marys strictly for the celery and the tomato juice. It's like a liquid salad . . . right? And veggies are good for bunnies.

    I thought all you had to worry about in bars was the bar flies.

    You should listen to kj, she is a wise ducky.
    :0)

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  22. dear dear emily, when i saw 'stay away from the bars' i thought they were the bars of a cage, and i thought that that nasty kj had locked you in a cage again to fatten up for this christmas...oops, where has she gone? emily has fainted, call the paramedics ...

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  23. Emily, Emily I think you are far too curious, are you sure you aren't a kitty pretending to be a rabbit, you little risk taker *!*

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  24. Emily, it's me......Wrobin......sorry I am a wittle wate in wesponding...
    but, I have some good advice for you - although I see your fwiends have also let some.

    Keep a supply of those wine jelly beans handy and also some whiskey-flavoured ones - the next time a bad Lion, Bear, Bull etc. bothers you, slip some of those beans in his drink - and he will soon collapse in a dwunken stupor... then, you can pick his pockets, pick up some extwa $$$ and scamper safely home.

    And in future...only visit bars when accompanied by one of us!

    Wove,

    ♥ Wrobin ♥

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