Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Animal Wednesday: Uncle Bunny and Janis Joplin

It's me, Emily! This week I am telling a family story and using my best grammar and extra vocabulary. Cheap kj is paying me $ 10 this time because this is a present for Debra Kay, who is having surgery and by some unbelievable coincidence wanted to hear about me and Janis Joplin. How she knew my Uncle Bunny knew Janis Joplin is anybody's guess. Anyway, here's the story. kj and I hope you like it Debra Kay.
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Oh, one more thing. My mother insisted I use the word 'fudge' instead of the F-word, but I just couldn't do it. Even I knew that would be wrong wrong. Hopefully she won't read this. But maybe you should know even though I'm a little rabbit, there are some F swears in here. kj says ms. renee will like that. Maybe even Marianne will like that. I'm not really sure.
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First of all, I am not impressed with people who scream too loud, even though I do sometimes when I am very mad or very sad. But have you ever heard Janis Joplin? Because she screams so loud it could hurt your ears except it doesn’t because she sings while she screams and I like it because you know she is not going to let herself get pushed around and I like that because it’s better to protect yourself than to cry or whine about it. Right? I think rabbits and people would agree on that.
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Anyway, my mother told me that Janis Joplin came to Bunnyville to meet my uncle Bunny McGee in 1969. It is a little known fact that the song that she sang about Bobby Mcgee was really about Bunny Mcgee, who was named after Bunny’s grandfather, BeeBop Bunny McGee II, who had Bunnyville named after him because he had a huge garden and gave away free carrots and lettuce if you were nice to him.
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Anyway, one day Janis Joplin was in Midland Texas and she was throwing rocks at the side of a building and screaming her head off. Bunny happened to be hopping by and noticed this plump frumpy woman with wild hair snarling her words and waving her hands all over the place and he stopped and asked her why she was screaming and snarling and she told him to fuck off.
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My mother likes to tell the part about Uncle Bunny that he loved loved loved people who swore and spit. I can’t tell you why except my mother thinks he wanted to be John Bunny Wayne when he was a little rabbit, so he grew up with a chip on his shoulder and figured he could have public temper tantrums as long as the rabbits and people around him weren’t too sensitive or wimpy about it. So when Bunny heard Janis Joplin screaming, he liked her right away.
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“The son of a bitch left me” she hollered. She did not seem to notice that Bunny McGee was a rabbit and she proceeded say ‘fuck this’ and ‘fuck that’ until she looked again at Bunny and said, “Who the fuck are you?”
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Uncle Bunny, who was not yet a grown rabbit, reached into his man pouch and took out twelve jellybeans and a half a carrot. “Here,” he said. “You are obviously a mess so you might do better with some jellybeans. I don’t know about the carrot.” Janice Joplin laughed so hard she doubled over. “Keep your fucking carrot,” she said, “but gimme those jelly beans.”
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That is how Janis and my Uncle Bunny became friends. She told him he was the only rabbit she liked and for Christmas she sent him 25 pounds of jellybeans and seven pounds of radishes. Uncle Bunny’s mother was not happy about the jellybeans but by then Janis Joplin was famous and she didn't dare seem ungrateful.
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Unbeknownst to anyone, Janis Joplin arrived in Bunnyville for Uncle Bunny’s 16th birthday party. My mother said she looked like hell and could barely stand up straight, but she stood on the purple rock in the middle of the playground and sang “Me and Bunny McGee.” She apologized to Bunny that this guy Kris Kristofferson used the wrong last name but when she sang the song, she did it the right way:
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Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train
And I's feeling nearly as faded as my jeans.
Bunny thumbed a diesel down just before it rained,
It rode us all the way to New Orleans.
I pulled my harpoon out of my dirty red bandanna,
I was playing soft while Bunny sang the blues.
Windshield wipers slapping time,
I was holding Bunny's hand in mine,
We sang every song that driver knew.
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Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing don't mean nothing honey if it ain't free, now now.
And feeling good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues,
You know feeling good was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bunny McGee.
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From the Kentucky coal mines to the California sun,
Hey, Bunny shared the secrets of my soul.
Through all kinds of weather, through everything we done,
Hey Bunny baby? kept me from the cold.
One day up near Salinas,I let him slip away,
He's looking for that home and I hope he finds it,
But I'd trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday
To be holding Bunny's body next to mine.
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Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing, that's all that Bunny left me, yeah,
But feeling good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues,
Hey, feeling good was good enough for me, hmm hmm,
Good enough for me and my Bunny McGee.
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La la la, la la la la, la la la, la la la la
La la la la la Bunny McGee.
La la la la la, la la la la la
La la la la la, Bunny McGee, la.
La La la, la la la la la la,
La La la la la la la la la,
ain`t no bumb on my Bunny McGee yeah.
Na na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na na na na
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Hey now Bunny now, Bunny McGee, yeah.
Lord, I'm calling my lover, calling my man,
I said I'm calling my lover just the best I can,
C'mon, hey now Bunny yeah, hey now Bunny McGee, yeah,
Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lord
Hey, hey, hey, Bunny McGee, Lord!Yeah! Whew!
Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy LordHey, hey, hey, Bunny McGee.
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Before she left Bunnyville, Janis Joplin gave Bunny a picture of herself . Bunny hung it in his rabbit hole bedroom and it is still there. Both Uncle Bunny and my mother think that I am a lot like Janis Joplin because I like to scream and snarl if I have to. Plus it’s not my fault if people don’t like me or understand me and Uncle Bunny said his friend Janis was the same way.
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Now, truly, don’t you think I earned the $ 10 kj paid me to make Debra Kay smile? Maybe she should have even paid me $ 15.00.
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Yours truly,

.
Emily Rabbit

33 comments:

  1. Wonderful story, Emily. You should get at least 20 bucks for that!

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  2. Emily Rabbit I would pay you 50 doll hairs for this story.

    Thank you for putting a song in my head that will be there for the rest of the night.

    Love Renee xoxo

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  3. ms barbara, why thank you. would you mind telling kj to pay me $ 10 more?

    ms. renee, doll hairs? hahahahaha.
    how about doll ours? that means you get kj to pay $ 40 more and i will give you $20. how about it?
    lalalallalalalalameandbunny mcgee........lalalalala

    your truly
    emily r.

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  4. Hello there! So happy you stopped by my blog round 'bout the way of our beloved Renee. Because now I get to meet you and your lovely blog! So enjoyable! I shall be back for another visit soon. **blows kisses** Deborah

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  5. what an intriguing story...I followed it right down the bunny hole! And if us Furrydance cats had any green papers of our own, we'd give you at least five more!

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  6. 10 is surely underpayed!
    Hope it will cheer Debra up!
    Thanks for sharing all these historical facts with me, learned something again from you.
    btw I swear too much too, just can't help it, not very ladylike I know........
    You buy a lot of jellybeans from your salary!
    Enjoy and HAW!!!

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  7. Em, I knew you had a story up your -well, you don't wear sleeves, do you? Thank you so much for telling me, and thank kj for paying you too.

    I agree about yelling people, don't care much for it or stomping either, or arm flapping. When Janis yells, it kind of makes me want to join in, only I don't unless no one else is around.

    I bet if she'd hung around more with Bunny she would have been happier, but maybe she wouldn't have yelled so well. But you know, maybe she WOULD have.

    The girls on the view were talking about the F word today. Out of politeness, I don't use it when my audience would be offended. Unless of course, I WANT to offend them, then I blast it away at just the right time.

    It's also very useful to silence shouting, etc. if no one is expecting you to use it. Next time every one is yelling at you and you need 30 seconds to think, yell "WELL FUCK" and that should give you time to think (if you are fast) or run if you can't think of anything. This information could well save your life.

    I'm off to shower and go get some "happy juice" and take a nice snooze. Thanks for the send off my dear.

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  8. deborah, do you know that i am not kj and kj is not me? i am a little rabbit and once a week i write here and kj does not appreciate that i have fans. humpf! (kj says thanks for coming by)

    teri, rabbits and cats get along most of the time.

    marianne, you swear? i am very surprised. do you say the f word? do you have an accent when you say it? :)

    debra kay, kj and i are telling you to take it easy and don't forget to cry from you stomach and kick your feet if you have to. xo

    sincerely yours,
    emily r.

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  9. Dear Emily,

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making my day!! This is the best drug to go to bed with...laughter ;) Not that I go to bed with drugs per se, it's just that....oh never mind.

    You are a HOOT, a laugh a minute, a RIOT and I love you!

    la la la la, la la la, la la la la la la la...hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm, Bunny Mcgee yeah...

    btw, Salinas is very close to where I live but dont tell anyone.

    xoxoxo
    Lololo

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  10. Ffffffffff-abulous post!
    Made my day
    X:-)

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  11. lololo, kj told me that about salinas. i told her i want to come to visit you there but she told me you are coming here instead and she said you will probably play in the back yard with me. do you know how to play "give the rabbit a quarter?" i can teach you.

    nollyposh, FFFFFFFFF! that was fun. more: FFFFFFFF!

    mostly love,

    emily v. v. rabbit

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  12. Emily, emily, em....you got me laughing at 4:40 in the morning - bunny mcgee indeed!! Ya know, I saw Janis Joplin in concert sometime and there was a little white bass player in the back - was that your uncle? He was rippin' into that bass and cursing his ears off. So cool...
    I would pay you an extra 10 doll hairs; or even money for this story - you are such a talented vegetarian.
    happy bunny wednesday to you, love mim

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  13. Holy Cow that was one hellava story for $10 Emily, but Dearheart, you are a RABBIT, rabbits dont need money - maybe KJ will pay you in carrots?

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  14. mim that might have been uncle bunny. did he have a birthmark on his right ear?

    lavender, of course i need money. jellybeans don't grow on trees you know...

    very sincerely,
    emily rabbit

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  15. I liked it :-)

    best wishes
    Ribbon

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  16. Emily ... this is the best fucking story ever!! xo, Melissa

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  17. ribbon, i'm glad you liked it because i would have cried if you didn't.

    melissa, oooooooh. you said a bad word. it made me giggle.

    fondly.
    e.r.

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  18. Emily...

    I think since every wednesday is a great laugh with you..You need to be on the payroll....and a extra bonus for being good....Then you would have income coming in for Jellybeans galore...

    (((((((((Hugs Emily)))))))))

    Love ya KJ

    Smiles,
    Sonia ;)

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  19. What a great story!! Love it.

    HAW

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  20. worth $25 for sure!!!

    ;)

    this is a nice story... and it sounds that Deb liked it just fine too...

    thanks for stopping by the site and saying hi... it's been some time since I was last in touch with you... but I'm always watching the blogosphere (which incidentally seems to be getting smaller and smaller by the day... I recognize so many names and friends... yours among them... everywhere I go)...

    and for sure I'm happy to get to know you and your writing better... we seem to have a bunch of common friends...

    was good of you to open the door and take the first step...

    I'm always happy to have new friends stop by...

    take care and I'll catch up with you again soon...

    Jon

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  21. roflol this is hysterical, pleeese write a book about miss emily...or just take these posts and have them published as a book. fabadabadoo are you, oh and you too kj.

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  22. sonia, what does it mean to be on the payroll? should you talk to kj about it? let me know when you do because it sounds like i would like it.


    thank you ms teri c. i am emily r.

    jon, i will pass your comment on to kj because you didn't say anything nice about me so you must want to talk to her instead, so i will tell her..

    soulbrush, write a book? would i be famous? would i still be able to keep my temper tantrums?

    affectionately,

    e.r.

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  23. I'd party with Bunny McGee anyone who has both carrots and jelly beans at the ready can't be all bad.

    Seems to be a thirty five dollar story to me.

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  24. mr. walking man, $ 35? oooooooooh. thank you. tell kj.

    fondly,
    emily rabbit

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  25. I love to scream/sing along with Janis. Thank you for telling me the correct words... I was singing it wrong this whole time.

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  26. as Marianne said, you're underpaid since not only Debra but the whole bunch of friends are willing to pay more...

    i loved your story not only for the hearty laugh but because of the chance i had to practice f*** words... that was an advice from dear friend, The walking man... he believes sometimes just these 'precious' words can help us through.... and i'm beginning to find wisdom in this advice!

    :D

    keep up the good job... and think about Soulbrush's suggestion... a book is a great idea... and you can get more money from kj...
    :)

    i loved your pic... i was really shocked when i saw it first... as you look very much like my sister...
    and she doesn't look like me at all...
    :D

    love you bunny rabbit...

    scream.... with lots of cream...
    :D

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  27. Emily forget scribbling away for $10. The whole world is your jellybean and you could have one bunnycool career ... reviving Janis's songs!

    Waddya think? I can play the drums with my back legs cause they are so long and strong and I know a couple of mates with guitars. Just say the word Emily, we could be your very own Big Brother band*!*

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  28. chewy, do you jump when you sing? just wondering...

    ms. human being, this is from ms. e. rabbbit. do you want help practicing all those F words? because i know for sure kj can help you alot. :)

    harryhare!!!!!! I'M SAYING THE WORD! YES! LET'S DO THAT. BUT WHO ARE YOU? i have to know and you have to tell me. okay? write back soon...i'm excited.

    affectionately,

    emily v. v. rabbit

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  29. G'day Emily I share a paddock down under with Bimbimbie. Every now and then I'll stand still long enough for her to spot me and take my photo. The last time she spotted me she really should not have. I was looking for a nice spot to leave her an Easter Egg but she saw me and ruined my surprise so I didn't leave her one. I ate it instead and it was delicious. If you would like to see how handsome I am take a peep at her April 11.

    errrm E m i l y, shall you wear the purple bikini when you sing? Only I'm not sure that the guitarists will be able to concentrate on their riffs if you should...

    'ooroo for now, HarryHare

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  30. harryhare, ms. bella sinclair told me not to wear my bikini. she said something bad might happen and she used a big word that began with pedifeelia or something like that. so i don't think i would wear it in a band. i will buy dark sunglasses and wear my pearl necklace. and you are nice looking, mr. harryhare. so now what should we do?

    yours truly,
    e.r.

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  31. Ding Dong Emily go with the shades and pearls! All we have to do now is Practice Practice Practice ... how long for do you suppose?

    'ooroo
    HarryHare

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  32. harryhare, how will we practice? can you come over to my bunny hole, or kj's backyard? i don't we'll need more than two days, because we don't have to be very good, right, just cute and interesting.

    sincerely
    emily

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