Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Animal Wednesday: Emily Rabbit in InAruba

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Hello everyone, it's me, Emily. I have been visiting InAruba for a week, having fun in the sun and making some money on the side, which I will tell you about but first I'm sure you will be very disappointed to know that I was NOT invited on the trip and had to sneak my way by hiding in kj's suitcase.
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It was the middle of the night when kj and JB left for the airport so I was not discovered until kj took off her shoes and was going through that big machine and by then when she saw me she gave me a terrible look but she didn't say anything until we got on the plane, and then she told me I would be punished for a year but I took my chances that she would forget and sooner or later relax, which fortunately for me she did.
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For the first couple of days I relaxed by the pool which was very nice and I managed to nibble on extra carrots and celery from the bloody marys and once I ate Mr. Ryan's bagel when he wasn't looking. But then I got the idea that I would socialize so I started wandering around and maybe I could locate some jellybeans or find a way to make some money.
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I got the idea that I would interview some interesting inhabitants on the island and then maybe I could make a movie and sell it to a Hollywood agent who would market it something like "Visiting Very Smart and Interesting Rabbit Makes Local Movie".
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First I asked the owner of a little restaurant why he thought anyone would care about rude fish. He looked at me like I was crazy until I showed him this sign and I told him that I thought he would make more money if he advertised polite fish instead of fresh fish. I thought he might pay me for the advice but instead he just laughed, although he did give me one celery stick and three pretzels.
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Next I interviewed a bird who had very unique eye makeup and I asked if she was interested in giving beauty lessons but I was surprised to find out she was a he bird and he was already doing that for the gay-straight feather alliance in InAruba. I was invited to a meeting but Donatella (her name) told me I would be the only rabbit and why did I want to go if everyone would be chirping and clucking and cooing and I wouldn't even understand most of what they were saying?
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I also met two iguanas and one was nice and one wasn't.
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The first one was named Isabella Iguana and really needed a manicure but I didn't say anything because at first I didn't know she was nice and those nails looked very scary to me. It turned out
she came in first three years in a row at the annual lettuce eating contest sponsored by one of the hotels and Isabella said it was because her nails were so long she could scoop up the lettuce faster than anyone else. She also had a very long tongue but I don't think there is any award for that in InAruba but you never know; maybe someday she could find a way to show off that tongue somehow, right?
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The other iguana was named Rusty and he was a big grouch. He told me he wouldn't even bother to talk to me unless I climbed up a tree with him and normally I wouldn't mind climbing up a tree because after all I've done that many times with my friend Gregory Squirrel but I was afraid this Rusty guy might push me down for no good reason and then where would I be, so I said no and he said 'then get lost'. Hmmmpf. Very rude, don't you think?
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It serves him right that his nails are not as long as Isabella's and never will be. I don't know or care about his tongue.
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Finally I decided to teach Mr. Ryan how to pick up an iguana by the tail but it didn't work at all because Mr. Ryan started crying as soon as the iguana starting squirming and threatened him if he didn't let go immediately. It was not my fault that Mr. Ryan cried or that the iguana said several swears including the F one before he huffed away.

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Oh, one more thing. You probably know that kj brought her colored pencils with her to InAruba, so one morning I borrowed them while she was busy bouncing on her rubber tube in that lazy river.

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And guess what?! Some woman with a big straw hat bought my drawing for $ 5!!!!!!!!!! She told me she had been thinking about how to roll for a long time, since her second husband walked out on her and when she said that I offered to teach her how to roll down a hill and cry from her stomach at the same time, which we all know is a very helpful thing to do, and guess what else?????? She paid me another $ 5 for lessons and actually I earned the money because I had to give her a push two times and one time she almost rolled on top of me.

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Anyway, these were some of my highlights inAruba. I had a nice time and kj relaxed enough that she shared her cookies with me on the plane ride home.
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Have a nice week. Maybe you should practice your own rolling?
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Sincerely yours,
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Emily Rabbit

22 comments:

  1. Oh my word Emily! What an adventure you have had! It was very clever of you to hide in kj's suitcase, it's too bad she didn't think to invite you, rabbits need vacations too - especially now that Easter is just around the corner! But I'm glad it all worked out. I love all your photos and stories, especially about the iguanas, what a pair, and those nails!!!

    Thanks for sharing, now I'll go do some rolling eventhough it's late - TTFN and HAW! Susan

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  2. first of all i am so jealous! i wish i would have thought to hide in the suitcase too, i've never been to inaruba!

    i'm glad you had such a good time, hopefully kj won't really ground you for a year. afterall, you saved mr. ryan from that gigantic iguana (your so brave!)

    your rolling advice is perfect except for the desert, where i've just been, there is a lot of cactus there and you don't want to roll on that!

    don't forget your green tomorrow little emily :)
    lots of love,
    lori

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  3. Good to see you again dearest friend!
    Missed you!
    Glad you had a good time in Aruba! Shame on KJ she wanted to leave you behind.......... she must have been overworked. Relaxed as she was after the trip she didn't forget you on Aruba, so that explains!
    Love that story how you made money with your drawing and that lady rolling on top of you......You should have asked danger money!
    I am in Rotterdam today waiting for a flight. Today will be the first spring day. I will prune my Bro's bushes.
    But first I must try to make an AW
    post and finish my morning coffee.
    My day started good with your story!

    Take care, ask KJ for double money
    and jellybeans!

    Love
    >M<

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  4. Emily i'm happy for you that you took the initiative to hop into that suitcase.

    Holidays are fun ;)

    love to you always
    ribbon

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  5. ps... i absolutely love the iguana header photo ... sooo beautiful and green ;)

    xx

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  6. hello little emily, so glad you made it back cos i missed you and kj big time! imagine how much money you could make if you and kj came to london. if you do, no when you do, i will order lots of iguanas and jellybeans and fat ladies just for you.bring lo with you and fetch marianne on the way over.

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  7. Well!! This is quite something. First off, I'm glad you spoke to that man about his rude fish - I agree with you - polite lay-on-your-plate fish would be much more pleasant. (did you ever see a sign for "battered shrimp"? ooh, it makes me shudder to think of those poor shrimp)

    Well, I am also glad that you were watching out for Ryan - who is way adorable in his little hat. But I'm also glad that he can't understand Iguana cause he's too little to know the F word.
    Happy Rabbit Wednesday Emily. We are glad you are around, we've missed you and it's been a few tough weeks in bloggyland

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  8. I love how iguanas look so dragon-like.

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  9. Hi Emily! Welcome home! I think you were wise to sneak along for a vacation of such glorious adventure. :) It's worth being grounded (maybe kj will forget she said that, try distracting her with green jelly beans today). Happy St. Pat's! xo Pam

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  10. What Secret Agent Woman said...! LOVE those iguanas, even Rusty the foul mouthed one. Isabella likes a tough guy.

    Donatella, the bird with an alternative live style and rolling with the punches....for a fee.

    Emily, you are headed for publication. Start thinking about the picture you want to use for the dust jacket.

    Oh yeah, kj is a push over for big white ears. Relax.

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  11. ms susan, i can be very clever even when it gets me in too much trouble, but really i like it that way. do you too?

    lori, i saw those sticky things on your sneaker and it's a good thing you knew not to try to roll in that desert. and you're right that kj forgot to punish me because really it wasn't my fault in the first place that i had to sneak myself into that suitcase, right? i wish you would talk to her lori about being more thoughtful. would you? i could give you jellybeans..

    marianne!!! my best friend!! when that woman rolled on me, marianne, i thought i was going to be flat like cardboard. she was very big. i was also out of breath trying to push her to roll too. i hope you have a nice day pruning. is that the same as eating prunes?

    ribbon, i like the way you see everything. you are nice.

    soulbrush, i will be sure to come to london with kj even if i have to sneak again. but what about chocolate preztels, are we having those too? just wondering....

    most sincerely,

    emily r.

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  12. mim, battered shrimp? HAHAHAHA! you are very funny mim and thank you for liking me but it would not have been my fault if ryan heard the F word, right? oh mim, kj says she missed you too and she wants to have lunch. if i come too i will bring you a present.

    secret agent, do you think smoke comes out of their noses? i didn't see it but i think so. do you?

    pam, you would have snuck in that suitcase too, right? i like that you get in trouble like i do and even if you get grounded, you can always get in trouble for that too. do you know kj's saint patrick's day joke? she tells the same one every year.

    linda, AH HAHAHA! how many jellybeans will a book get me? if it's more than 1000 i will need to figure out how to store them. will they melt in arizona?

    yours truly,

    e.r.

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  13. Oh, what a fun vacation you had, Emily!! I love that you got to go along and catch some sun and relax by the pool! Loved those iguana pictures you took. We had one once as a pet - his name was Archibald. Time to do some rolling... Love, Silke

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  14. Emily, you made me laugh, a lot! I am so glad you got to stay InAruba and that Kj did not send you home.
    Also I love your drawing and I am so happy you made some money :-).
    xoxo

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  15. Hi Emily!

    It's been a while since we've heard from you. That was smart of you to hide in you-know-who's suitcase. I'm sure if you asked JB she would have been nicer than KJ and she would have said "sure Emily, come along and don't forget to pack that awesome purple and white polka dot bikini so we can go bobbing."

    hey, I'm glad Isabella was nice to you because from what I hear ALL of the Iguanas are mean buggers, especially the ones with blue in them. That upsets me because you know blue is my favorite color and I would want to make friends with the blue guys but you can't have everything I guess.

    Ryan looks like he's more concerned about going pee than being bitten by an iguana. :P Just sayin'!! That was very stoic of you to protect him. (Look it up!)

    Your drawRing is beautiful! Did KJ give you drawRing lessons because you drawr a lot like her. If you want to learn how to drawr really awesome fish ask Mim to teach you!

    Speaking of Mim, did KJ tell you that we'll be coming to your house one day?? We'll be sure to bring treats for you and Stella!

    Okay, time to get things done around here. The dishes don't do themselves, have you ever noticed that? That just seems wrong to me somehow.

    Bye for now. Oh, and don't spend all your money at once. You may want to have some for when we visit so we can party!

    xoxo
    Lololo

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  16. Emily, I think I ought to send you $5, because that rolling and crying from the stomach advice is some of the best I've read in a long time. You really do have some brilliant ideas!!
    Thanks for sharing some of the highlights of your sneaky vacation - your photos really helped tell the story well. xox Karin

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  17. Looks like a splendid vacation. Love Emily drawn in the pool chair! And lastly, my experience has been that iguanas do use the F-bomb quite frequently.

    Regarding poetry, being content is not conducive to writing for me.
    **blows kisses** Deb

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  18. Tsup*!* haha thanks for the smiles Emily *!*

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  19. Oh, Emily...you are the most talented Rabbit I have ever met! Imagine teaching somebody something about life like that! Of course you should have been paid for it!

    Aren't you glad now that you took the bull by the horns and jumped into that suitcase?

    The photos are simply awesome! Ha, fresh fish...it's a mistake anybody could make!

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  20. I'm so glad your back with all your wonderful postings!!!!
    Love ~Pattee

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  21. Emily, I am catching up on your vacation. You sure know how to have a good one! I think you should be "on loan" to those of us who have forgotten what a vacation feels like!

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  22. hahaha!
    Must be my stupid English.......
    thought pruning was cutting bushes.....
    I took some garden scissors and cut the whole bush down to the ground, well thatś probably not pruning either just cutting drastically !

    have a wonderful day my best friend!!!

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