Saturday, January 16, 2010

Special Occasions


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Mr. Ryan is having a birthday party tomorrow. He is three, Baby Drew is 9 months, and their Grandmother--me--remembers the day and night their parents were married, like it was yesterday. This is not the best picture of Jess or me that day, but I think the look on my face says everything about how much I love this girl of mine.
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It was a grand wedding, one I wrestled with how so much money could be spent for one fleeting day: until the day began, and then I knew there could be no price on the memories. It was magnificent.
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I've spent a good part of today trying trying to clean up my home office. It is a huge task. In organizing my writing papers, I came across the speech I gave at Jess and Mike's wedding reception. I wrote this before I thought of myself as a real writer:
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Thank you all for being her tonight to celebrate with us. What a treat to meet Jess' coworkers, to get to know Mike's family and high school and college buddies, to see the faces of Jess' fantastic friends--some we've just about grown up with ourselves!--to have our own family and friends here with us.
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Tonight we are a community in this grand ballroom, and it doesn't get much better than sharing a moment like this with the special people in our lives.
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Jess was about eight months old when she said her first word. We were in the back seat of a friend's car when from nowhere she looked up, pointed to the roof, and clearly said 'light'. There is not a more fitting word than 'light' when I think about who Jess is and who she will always be. This girl lights up the world.
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When Jess was eight, I got a call at work telling me that she had had an accident at school and had been taken to the emergency room. I probably drove 90 miles an hour to get to her. I rushed into the ER and there she was--calmly sitting on a gurney, her leg in a cast, proudly displaying a pair of crutches. She held those crutches tightly in front of her, looked lovingly at them, smiled at me, and said, "I've waited my whole life for this...."
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Today is another day that you wait your whole life for. In Mike, Jess has found a guy she clearly and totally loves, and her loves her back. Our celebration tonight is about the power and the wonder of love.
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Mike, we welcome you into our family and we are thrilled that Jess is part of your family. We promise to keep our opinions to ourselves (most of the time) and to call before we visit.
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We hope you'll forgive us if we have an occasional lapse and every so often offer unsolicitious advice. Like, tonight...right now....
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There are two things I want to tell you both as your start your life together:
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First, protect each other. Go to bat for one another. Draw a circle around your relationship that provides a resting place and shelters you both from harm's way. No doubt you will sometimes take your frustrations on on each other, but every day let your actions confirm and reaffirm that no matter what, you will be there for each other.
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Second, keep your feet firmly in the present moment. Avoid getting too caught up in trying to correct the past or plan for the future because when you do that, you can too easily miss the sound of crickets in the grass or the kind gesture of a good friend or total stranger.
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It's important to have and pursue goals, but you should know that the present moment is truly all there is. It can take a lifetime to learn this the hard way, so I hope you guys don't miss too many moments of your life together.
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Jess & Mike: it is written that when children find true love, parents find true joy. Here's to your joy and ours, from this day forward.
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And from this moment forward, it's time to party!

34 comments:

  1. Ah what joy!
    This must have been such a wonderful moment!
    I don't know what it is to have a daughter . I only hope to get a wonderful daughter in law some day. Someone who makes my boy (s) the happiest man on earth, something he deserves because he is the most wonderful young man on the planet.

    Thanks for this beautiful post!

    ♥♥♥
    >M<

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  3. You might think it is not the best picture but I do!
    Happiness says it all!

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  4. I have never read a more perfect speech for the bride -- and the photo just radiates joy. (And my own wishes are reflected in Marianne's words.)

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  5. marianne, how wonderful it is to love our children-love that cannot be described. do you want a daughter-in-law like emily? hahaha!

    andrea, hello my friend! i like that we're back in good touch with one another. yay! ♥

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  6. The photo is wonderful.... joy written all over it.

    Your speech is fantastic... thoughtful and wise.

    What a beautiful Mum you are.

    My Mother wouldn't even be photographed with me at my wedding, let alone offer a speech.
    ... aren't people silly the way they hurt themselves sometimes :)

    x Ribbon

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  7. lovely photo, lovely faces and wonderful speech.

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  8. You both look so happy and beautiful in the photo. So happy to see it!

    Your speech was poignant.

    much love!

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  9. Awww wonderful speech and mother daughter photo, bet there wasn't a dry eye at the reception*!*

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  10. Thats was so beautiful, sincere, and true love of mother to her child.

    Love that picture xoxoxoxo

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  11. I love the picture kj and I love the look on your face. Bliss!
    What a beautiful speech, I was laughing and then crying,then laughing again. Beautiful, just beautiful.
    Have a great weeklend!

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  12. I don't yet know you very well, nor do I know your daughter, but just wanted you to know I just cried at your daughters wedding *your tribute to her/them. So touching. Thanks for sharing.

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  13. I think it is a wonderful photo of you and she is lucky to have a mother so loving as you.

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  14. ribbon, i don't like that you were hurt. even if you didn't get that photograph or speech, you deserved it.

    "aren't people silly the way they hurt themselves sometimes :)"

    ribbon,yes. and please come here because i want to hug you for the way you've said this... ♥

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  15. thank you mim. tired tonight, huh?
    :)

    thank you, stacey. i hear you have company... :)

    bimbimbie, the thing that meant the most to me was my daughter's face while i said this speech. she was proud of me....

    hi sonia! we mothers know how to love!

    dear marie, it made me laugh that you laughed at some of this speech. i am so glad--thanks for getting me! ♥

    lynn, hahahaha! that is so cute! i like your sense of humor, lynn xoxo

    sophia, yes, jess is lucky. i wish you had had that. but don't give up: hold out for unconditional love. xoxo

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  16. that was such a wonderful speech!!!

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  17. OH the JOY ♥

    it IS truly a great photo of you both kj. It is a mother's love captured and there is NOTHING more beautiful.

    You are both beautiful.

    and so is your speech.

    lucky lucky Jess. lucky lucky you.

    L♥ve, lori

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  18. kj first the picture is beautiful. Absolutely stunning both of you.

    How blessed your family is. I feel blessed to even know you guys a little.

    xoxox

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  19. This is one of the most beautiful speeches I have ever 'heard' on a wedding. It is fun, wise ánd very encouraging too. The picture is wonderful. Mother and daughter look so happy. Thanks for sharing, dear KJ.

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  20. Ryan is three years old you say? Wow where has the time gone? Happy birthday to that beautiful grandson of yours KJ.

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  21. i see the joy in both of your faces. I always wondered if I disappointed my mom in that i ran into the JP's to get married, w/ no fanfare. Great memories and happy b-day to Mr. R.

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  22. This is one of the most loving and beautiful shots of a mother and daughter I've seen in awhile. You and your daughter looks so alike; you both absolutely shine here!

    There couldn't have been many people at the wedding with dry eyes. This was a three hankie speech if there ever was one. Thank you for sharing such a warm piece of your heart, kj.

    Love and hugs,
    Marion

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  23. Sorry kj - I've been busy and falling behind with my blog visiting. I just loved reading this and Wow! what a wedding speech!! I would have been mopping up my tears throughout had I been there. Note to self - need good supply of tissues for daughter Louisa's wedding later this year!The photo of you with Jess is truly lovely - it just exudes happiness and love. x

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  24. Wow, very beautiful speech, Mother of the Bride ;)

    I have to say the part that really made me grin was when Jess said she had waited her whole life for those crutches!
    I can't wait to meet her.
    I already feel like I know her a little.

    I know she has an awesome mom!

    xoxoxo
    Lo

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  25. kj - I cam over here to tell you I read on Renee's blog about the red rubber ball, and I thought "She always says things that I feel, but I can't put into words." Thank you for putting it into words. :) And what a beautiful, sweet photo of you and your daughter. Your post brought tears to my eyes! :) xox Pam

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  26. Absolutely wonderful!
    :0)
    Hugs and love to you all,
    xoxoxo
    Angela

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  27. I love your speech to your daughter and son in law.... The picture says it all and I think it's a great Photo!!!

    Ok Kj.... I'm sure Renee and Sonia won't mind one more! : )

    I'll start including you in our plans...
    Love~pattee

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  28. Beautiful...the picture does tell the whole story. Loved what you wrote. Joy. Pure.

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  29. how do we know, thank you. it's nice to see you here. i'll be visiting you soon.

    lori, i thought of you when i posted this picture--we mothers. it's fun getting to know eachother in this way, lori. it makes me happy &hearts

    dear renee, get to know us alittle? HAHAHAHA! the law of karma cannot allow me too know you guys ALOT and you to know us guys alittle! you know more than you think about the kj household! ps i love you. :)

    wieneke, i read your comment and how i wish we could have that apple pie together. ♥

    kay, i don't know where the time has gone! does it have to do with age? technology? it is so nice to hear from you, kay swishhhhhh! xoxo

    suki, you mention your Mom and i can see her face. she is so beautiful. i think she would have told you if she was disappointed?

    marion, (do you mind if i tell you i have come to love you? it's true. i do.) it was such a FUN wedding it was hard to cry. we danced into the night. and we all stayed at the hotel where the reception was so nobody held back... :)

    caroline, oooh, a wedding next year. get ready, you WILL cry. i wasn't sure i could make it through the church service. but jess made it fun. she rented a trolly and dragged us through makeup and lunch and a tour of the boston red sox ballpark before we got to the church. by then it was all so cool. xoxo caroline. tsup!

    lo, there is not a doubt in my mind you will meet jess and like jess. she is a bit of a wise guy, but she also has a dignity and beauty about her. the line you love is my favorite part too. (love you, lo)

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  30. I think you are both beautiful and I love your suit! And the toast is beautiful too. xoxo ♥ :-).

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  31. hello pam, thank you for coming by and for understanding my words about renee. i've been over to your place and will be back. ♥

    angela, hugs always to you, my friend. xoxo

    pattee, ooooh, i'm so happy to be in such good company!

    linda, thank you. and now for an update on renovations! :)

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  32. Hello to my number one fan :D you are so sweet! i love this post, it is wonderful and real and the story about Jess and the crutches made me laugh out loud! U look adorable together! Great things kj!
    big love, valgal

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  33. OH my. I can see myself having to do this one day. Fantastic speech. You look absolutely lovely in that cream suit my girl. Just beautiful. I'll probably give my girl away if only she can find a man! We share wonderful daughters kj. And I'm not fond of toddlers as you know but Drew is rather cute in a goofy three year old kinda way.

    @ Marianne, I have the most beautiful, intelligent, well travelled happy 25 year old who just can't find Mr Right, maybe we should arrange something . .

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