Sunday, February 28, 2010

Me Me Me


It's a lazy Sunday tapping me on the shoulder to tackle too-much paperwork. This is what I've been doing for the last three hours but it's time for a break. And what better way to relax and change the tone of things than to enter the treasures of the blogs. :)
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Barbara has very kindly given me a blog award that requests that I share seven things about myself. I haven't done a meme in a long time and the distraction from my taxes and bills and counselor re-certification is welcomed. So here goes:
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1. I read tarot cards. My Madame kj career began when I was 14 years old and I asked for a tarot deck for Christmas. My Mother, who knew nothing about anything occult and cared even less, bought me a James Bond Tarot deck (hee hee). I used it for a long time before I graduated to a standard deck, and I used that for a long time until I found myself in a Big Sur California gift shop and there was the Tarot Deck of my dreams. It is an herb deck and I use it to this day.
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It has taken me years to build up my confidence and my acceptance that the cards really do provide an ability to look ahead and to advise wisely. I can finally say I feel skilled. And I believe. I have enough experience behind me to say without reservation that I believe.
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2. When I was 13 I and four of my friends were arrested for breaking and entering into a closed-up mansion. We meant no harm, just curiosity, but it started me on a path of sometimes bending the rules with a smile. In high school I was occasionally sent to the Headmaster's office for talking too much or a little prank here or there, but I was always good natured about it and I accepted my punishments with a grin.
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Now a bonafide adult, I still have trouble behaving. I think someday I will be arrested for chasing down a police car and trying to make a citizen's arrest because the officer was ignoring the speed limit for no good reason. I get jumpy about hypocrisy and jumpier still about injustice. I don't see that changing any time soon.

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.3. Emily Rabbit first appeared to my partner JB and has been blabbing nonstop ever since. I rolled over laughing when she left this thank you note made from jellybeans. And honestly, I admire Emily's spunk. I wish I were as confident and clear about things and people as she is. Sometimes I am, but my feelings can be hurt easily. Most of the world knows my heart just about fell apart last year, what I can now say and view as a betrayal from someone I loved and trusted. Emily's solution has been to cry, whine, yell, throw frozen vegetables, and be done with it. She cannot understand my laments, and I actually welcome her point of view!
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4. One of the most precious moments of my life was seeing my Jessica give birth to Mr. Ryan. JB and I were at the hospital with her and my good-guy son-in-law, Mike. Now, three years and one Baby Drew later, I shout from the rooftops that this daughter of mine is an incredible mother. INCREDIBLE! It is an amazing thing to watch, to be part of. When Mr. Ryan does something he shouldn't, she stares at him and says, "Ryan, you are being a bad listener." It makes me laugh. It really does. And it works. :)

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5. For the past four years, I live in a farming community that is also culturally diverse because there are seven colleges and universities nearby. I don't like snow, cold, winters and because this is a valley there is all of that from November through March. I do my share of complaining.
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But come Spring, there is not a better place to be for a gardener-type like me. And come Fall, the colors pop in classic New England style. This field is less than a mile from my house, just behind the hotdog stand and golf range.

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6. JB and I have been together almost 25 years. I have her permission only sparingly to post her picture on my blog. :) She is a wonderful woman and a talented artist (collage and fiber) and she never fails to support what's important to me.
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I don't write much about being a lesbian but I can tell you that the advances in gay rights in the last decade have been monumental for me. There was a time when Jess was young when even as I was well liked and well respected, I would feel awkward, different, sometimes 'less than'. It was not until Jess was in college that we all relaxed and affirmed how lucky we are to be a family, to be ourselves.
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When Jess and Mike became engaged, they wrote JB and I a letter. In it Mike said that maybe we don't know it but he and Jess planned to model their relationship on ours. That letter is safely and forever tucked away in my sock drawer.
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7. And last: I was in New Orleans three weeks after Hurricane Katrina, working in a mental health center for the American Red Cross. I will never forget it. The devastation was impossible to describe, then and now. But I saw courage and humanity everywhere: families who lost everything, volunteers like me who worked 16-20 hours a day. The experience changed my life.
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Love
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kj

40 comments:

  1. I so enjoyed learning 7 new things about you...

    I don't like the cold either...
    I hate injustice in any form...
    I admire your "Prankster" self...

    Much much love~
    Pattee

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  2. That was great. I love that JB let you post her beautiful picture. 25 years is amazing and something to be proud of, as is going to New Orleans and helping, really the whole list is to be proud of. I too am a misbehavior :-), and I saw a policeman speeding the other day and thought of running him down and giving him what for.
    My blog misses you, come visit...
    xoxo

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  3. I really enjoyed getting to know you better through your seven shared somethings Karen. I also love your tributes to dear Renee. wishing you warmth through these snowy days, Karin

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  4. Wow, Kj, what a lovely post.
    You shared so much of your life and truthfully. It was all so beautiful.

    Hugs!

    Julie

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  5. I loved getting to know you a little better kj. I am very glad you took a break.
    There is James Bond tarot deck? LOL!!

    It seems sometimes that there is so much injustice, how do you keep from jumping out of your skin?

    I think you love real hard kj and are very sensitive, it is easy to get hurt then. But loving real hard and being sensitive are very admirable and valuable qualites.

    Emily sounds like a good influence and she is quite funny too.

    I loved watching my daughter give birth. I feel so lucky to have been there. You describe it so well.

    It is so gorgeous where you live. Do you grow a lot of herbs too?

    JB is beautiful and 25 years is amazing, well done you two. A family is a family no matter how it is set up. Love is the most important thing.

    You are an amazing and wonderful woman, so nice to meet you.

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  6. So nice to see a picture of JB again. Great list - I just did this very meme today, but went with more trivial items.

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  7. hello pattee, i am not surprised you don't like injustice any more than i do. much much love to you too xoxo

    annie, now i'm wondering if blogger ate my comments. you can be sure i check your blog regularly! i laughed thinking of you and me chasing down a police cruiser. can you just picture the sight of it? :)

    hello and welcome karin. i have read so many of your comments to renee. our collective tributes could fill a country. ♥

    pg, why that is quite a complement! thank you. ♥

    thanks julie, sometimes i think i share too much and other times i think i share too little. :)

    marie, what a generous comment you've left here. thank you very much. i deal with injustice by trying to do my part. i lose it however when i see children and animals mistreated. i do love hard but i am not as sensitive as i may appear. i can kick ass when needed. what happened to me last year involved someone i loved deeply and i did not expect to be left or villified. emily keeps telling me to get over it! of course she is right. last, yes, i have a garden: herbs, of course tomatoes, dahlias in honor of my Father. so nice to meet you too, marie. ♥

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  8. cs, you did the same meme today? hmmmm, is this a case of great minds.....? :) i've been thinking of you today. how are 'we' doing?

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  9. Hi kj! I have so enjoyed reading more about you. I am amazed that you know how to read tarot cards (James Bond! haha!). I cracked up at your criminal life (hee hee) and would love to join you when you pull over the speeding policeman. I love the picture of JB, she is a pretty lady. :) I'm glad you two have each other, finding love is what it is all about. I don't know if I will get to see grandkids (my kids are swearing off of parenthood - haha!), but I can imagine it is a wonderful experience. You're a good person with a big old heart. Glad to meet you! ;) xox Pam

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  10. What a lovely post, kj. Thanks for sharing more of who you are.

    I too have been in "hot soup" for pranks throughout my life (going to Catholic school through 5th grade didn't help, either), and am frequently tempted to pull over a cop who is speeding, turning without using his blinker, etc.

    xoxo

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  11. I myself have always been extremely well behaved......snicker snicker snort snort.

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  12. It has been a pleasure getting to know you kj! Thanks for sharing so much about your wonderful life - you are so blessed to have a wonderful partner, daughter and grandchildren, and of course Emily, they are all beautiful! Your thoughts about social injustice sparked many ideas in my mind to illustrate for illustratin friday, but I just got so overwhelmed! I will fit those expressions in at some point when I don't have a time limit.

    Thanks so much for your visit today and your lovely comments. Good luck with photoshop if you give it a try. I'm finding it very frustrating and fascinating at the same time. I will be starting lessons with an artist friend of mine (God bless her!) so that should help. I don't plan on it replacing my colored pencils or watercolors permanantly though. Thanks also for your well wishes for Cosmo - don't worry about the 's', he does get that sometimes, but when we first got him, my Mom kept calling him "Costco", like the warehouse, so he's had worse! Also, strangers we meet always think I named him after Kramer from Seinfeld - who I love - but he had nothing to do with it, I just love the name! Say hi to Emily for me and have a great week!

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  13. A lovely, self-disclosing post kj. I love women who are unpredictable and daring! Your JB looks like a lovely woman, and you have much to be proud of as a partner, mother and grandmother!

    BTW - I now seem to be blocked from the blog where you told me you enjoyed my comment. So much for following the buddhist principles of loving-kindness ... I'm hoping it is just a glitch with Blogger. Are you still able to access her blog?

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  14. what a great post, loved learning more about you and seeing jb for the first time. i was not surprised about the tarot cards.being arrested, but the lack of confidence that you meantion more than once, so are you like me, the 'graceful swan' on the outside and the 'headless chicken' on the inside?, love ya kj.

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  15. pam, i and my big ol heart would love to have you join me in chasing down speeding police!! haha!

    vicki, you sound like me, right down to our catholic influence! i was ah, 'removed' from cdc class too for being too talkative. :)

    debra kay, HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    susan, i think when i start learning photoshop i may not come up for air. i expect to get addicted to it! your use of watercolors and colored pencils excites me because that is what i like to do too. xoxo

    bonnie, 'unpredictable and daring'? i consider that a high compliment--thank you! :) ps i'm sure it's a glitch with blogger.

    soul, i don't lack confidence in many/most areas, but i've learned in the last year that i have abandonment issues! okay so i've said it publicly--! i am sure we are similiar in many ways ♥

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  16. (Ps) Now i have a pay pal account (!!!) i think that will make it easier for me to buy your book... So what do i do again? (Tee! Hee! i'm a hopless intranetty girl!)

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  17. nolly, i luvs ya too.

    to buy the book, click on buy the book (heehee) on my sidebar and it should pop up for an easy order.

    let me know because i will send you a signed book plate with alot of smoochies from me to you plus one giant tsup!

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  18. Tsuply Greetings Madame Kj, I looked in on you earlier whilst having a break from my boring paperwork but didn't get chance to read all the way through so I've returned and have had a giggle over your mother buying you a James Bond Tarot deck, soooo did you stir or shake the cards *?*

    Hypocrisy makes me jump up and down making me red in the face, dumb struck and all bulgy eyed. Smiles to you from me*!*

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  19. You didn't write that you are a sweetie according to those in the know.

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  20. Ooh read my cards! Can you do it over the net? And don't dare 'behave'. I have a fridge magnet that says "You may only be young once but you can stay immature forever" That's my plan. Sorry I didn't really notice the jellybeans. I'm too busy admiring your dishwasher. Mine's about 6 foot 1 and doesn't do a very good job. I'm still not quite ready to be a granny but you and I are blessed with amazingly capable and beautiful daughters. And I don't mean that lightly. And that is an absolutely beautiful picture of JB she has the most wonderful face. Bless you for volunteering in New Orleans. I think of Haiti and Chile and the wonderful people who are on the ground making a difference. You are lovely. In every way. Nope, not going to say it till I meet you!

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  21. Hi Dear,

    Just a quick note to say I have been busy lately and things are pilling up here......
    Once back from chicago I will take time to read the things I have missed.
    This post is lovely especially the part about JB and how your daughter and her DH used the both of you as a model for their relationship. Well how beautiful is that!!!!!
    Hope you can handle your pain about renee KJ!

    You take care!
    hugs
    >M<

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  22. Thanks for joining in on the meme. I really enjoyed reading about you!

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  23. We are kindred spirits and you express your life with beauty.

    I read tarot, the alchemist deck.

    I love that your daughter and her husband model their relationship after yours -it's huge. I'm only beginning to see how much work a good relationship takes.

    I would love to chat about memoir so if you feel inclined please email me.

    much love

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  24. A really super post, kj. I loved seeing JB's photo...she exudes kindness and beauty. Bending the rules...isn't that part of life, heehee? And injustice...don't even get me started on that one!

    I never knew there was a James Bond tarot deck! I can't imagine. I started using the Tarot in my teens. I've now had a Mythic Tarot deck for over thirty years. It's quite tattered now, yet it still gives me such great advice!

    Love you, kj!

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  25. Dear KJ - where IS that James Bond Tarot pack? I am envious....it's my kind of pack! I love intrigue - and martinis! (Ha-ha!)

    However your current pack is lovely and reminds me of the many "Flower Faeries" items one can purchase in Ireland and England.

    I have always shyed away from Tarot readings.. but after last year, I may decide to have one....part of my 2010 "Change of Pattern"...

    I loved finding out more about you...you are a remarkable woman. full of love and courage. I admire your picking up and simply going to New Orleans after "Katerina"...

    Your daughter sounds as wonderful as her Mother! I love what she said about your relationship with JB.... the two of you really have a special love...and it shows in both your faces.

    As for Emily - well, what can I say? A REMARKABLE "Wabitt"...and she has taught all of us humans a lot about life...

    Life in "KJ's World" IS beautiful, full of real, heartfelt emotion.
    It's a great place to live and for us far away, a great place to visit.

    ♥ Love ♥

    Robin

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  26. Oh, how fun getting to know seven things about you. And you were so detailed about them... Loved those photos!! And, most of all, you reminded me to get out my tarot cards again.... Love, Silke

    P.S. Come on over to my blog and see my favorite cook book!

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  27. annie, i thought the james bond cards were cool at the time. but they were not surprisingly weird! of course we see injustice in the same way--not surprising one bit! ♥

    mim, (blush) awwwww, mim...♥

    baino, i love you! i love you! i love you! HAHA! you know you are going to meet JB. i am sure you will like one another. and our daughters...yes, we are blessed. and don't worry about maturing. tht is not going to happen to either of us. in fact i think i'm headed backwards. p.s. i love you! hee hee again.

    hello marianne, i always love hearing from you. i am so sad about renee--i miss her terribly, but i am so glad i and so many wonderful people became her friends. i know the blogs brought her great joy. xoxox

    barbara, it was fun to do. and thanks again for the award. it means alot to me. ♥

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  28. staceygirl, i will most certainly email you. i wish you were in my memoir group. it is amazing. email me too if you get to me before before i get to you. ♥

    marion, i love everything i know about you. i love that you read the tarot too. coming attraction: ring, ring: marion, it's me, kj! xoxo

    robin, you are a wonderful wonderful woman. i am delighted to know you. i really mean that. i went to new orleans because the red cross was in desperate need of mental health workers. they scooped JB and i up one day after we called them. we were shocked that they put us both in charge of the unit in saint bernard county, the most damaged area. it was heart wrenching and heart affirming. friend, i think it might be time for your own blog.
    you can write. ♥

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  29. silke, i just left you a comment on your blog but i had seen your cookbook post already and i have to tell you it choked me up. three generations. the more i learn about you the more i like and admire you. and you too read the tarot. i'm surprised how many of us in the blogs do that. sometimes i feel like i have stepped into the land of kindred souls. i love that. ♥

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  30. Well, I nearly fell off my chair...
    I just came here now because it is the first time the Cons-cast as I call them let me be for more than five minutes (they are "installing" something and we are in and out of the web like through a revolving door since Saturday. It is not the first time they have screwed up the entire neighborhood for 3 or 4 days. If there is such a thing as hell these people have reservations, first row center there for the trouble they cause)so finally now I can go around visiting from bed. Yes, I am still babying the back and the back is taking advantages of me.

    When you get the answer to your question you may be the one to fall off the chair. If you do, don't hurt your back. We don't need that in common! Take care Madame KJ. I will do likewise.

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  31. Oh, I wish we had the angel power too kj, oh how I wish we did. I could heal my daughters eyes then too!!
    Together strong.
    Thank you so much for coming by,
    Love,
    Marie

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  32. What a wonderful post, how kind of your son-in-law to write you that letter! Have a wonderful day. xx

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  33. I love what you have written here.

    I knew I was right in asking you to be a part of the original crew;)

    Beautiful to see a photo of your life partner... how cute is she?

    You're a bit of a star kj :)

    xx Ribbon

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  34. You are a wealthy woman in life Ms. KJ. Wow!
    But what goes around, comes around and you deserve all the love and goodness you get. I loved the letter from Mike, whoa.

    I'm here to tall everyone that you are INDEED still a prankster and often times a pain in the ass!
    But you can't fool anyone by trying to be something you're not because you end up cracking up and blowing the whole thing! (Like pretending to be your answering machine when I call and then you LAUGH because you know you blew it!) And what's up with having to knock on walls? Oh, I could go on and on :)

    nah, I'll save it for the next time you try to fool me!

    Wonderful list Kj. The world needs more people like you (and I mean that.)

    love love,
    Lo
    xo

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  35. back, stop acting up on allegra! she has places to go. allegra, so we can share the tarot. i got your email and am fascinated. i will write soon. xoxo

    marie, ♥ i look forward to learning about you and your family.i will include your daughter in my magic prayers. xoxo

    sag, the letter blew me away. i cried every time i read it and i read it 100 times the day it arrived in the mail. xoxo

    you are one of my favorite stars, ribbon. ♥

    lo, i have been exposed. but who could not prank and play with you? you are too fun! and to quote a mutual friend of ours with two long ears and one fluffy tail, it's not my fault you laugh. you are ripe for the taking, expect for that great joke about the monk in the diner. thank god debra kay gets it. hee hee ♥

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  36. Kj, thisis a post that will remain with me a long, long time!! Thank you!

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  37. you are an incredibly lovely woman kj and one i am proud to call friend.
    it was really fun to learn more about you. and jb.
    good to take a break from that stuff you were doing, this was more fun i think!
    ♥ lori

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  38. lori, if i may borrow your words: you are an incredibly lovely woman lori and one i am proud to call friend

    ♥kj

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