Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Hollywood Squares

It was on television a long time ago. My favorite comedian Paul Lynde would scrunch up his face and eyes and, looking like the choir boy he wasn't, say outrageous things that often went over the head of my young and innocent mind but I loved the guy. Here are some of the questions and answers from Hollywood Squares.
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Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions:
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Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
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Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
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Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
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Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
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Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
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Q.Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
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Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
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Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
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Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
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Q.If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
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Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

9 comments:

  1. *From under my bureau*: Hahahahahaha..hhahahahaha..! How come that Anglosaxon humour and Dutch humour are the same? I don't move an eyelash when I hear German humouristic things and I know that I am not the only one.

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  2. Great sense of humor.I never understood that show. I tried to watch it once and was so bored, reading the dialogue is so much better!

    Hey!

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  3. So funny! I'm with Ces about the show - I never found it interesting, but your post is a riot!

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  4. wieneke, your comment made me smile.

    ces, hey too!

    carla, i can still see paul lynde's face. he was a imp.

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  5. Oh, how I loved Paul Lynde. Comedy seems so mean spirited these days-what ever happened to the gentle joke?

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  6. We had the same show here years ago, redubbed "Celebrity Squares" sadly in a time when Australia really didn't have any celebrities so the humour was more 'bawdy' than clever. I can vouch for the Dutch/Anglo connection too, worked for a Dutch guy once and he was simply hilarious!

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  7. oh so hilarious... thanks for sharing them with us...
    good to read such humorous answers first in the morning... you made my day...
    love

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  8. Some of these are really funny!

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  9. Thanks for the laugh! Is that the same show where Whoooopi used to be in? I can remember only her... :)

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