Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit's Year in Review

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Hello Everyone, it's me, Emily. I have been in Cleveland again visiting my favoriteUncle who is manufacturing jellybean pellets and I have been advising him on colors and favors, even though the pellets are actually grey we are coloring them and then adding sugar so no one will know that they are actually rabbit pellets and I am sure I won't get in trouble like I did at the church meeting because I am really just giving advice and Uncle Bunny usually knows what he is doing so I hope so.
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I thought I would show you some of my year in review today because I don't want anyone getting the idea that I am not a very versatile little rabbit with plenty of friends. I also thought I would give you some free advice because it is now springtime and I am in a good mood.
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Remember when I invested my money in the Stockpile market and they wouldn't give it back to me after they lost it? I still don't know why they put my money somewhere and then couldn't find it.
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My advice: Save a certain amount every week or every paycheck and let it grow somewhere even if it's in your sock drawer, because kj did this with her $ 20 bills and when she finally opened her piggy bank she was rich and she went on vacation.
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Or you could use some of your money and be nice by sharing it with someone who needs it because remember when we did this a while back and we raised money for acting lessons for a 13 year old girl and some money for Dreams International too and everyone was happy because it felt so good plus it was helpful? I myself have to save my money for my jellies and chocolate pretzels but I am happy to collect money for someone else and I might do it again so maybe you should save some in case I ask again soon.
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My advice: don't be too cheap when it comes to other people because kj says you never know...
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I don't like to brag that I am kind of famous because my Uncle Bunny was almost best friends with Janis Joplin but in case you didn't already know here is proof. Unfortunately Uncle Bunny got his heart broken anyway (not by Janis) which was very sad for a long time until he decided there was nothing he could do about it and then he took a yoga and meditation course which he said helped him and it probably did because he is now dating a model named Lucille and she seems to like him because he has a sneaky smile when ever he sees her.
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My advice: try to have at least one friend who might be famous but definitely don't have friends who don't care about your feelings or your heart and try to pick people who make you at least secretly if not sneakily smile at least some of the time.
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Boohoohoobooheehooboohoo! Remember when I got arrested? I am still very upset about it. It's a good thing it hasn't stopped me from getting in trouble in general because even though I would not want to end up in jail again I can't imagine not enjoying myself even if it means I might get caught or some mean person might not be nice to me for their own strict reasons.
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My advice: Always make sure you play enough, even if someone else doesn't like it.
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I don't want anyone to get the idea that I am not physically active but it's not my fault that I got kicked off the soccer team because the way they were playing was so boring and who would want to just kick a ball if you could have fun socking the people who get in your way and try to take the ball away from you and they are not even polite about it?
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My advice: Don't let anyone sock you around unless you don't mind and even then make sure you can sock them back; otherwise it's not fair.
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See that purple mark next to Mr. Budda? I have no idea where it came from or why, other than it matches my purple bikini but I'm not sure what that even means. Anyway, after Uncle Bunny started meditating I told kj to meditate too because her heart is still flying and fluttering around sometimes and even though she needs to move on about the friend who wasn't a friend she is still learning how and don't you agree that meditation is a good way to do that?
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My advice: OHM...oHM.....ohM. Breathe in, now out. OHM....
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Do you have your own dragon? So you know any dragons? Because they can be very helpful if you want to fly or you need to scare someone or even if you just want interesting company sometimes.
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My advice: It's good to have a variety of friends and even better if they are different than you because even though I myself cannot blow smoke from my nose or use my tail to knock grass out of the way I can enjoy hopping on my friend's back like this and playing and by the way she rarely gets mad so I don't see the smoke very much, which is good because once she melted all the candles on kj's porch and guess who got blamed for it?
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Speaking of friends, this as you might know is Muck, Truck and F___ Duck. kj still says I can't say "Fuck" but jeez if it's your name what are you supposed to do? Anyway, we play at the beach and I bob on their backs and they are very good and fun friends even though sometimes they talk too much.
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My advice: See above: friends who are different from you keep you bobbing and hopping and flying.
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Here I am pretending I am on a tropical island and of course I am wearing my purple pokadot bikini, which by the way I am replacing this year but I'm not sure with what. I am open to suggestions, but the point is it's good to wear things that you look good in and not things that make you look mean or frumpy.
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My advice: Clothes make the rabbit....
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Here I am gallivanting in the world with kj while she is working. Sometimes I sneak into her car when she doesn't invite me and while she is seeing clients I wander around people's backyards and check out who lives there. I like doing this because a lot of people where kj works are all different colors: black and brown and yellow and white and even orange.
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My advice: do whatever you can to keep your life colorful.
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Okay, now I am exhausted. This was a lot of writing, don't you think?
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I hope you like my advice just in case I start charging for it, but so far I am doing fine with my plan to plant my garden and of course borrow whatever else I need from other people's garden..
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I hope you are having fun. If you aren't having fun just don't forget to whine, kick high, and cry from your stomach. If you need another lesson, you can tell me.
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Sincerely,
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Emily Rabbit

26 comments:

  1. Oh, Emily, you made me laugh :-).
    I want a dragon for a friend! I love your advice and will remember it always. I am saving up for the next give away. I was very poor during the last one and was not able to give. This was a great year in review. Love you Emily!
    xoxo

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  2. thank you very much annie. dragons make very good friends as long as they don't get mad. do you fly annie? i am glad i made you laugh because you know i think i like laughing the best, even if it gets me in big trouble, which as you know it often does.

    your friend
    e.r.

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  3. Yes. It is finally spring...even where I live. And I think I may be kind of...overrun...with Rabbits this year, Emily...any advice? They are all very cute and all, but they do like to steal from my vegetable garden. Right now, I have not yet got any vegetables, and if the Rabbits stay, I may not have any for myself at all. Please help..

    I'll be saving my money for any donation you come up with this year, dear Emily! Thank you for the chuckle this morning...it was great!

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  4. marion, hello! i will talk to my relatives about this and see what scares us. i know i don't like mean scarecrows who swear, if that helps. kj says you are her good friend. did you know that?

    yours truly,
    emily r.

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  5. Good advice all. But jelly bean pellets? Is that like jelly bean poops?

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  6. Hi Emily, it's Wobin.... so glad your trip was enjoyable and that your "pellet plans" are progressing! You have given us a lot of good advice on this post... you are weally a wise wabbit.

    I think your purple bikini is FAB! Why change such a grrrreat colour! Ha-ha! (Although a one-piece slinky mallot might be KUHL!)
    (For a new hue: jelly-bean pink!)

    I am glad you accompany KJ while she works......I feel better knowing your presence is there with her. No one would mess with you, Ms. EW - oops, I mean Ms. E"R".

    Love and Pellets,

    ♥ Wobin ♥

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  7. Hi Emily so good to hear from you!
    KJ has to pay you a fortune for this post!
    You better charge her by the letter!

    I love that candleholder with pretty red shoes and you on the back. I have seen it before on your (ehum.... KJ's) blog but every time I see it it makes me smile!

    And you are very famous in that bikini!
    Thank Goodness it is nearly summer so you won't get a pneumonia!

    You take care and stay out of trouble!
    I am not saying you are not allowed to do naughty things but make sure you don't get caught!

    HAW and love to you dear fluffy friend!

    ♥♥♥
    >M<

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  8. Emily Rabbit, I would love to fly with you on your friendly dragon.
    You're so wonderful and your advice is awesome!

    KJ, thank you so much for writing what I wrote back to me. It took a couple of mini seconds to realise and then it was more special to read from you.
    Your awesome KJ!

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  9. love you emily - you make my day

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  10. You always bring a smile to my face Emily!

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  11. Emily I think you should be famous!!! No I mean more famous!!! Advice that makes me smile ... now that is just priceless. And you're right, we do need to fit more fun into our lives. Roll on. xx Jos

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  12. No matter how long it takes you to get to the point (I'm just sayin') you really do have some very good advice!

    And I love you ;P

    xoxoxo
    Lololo
    ♥♥♥♥♥♥

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  13. hahaaha, i had to laugh at lolos comment, but not at you dear emily! no, you make me smile and i will surely take all your good advice, except the part about staying out of jail because i never plan to go there!!
    happy thursday!
    xoxoxlori

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  14. secret agent, ssshhhh....

    wrobin, hello, thank you for the color suggestion. i like pink and it would match my ears and nose. i cannot protect kj but i can give her extra carrots (stolen) if she needs one, maybe two.

    marianne! you understand me and that is why you are my best friend. i am trying not to get caught when i do anything i would get in trouble doing. how about you? are you getting in trouble too?

    ms. julie-ann, thank you very much. if you want to fly on a dragon i suggest you start researching how you can do it. my dragon sometimes carries my friend gregory squirrel and once we picked up a pig named penelope, but she refuses to fly with people. it might be a weight thing.

    sincerely,

    emily

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  15. why thank you mim and caroline. that is very nice of you to say. i think it may affect my allowance negogiations...

    jos, do you roll? since you are very nice i am going to visit you so i know who you are even though kj already knows i should know too don't you think so?

    lololo, hmmmmmmfff! how is that for being very very brief. and i can do this too: pruhrrrrr! (i am puckering my lips and making a sound. could you tell?)

    lori, you never know, because i certainly did not expect to end up in jail and i was totally innocent even, so i think you should prepare just in case. p.s. kj says she would arrange bail for you.

    yours sincerely,

    e.r.

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  16. Thanks kj! You make me smile..!! And very good advices there !

    hugs,
    ~Silver

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  17. Emily, you are such a hoot!! I'd like to resond to each and every one of your wise bits of advice, but my lap top battery is flashing at me, showing signs that it will be running out of juice soon, but I'd like to thank you for keeping me well advised and entertained as I sit here in the waiting room before my next round of chemo. I didn't know you had family in Cleveland! That's where I grew up, and where my dad lives, who just spent the last week visiting me in New York! now he's on his way back.
    Well, here's to keeping life and the world a colorful place to be in - I'm so glad to have your kind of color to experience in my world :) By the way, my dogs favorite food item is rabbit pellets - the kind neighborhood bunnies leave behind after visiting our back yard, She's so grateful for their generosity... xoxox K

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  18. Emily, dear, scintillating post as always. It's a small world as they say. Your uncle was almost best friends with Janis Joplin, and my half-brother went to high school with her. Now, you and I are friends!!! I mean what are the odds of things like that being coincidental? I mean if THIS doesn't prove that God exists and that he's looking out for us, I don't know what does.

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  19. Just stopping by to say hello.
    Ummmm. . .
    "Hello!"
    :0)
    xoxoxo

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  20. Haha, as sunny as my day today! Love your dragon, no really I want one!

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  21. Be good and stop by my blog tomorrow for a little something..... :)

    XXOO!!
    Anne

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  22. ms. silver, hello, kj needs to pay me for writing this, don't you agree?

    ms. karin, ahahahhahaha! you are FUNNY! if your dog wants colored pellets, you can let me know and i could sell them to you at a very reasonable price. and cleveland! my uncle bunny also owns a bar called wrabbit whynot. :)

    hello angela, kj says tsup! and is trying to hug you. myself, i can offer a free radish anytime.

    snowbrush, i don't know why, but kj burst into laughter and couldn't stop after she read your comment. what is so funny about you and me and all our non-coincidences? i think you are a very smart man and i even like you alot.

    ms baino, you like the dragon because of the red shoes, don't you? i might keep my eye out for a fashionable dragon for you.

    anne, kj says ooooooooh!

    affectionately,
    emily v.v. rabbit

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  23. "i think you are a very smart man and i even like you alot."

    Same here, Emily. I even remember us talking about living together (platonically) when Blogland Lane was opened. Then KJ said you were underage, and mentioned something about your mother going ballistic. I mean, you're a rabbit. You're covered with fur. And you do lots of adult things. How was I supposed to know?

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  24. i am laughing so hard i can't breathe. this is for you only em, don't show kj.
    ' mary had a little lamb
    she also had a duck
    she put them on the mantelpiece
    to see if they could
    ffffffff.....fall off!'

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  25. Emily you are pretty smart rabbit. Since I haven't known you that long, I loved reading about your adventures.
    Thank you for your wise words.
    Even though I do understand how kj feels about getting hurt and going off and on about it, even though she is in a way better place and has way better friends now,
    sometimes it is just so hard to let go of being wronged. It is a good thing she has you to help her.
    It was a pleasure to get to know you better and I think a nice yellow sun dress would go great with the pink in your ears.

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