Monday, June 30, 2008

Monday Inspiration....

My brother sends me silly internet stories on a regular basis. Few make it to my blog, but this one has.
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It's all about perspective. Oh, and about assumptions....
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Dear Ma and Pa,
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I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
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I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again.
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It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
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This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
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Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.
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Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
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Your loving daughter,
Alice

10 comments:

  1. Whoooohahahaha !!! I will translate this letter for a nephew of mine, who in his time extremely hated the army. That was a lot of years ago. Boys had to do their tour of duty at the age of 19/20. Now we have a professional army with people who have their jobs in it.

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  2. wieneke, i was a counselor at an army education center in germany for awhile. i'm not a big fan for many reasons--much of what i witnessed was troubling. but this one--hahahaha!

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  3. OK, I thought it had to be that.
    Good text.

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  4. My eyes just about popped out of my head on finishing this. What a hoot! Thanks fot eh grin (and the great photo of Ryan in the previous post!).

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  5. HAHAHAAA, when I began reading this it reminded me of living on the farm. THEN it kept going Hhehhehheeee!!!!

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  6. yes too funny for words, do people really write like this?

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  7. I suppose one has to read this with the correct accent too? Haha! This sounds like a movie scriptwriter's work.

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  8. Oh I enjoyed that and was caught off guard by the ending-me, a quasi southern country girl. I know it was a joke, but it makes me marvel at how deep stereotypes and images go, even within ourselves.

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